In the life of the church, we are accustomed to give a moral (ie good or bad) meaning to each and every human action. It goes without saying that when a priest falls in love with a woman, many people, as trained for many centuries, would raise the moral question to ask if it’s possible at all that such a fact occurs or who is to blame.

We’ve been repeating for many times that falling in love is not just a switch to put it on or off at will! Many people would prefer this kind of approach as it would render many decisions much easier. Many married people know from experience that to love a person is not that easy to control. Today we wish to focus on the part of the priest who realizes that he is not on a normal and easy road.

Priests are trained mostly on books which imply theories. They are usually trained at a very tender young age. Mostly they have very little experience especially about relationships. When love occurs their first reaction would be that of a shock. Most probably the next general feeling would be that of a sin. Now sin or no sin one cannot simply hide love. One way or another that person has entered his innermost and sacred area of his own self – his heart. Only an honest and true answer would be accepted.

Most priests would tend to run away when they realize the effects on their own lives if they would just think of leaving the comfort zone of their parish! What will the parishioners say? What about their own family members? What will other priests say about them? It’s not the first time that the loving woman won’t receive any message from her priest. Obviously the priest is trying to react to his loving emotions. Most probably running away for some time would seem to be the perfect solution.

Yet the love he felt in his heart cannot be buried forever. So one day or another he has to meet his loving partner to discuss the situation. His woman is confused that after exchanging some nice comments, compliments and the admission of love, her priest seems to be gone forever….Well, maybe he is feeling this special emotion for the first time in his life and he has to learn to cope with it.

We always recommend guidance and counseling when dealing with this kind of challenge. The two people may not be in a position to take the best solution because of various reasons. On the part of the priest there is a tendency to keep procrastinating the final decision….either to continue the relationship or else stop at that level. In some cases we found out that the priest is simply looking for a sexual friend to satisfy his unmet sexual needs. The surprising part of it is that he tries to justify sex by unusual sayings or so called teachings of what God wants them to do together!!! Some of the woman were totally surprised by the reasons given by the priest to justify his sexual act. Although we promote married priesthood, we want to make it clear that we never promote dishonesty or the use of persons just for the sake of sex. The married priest is not going to hide his feeling about his woman but he stands besides her in all times (even in case of pregnancy).

The priest would try to find some refuge in other priests friends. Yet the most expected answer is always to trunk the relationship which in some cases it could mean to hide the problem of the priest. In some cases the priest might see another ‘new’ woman and starts all over again…..On the other hand others might feel disillusioned that every time that they’re going to find love, they’re going to have the same response from peers. That’s because in the Catholic Church we’ve been looking at this problem from the same angle for too many years now.

In the light of this, some priests take the bold decision to stay with their woman and continue to serve the Lord as a married priest. His love for his woman won’t diminish his enthusiasm for the Lord’s work. The woman will give meaning and more energy to his work. He would form a new style of pastoral work with new people. These people are looking for something more genuine and pure and they’ll find it in married priesthood. The priest does not hold any secrets of his loving relationship but proudly displays it in his community.

We present the married priesthood based on the biblical image as it is more fruitful to today’s world. We firmly believe that seeing a married priest working in the community would bring about a positive change in the parish and in the faith of the parishioners. We firmly believe that we should promote and say a big thank you to many many women who work behind the stage in parishes, mostly in silence, and they never receive not even a single thank you!

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