There is a sort of prejudice that a priest who leaves the parish, does so because of a woman. Well in many cases that we have encountered so far, this is not so.  Some cases prove beyond doubt that most priests change religion or abandon any type of approach towards religion soon after. The priest has been on a very lonely journey. He started hearing confessions; he sees what other priests do in real life; he knows the teaching of the church; he makes his own reflections….etc He doesn’t feel at home anymore in the Catholic Church.

He sees a big gap with what he teaches and what the common people live. This is not because people want to stray away from what the Holy Mother Church teaches, but it’s rather that some of its teachings needs to be updated with the life of 2013. The famous ‘pill’ debate is just one of them. How can he preach what he himself sees as a contradiction? He realizes that the gospel was interpreted in the wrong way, especially in some cases. Jesus Christ started to speak about the reality of his culture and day. Can we do the same today when we are used to hear priests speak against the ‘world’?

It’s not the woman who makes the priest fall into the so-called ‘temptation’ but rather finds a priest who is looking for answers…maybe both of them are walking in the same direction in their journey of faith. In most cases, the woman started as a companion in the priest’s journey of faith.

In most cases nowadays, there are fewer priests. Consequently most of them are truly busy. Hence the time for meetings between priests is disappearing. If such meetings do take place, the priest feels totally disconnected because of various reasons…it could be because they discuss other non-important or totally insignificant issues, or coldness in such meetings, or because of jealousy….

The priest becomes truly lonely. It’s so incredible..whilst on the outside he is giving hope and faith to the others, he himself feels all alone! In this case, discussing with another understanding adult becomes a necessity. It’s not the first time that a priest who makes himself available to others to listen to their problems, starts to speak about his personal and private life. This comes as a shock to some Catholics as they are used  to see the priest like God. He should be always strong in his faith.

For some people, this is super attractive as they see the priest as a man who shares his life with his people. In fact this is what happens when people meet a priest and slowly they start to get to know him better. It’s like a famous person (politician, soccer star, public person etc….). As soon as they get to know him, some women fall for him, as they see him as their companion, in terms of discussing issues.

It’s so easy to discuss things with another person who sees eye to eye with one’s view.  The loneliness and other problems, make the priest seek the presence of that special person. The possible consequences are not so difficult to anticipate. They would pass on from a friendship to a special friendship, and from there to a loving one.

The priest does enjoy himself in a loving relationship but once again the false teaching of the church comes up….what is he going to do? He knows the real answer, yet he keeps procrastinating…….

Now this is the exciting part not understood by most of the women involved in this relationship. What pushes a priest to keep postponing what to do with his life ?

Let’s speak about the ‘outside’ world. He has lived for so many years in a very protected environment. Can he find work and a place to stay? Now for most of the priests this is too strong for a challenge. He has lived a life in a main position, how can he go and work under somebody’s supervision? What kind of work is he going to do ? In fact one of the problems of priests is that notwithstanding that some of them did many years of study, yet it is not easily translatable in today’s work market! And this could be a stumbling block for him to decide. Obviously this could frustrate his woman who wants to offer support and all kind of help.

He might need re-training, but where? There no known areas/companies where they could treat priests in this particular situations. In most cases, the priest needs some time to adjust to his new surroundings. The problem is that without earning money that is very difficult to achieve. He needs a place to stay in….but where? In most cases the woman would offer the priest her place….but maybe he needs a neutral place where to adjust himself. In practical terms, in most cases he settles for the place the woman offers him.

Other priests suffer from the culture of gossip. How could they face their own parishioners with their new woman? What would the others say about them? He has been a public person so his decision will effect many many people. Some will take it negatively but others show compassion for his new and bold decision. Others don’t know how to handle the new situation. It’s like the scene of the Risen Christ – the ones who used to know him so well, will now feel so lost in his new presence! Some of the priests wouldn’t go beyond this point for this simple reason.

Surely one of the biggest hurdles is his own family. His family supported him all his life. How is he going to face them? What is he going to tell them? Incredibly some of his own family members may feel the pressure of the gossip and become violent or else very demanding of the priest. It’s understood that his family’s esteem will plummet. Not all family members will accept it! Some would go to great lengths in order to dissuade him from taking such decision.

Another issue (unknown to the woman), is that of relationships. Although the priest speaks about many things on the altar and gives counseling to many people, yet it’s very difficult for him to have a normal adult to adult relationship. With this woman he is moving on unknown grounds and he feels terribly afraid. It’s not just because he is a priest but rather because he is not in control anymore!! People are used to take orders from the priest but in this case they are equals. He is not used to love a person so close to him and to love her every day! He is in a foreign land! It may sound crazy but some of the priests could not handle this situation especially some of them who are after a sexual adventure. In fact, this proves that most of them are not for a sexual experience as they keep up with the relationship which is not just sexual but fully human and it is made up of many elements.

We hope of being of any help to many people involved in such a relationship. We are not experts but we do have some experience after so many years of listening to such stories. We do not offer solutions in the sense of what to do. It’s up to the individual who has to decide what to do. We always respect your decision whatever that maybe. Please do write a line or two to let us know the outcome of your story. Happy reading!