The number of new readers that find our website is very encouraging. We do not market our site. But most of our readers are using the internet to find other people who fell in love with priests. They are pro-active people who use the internet to find a community with similar spiritual growth. This is the beauty of the internet where there is no need to catch and pay for an expensive flight. There are no time zones problem. We write messages to other people who may live thousands of kilometres away. Most of them are happy, that, when they wake up, they find an answer for their question. So when you’re sleeping, somebody might be reading and answering your question!

We just appeal to everybody. If you want more stories like these, please don’t be afraid of sharing your experience with other readers. If you want we can change some of the information so as NOT to give away your exact location and place. You might never imagine how much hope and spiritual help your story gives to other readers. One of the most common messages we read is that some claim that they never had an idea that such a website exists! It exists because there is a need for one. It exists because people look for it. It exists because people write their honest experience. Please write! The story of today was found online. This is a free and edited translation from the original Spanish.

I fell in love with a priest, Marcela García Llorente writes for this blog her testimony about a “forbidden love.” Her experience has changed her into an open person who helps others who have experienced something similar but they still prefer to remain in silence: the love that can be born between a priest and a woman.

When one realizes what this means, the first feeling is that of guilt. Paradoxically we label it as “guilt.” Actually it’s a feeling which is more beautiful and sublime than any other human need and experience. It is a love “forbidden” to be born and is therefore condemned to be hidden and underground. I had a loving relationship with a priest for over a year, living all the wonderful experiences that surround love, but not without switching into phases of difficulty, pain, confusion, anxiety and a host of feelings who struggle to find a solution. One of them is that of a deep loneliness… I felt alone in this world. I wondered how many more would live this experience and how they would live. That led me to search tirelessly these people. I still relive the great joy and relief that I felt the day I found the first one. Interestingly and to my surprise it was a priest to whom I confessed to, who was in transition (thinking of leaving active priesthood), because of living through the same situation.

He had lived in the anguish of my love to keep it secret, both to protect it as well also by an immense fear to speak and be judged. Until I lived my difficult separation, I was confined to a great loneliness. My greatest strength was to understand that love also meant “release”, so let it go and wish that you would be immensely happy. All this led me to think about creating a space to facilitate expression of those who needed, since everything we maintain repressed tends to recur repeatedly, even with a progressive increase becoming a powerful source of anxiety, stress or neurosis. This space was not only to support and enrich many people but also for myself.

The patterns behaviours tend to be similar in most cases, abounding the comings and goings, immaturity and coping when major problems occur, the irresponsibility and the “leak syndrome.” Currently I accompany large number of women from different countries and even also some priests and religious to, because like us, they happen to be experiencing the same things. The priest is a human being. At some point in his life, he needs one human affection. Practically he needs a real person. When this happens, he would be swimming in a sea of doubt and they often face the question: Why I will resign from the ministry for which I have prepared and I’ve always wanted to do?

In other cases, with the ambiguous claim of chastity, they play lots of games. These are games of seduction that are not defined and end up affecting both members. The fragility of the individual who is subjected to these internal and external pressures are so great that the person won’t have enough clarity for serious reflection nor for a mature and responsible decision. Each person contacted for the first time perceived one desperate need for help and a great relief to have someone who had lived same experience and listening without judging beforehand, someone to accompany him/her to transit through their experiences, answer questions, heal wounds, understand and see a light in their way forward.

There are many cases of people who have been left with very deep scars, even with total loss of faith or unable to attend Mass because doing so meant reopening his wounds. The healing process usually is very painful to carry it out. Normally it is done without someone to accompany the person. One needs to tackle this heavy weight and achieve some inner peace which allows the individual to clearly discern that path he/she will take. Repression does not solve the problem. The only sin that Jesus appeared to forgive was hypocrisy. I think it does no good to anyone shut these issues because the Gospel says “there is nothing hidden that will not be discovered one day, nothing secret that will not should be known. ” If this situation is not addressed and try to learn it and not deny, no we can never arrive at an understanding of it and think about of a possible solution to many existing cases.

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