Today we wish to welcome the priests who in great secrecy read our blog. We wish to welcome them in a special way. Looking back, our writing may give the impression that it was too harsh on priests.

So we feel the need to clear the air today. We are not judging anybody, neither the priest nor the woman when they fall in love. On the other hand we cannot accept the fact that some priests do play with a woman’s heart, at times they want simply to have the best of both worlds!

We are the first to acknowledge that it’s not easy from the priest’s part to leave everything and marry the woman. What we are looking for (and most of the women readers too), is sincerity and total transparency. Like in all relationships, there is no clear formula to follow but at least if there is total openness, and real communication, at least the women can understand the priest. The most hated action is that of hot and cold response. They can’t satisfy their conscience simply with the thought that no sex has taken place. Any human being has feelings. Now sharing some information which is considered to be confidential will bring the two persons on a deep level (sex or no sex). That kind of intimacy cannot be deleted too quickly. They cannot simply discard the person after such experience.

We are not pushing anybody into any decision. We had counselled priests who have left and priests who have stayed. We are NOT the ones who take decisions. The priest has to take that decision. No rush, no pressure. Yet one cannot leave a person hanging on for too long. A decision either way has to be taken.

In a normal world, one cannot simply disappear into thin air! A priest has to prove his worth not with beautiful words but in real life. We do know that coming close to a woman is an uncharted sea. We know of all the brainwashing the priest has undergone in the early stages of formation. We have experience with priests’ loneliness. The crave to go back home to a loving person where one can show love in a physical way.

Priests should know that the biggest change in the world, recently, was the celebration of the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965) where instead of the traditional method where people have to put on a straight jacket, one needs to find the principles and God’s call in one’s unique life (which in most cases is not according to tradition).

Perhaps the biggest challenge for priests is that they are used to black and white colours (either good or bad). Well, we are trying to intoduce the grey colour! Priests were taught about morality (which is not simply classifying actions as bad or good). They should have the courage to practice what they’ve been taught.

All in all, we are looking for a dialogue. Let’s keep this discussion going. Let’s not judge or be too defensive. We should come together and discuss seriously in a prayerful way. Many readers have continuously written that we need the voice of more men in order to make our dialogue complete. We cannot see things just from the outside. We need the same men to let us in and see what we cannot see up to now.

The future of the church is at stake. Vocations have dwindled. Letting some married men to become priests will bring that number up although we don’t expect too many. Yet each new vocation counts in the world of today where many are bombarded by social media. Yet the biggest change will not be in numbers but in thought. Married priesthood will be the needed change in the church in order to face the world of today. They will start reflecting on all the teaching of the church from a different point of view. They will have a family to cater for. They will have growing up teens with all the challenges. The priest won’t live in a comfort zone. He has to face all the challenges like all normal people. That is what we’re looking for. On the other hand, how can we speak of spirituality, church etc… if there is no choice for priests? Celibacy should not be tied to priesthood but a free and mature choice after a certain age. Not giving choice to priests will give an ugly face to the church.

Dear priests, we’re waiting for your honest opinion…..don’t be afraid! We’ll protect your name, place etc… No one will know who you really are.

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