Archive for July, 2018


Emotional maturity

Our schools rarely cater for such need for students in order to be educated in emotions. We all think about academic achievements, yet the students in front of the teacher come to school with a luggage of emotions!

In school they are realising that a student is influenced by not less than 70% outside the school perimeter (family, peers, internet etc..). Just the remaining 30% is in the hands of the school (when delivered correctly!!)

Now what about priests? They rarely receive any education whatsoever when it comes to emotions. Why are we surprised that they run away when they fall in love or because they give the cold and hot attitude to a person who cares so much for them?

There are various websites which could help our readers to get some basic knowledge when dealing with emotional intelligence. One can just use a search engine to get some interesting reading.

In the meantime let’s continue debating…..priests should be helped to make them aware of emotions especially when they are attracted to somebody. First of all they need to find the assurance that nobody is going to report them to the bishop because of such feelings! Secondly they come to terms with the fact that finding attractive people is part and parcel of life. We meet people all the time, some are too busy, some are arrogant, some live on the moon but some are so attractive. There is always a reason why meet such people.

Once they acknowledge their true feelings, they can start working on them. Now, how can we go on with these feelings? We are not implying or forcing anybody to go and fall in love. But such experience could reveal a lot about the priest. One of them is the lack of friends. We mean friends who don’t look for the priest simply to find the perfect man but who can be himself and speak about his heart calmly and without fear. The priest works a lot for the others. But who takes care of him?

Another aspect which hinders the priest’s progress in emotional maturity is his position in the parish. The fact that he is the boss, he doesn’t need to convince anybody to press on with his arguments. He doesn’t need to listen to his parishioners! Nowadays most priests are simply buried with the parish work that they don’t have time to do family visiting. They don’t have time to meet some forgotten areas or difficult areas in the parish! In most of the time he is not challenged by the young teens because they stopped attending church!

Conflict is a good indicator of one’s emotional maturity! How does the priest react when facing opposition?

In other words, the priest, living on his own is simply detached from our ‘normal’ life where we are challenged in our work by our superiors or by clients or by new companies. Or where we get hurt by other people’s comments or behaviour! Just the other day I was at the seaside and an angry woman just threw a chair out of its way…..it’s a classical example of how people need to be educated in emotions. Whatever reason she had, we simply don’t throw chairs just because somebody doesn’t agree with us or maybe he or she behaved badly! If we start throwing chairs then it will be a war not a civilisation anymore!

The emotional test will be very challenging with the people we love most. One is because we live together or we see each other most of the time ie the more we see each other the better chances of hurting each other. Secondly because we expect much more from our loved ones. Our expectations are so high with people we admire and love. Consequently we are in a better position to be disappointed!

It’s up to the readers to continue our discussion…..

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Children of priests

Relationships between women and priests have always been clandestine. It’s never an easy subject to discuss. Most people prefer secrecy. But another aspect which we have never discussed is the issue of the effect of making love – children.

Priests are more likely to have children as they are not experienced in birth control methods. Besides their love making is hidden and done quickly.

Maybe hiding a love relationship between adults is one thing, but hiding from children is totally devastating! How can a father not see, caress, accompany, play and spend time with his child?
That is why we’ve been against secrecy from day one. Once everything is covered in great secrecy, one can expect that lateral secrets will be kept under great scrutiny from the Catholic Church.

Speaking about the truth will make everybody free. Yet in some quarters in the Catholic Church they still prefer to keep a lid on all secrets. It has taken some victims great courage to come forward and tell their hidden stories.

Obviously some of them were looked upon like sinners. They were given all sorts of names. But those seeking the truth listened to their incredible stories.

The best part of it is that children are a living proof of the love between the woman and the priest. On the other hand, when they’ll discover who their true father is, they realise that they have been robbed of a normal life. They can’t tell who their true father was. Most probably they have been taught to lie. Like in real life all lies come to an end one day or another. Yet this time the child is practically left without a trail. He/she would like to know her father, yet secrecy and contradictory reports prevent all this.

Besides the story of the hidden father, the church fails its people as it goes against its fundamental moral teaching. He who is a paternal father should be held responsible and make sure of helping the mother. This not only on financial matters but rather in giving support to the mother and by being present in the child’s life. One cannot simply tell the mother to go and hide herself!

In some cases, the priest tried in a private manner to convince the woman to have an abortion in order to hide his adventure. In some cases, the woman died as they were conducting abortion in clinics which were not up-to-standard, by they promised anonymity.

It all shows that some members of the church go to great heights in order to cover these secrets. Yet somebody has to speak out in order to denounce the ugly face of celibacy when it is forced on priests!

Now people who are not afraid to speak out would be helping the church in keeping her secrets hidden from the common people. In fact when they force people to shut up, it means that they are afraid! We are the ones who should feel proud because we are helping the church to come out and be transparent. It will be more Christ like but less of an institution.

We are proud on this blog that together with readers we’re uncovering some of the secrets held by priests who try to gag women. Others become very violent or life threatening to the woman they made love with!

Please help us by publishing your story to prove that the effects of forced celibacy are not light and they are not ‘just a few of them’.