We all wish to influence our parish or our spiritual home in a positive way. The multi million dollar question is: How?

Well basing ourselves on the gospel, Jesus was very successful when performing great miracles. But when he was crucified, he was not so successful, at least by common standards. The apostles relied too much on his charisma and unique personality, so much so that they went into hiding and they didn’t want to venture out of the closed but comfortable room.

So speaking about married priest is not a question of how. It’s more a question of feeling empowered to do so. Most still form part of the seated audience who are waiting for the priest to do everything. The church is a community where everyone has to do his part. We can’t expect anybody to do the change, if we don’t start by making our first bold step.

The fact of the sexual scandals is still having effect on the Catholic church. It shows that while the priests speak to others how to behave sexually, in their personal lives they are living a total lie. Now it has been proved scientifically that forced celibacy does lead to sexual frustrations. Our grandmothers, who may have never attended theological classes nor psychological lessons, have told us several times that those who cannot enter through the door, they will do so through the window (referring to basic sexual needs).

The number of priests has dwindled in the western culture. This leads to more pressure of work. Now it’s easier for the unmarried priest to get a burn out by becoming literally a workaholic. With no emotional, psychological, moral and friendly support, it might lead to more sexual frustrations which in turn will put him into a more complicated situation. The situation is not like some years ago where priests used to meet in large numbers and find comfort in each other. Now priests are overburdened with meetings etc.….People in the parish used to stay for a very long time. Nowadays, people are used to change city, town etc…for various reasons. The priests themselves are being transferred more often from one parish to another. This leads to a ‘soul burning’ where the priest cannot have long, lasting friendships. In other words, the priest like everybody else, needs a significant other in order to speak about his life, his desires, his difficulties, his dreams…….he cannot just be a priest all the time by helping others and not helping himself. After all priests too were created by God as human beings and like all human beings they need to talk to somebody. They need encouragement, people who listen without judging etc.….

Another big asset is our present Pope Francis who has already mentioned that married priesthood is on his agenda. At the same time he has shown the way forward. He wants the local bishops to ask for them. Now the local bishops won’t ask for married priests if the laity or the people in his town won’t ask explicitly for married priesthood! So readers please find ways and means to communicate with your local bishop to insist on married priesthood. You can borrow material from this blog to include in your communication.

Now married priesthood has a big advantage in the sense that most people (whether or not they are practising Catholics), are in favour of it! The signs of the times are all pointing into one direction. Don’t feel like a pariah when you speak about married priesthood. All people with some common sense will surely agree. The witness of the married priests, who together with their wives continue their witnessing to the gospel by living a normal life, will continue to attract more supporters. There is no better argument than seeing evidence where the married priest feels more calm, peaceful, mature, understanding and very close to the situation of the people.

Another good asset is the fact that most of the apostles were married. No one can dampen your spirit if you mention this fact. Facts are facts. There is no way of hiding them. If we wish to follow the bible we cannot let this fact go by.

The disadvantage is that because it involves a secret relationships people are very reluctant to speak about it! We have experience with our blog. Some people are still not prepared to share their story online, notwithstanding the fact that we change names and whereabouts! Others won’t speak about private and personal experience (i.e. involving falling in love with priests), no matter what! We are here dealing with something which is personal and private! We cannot expect all the people passing through such experience to be parading in our main capital cities and telling everybody what they have experienced.

One final thought. No one is going to promote married priesthood except us! So let’s make our first step by speaking with our friends, neighbours and/or families! Don’t forget to speak to your bishop because it is he who has to communicate with the Pope to tell him about married priesthood!

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