Somebody who is new to our site would think that we’re encouraging women to fall in love with priests. Well, if they just read some of the experiences they would surely know that it is not true. Because many women are writing to show how heartbroken they are because their loved priest is so cold or not answering any kind of communication.

Well, as a husband and priest, I’ll try to bridge the gap. If I’m not successful please do not hesitate to write. Remember we’re always open to suggestions. This is your blog, so please do participate by making your voices heard!

A priest is living on his own for most of his time, notwithstanding that he is in contact with people all the time. This means that although he talks to people, he has to put on a mask. He preaches, he tells people what to do etc. But who knows his true feelings? Who knows what he really thinks about the church? Most of the time he is saying one thing to the others, but deep deep down he believes another.
Priests are trained not to be sincere!! In most cases the most popular reason would be that he has to be a rock for his people and not admit his failures on insecurities (!!).

One of the first alarm bells (or call it what you like), goes off when a priest finally lifts his mask and speaks his heart out, maybe for just a few minutes. Yet it’s enough to attract the other person to start looking beyond that tiny piece of sharing. Sharing always involves bonding. Bonding will call for more meetings in order to get to know the friendly person.

The priest is used to being transferred every now and then so as soon as he feels bonding, the urge to run away is sort of ‘normal’. Once a friend of mine, in a rare moment of openness, said: ‘I’ll never fall in love because practically every 3 years I change parish’!

Another philosophical/theological reason would be that a priest cannot have deep friendships as if he is not human at all! He has been urged to keep distance from other normal human beings. Nowadays priests duties are enormous, consequently in most cases they prefer to be alienated with more work! In that case they avoid becoming vulnerable in front of another human being!!

The woman = sex is the biggest hindrance. They have been told many times to avoid women (are they to blame for the need of openness, sharing, caring etc..??). So the fact that a priest may just spend a few minutes talking to a woman, deep deep down he feels that he has already gone beyond of what is expected of him!! This happens even on social media even though the conversation maybe totally private with no one watching, the priest still feels that he is doing something evil.

I do remember my time in the monastery. Most of my companions were seen with men, talking or going for a walk. Practically it was ok. But as soon as I was simply talking to a woman in an open space, all eyes were watching each and every action which took place. Obviously most gay priests pull the legs of other companions if they are seen talking to a woman!! Have you ever thought about hypocrisy?

Please do remember that priests have abandoned any form of relationships with other human beings (except in the parish, where they ask others to do 1001 odd jobs), for quite a long time. So one can imagine how the priest feels to be in a relationship. He is used to go anywhere with no ties and with no timetables. People are there to serve him.

Now all of a sudden he feels ‘trapped’ by one single woman! She just pretends that he listens to her and communicate. Do you think it’s easy for him just to give her some time for communication? Actually it’s not a time problem but more of the consequences involved. He is used to live like a king. Now all this is about to disappear if he says yes to one single woman.

Please excuse me for using this kind of language priests use to describe the ‘act of falling in love with a woman’. Maybe it sounds awful or disgusting for normal people who are used to having relationships, yet we did this as a service to make women aware of what they are fighting against.