The word argument might have a negative connotation for some people in some particular cultures. Well, many years ago it was the basic form of education in the old times (referring to Greek and Roman times). People used to bring the hearsay to ‘old’ people in order to hear their views about it.
The so called ‘old’ teachers had the knack of building up an argument in order to expose their teaching. So the argument was an excuse to spread their way of thinking. There weren’t classes as such but the so called arguments took place in the square where all the people used to mingle (whether for business, curiosity, to hang out or simply to gossip!)
We too can start from what the people say and think and take it up to the next level. We should show our way of presenting the argument.
One of the most famous (or infamous!) hearsay is that of sexual abuse which might happen if priests are not allowed to get married. We have to be extra careful how we present it as our adversaries might tell us that married people too abuse young children. But it doesn’t mean we have to drop this side of the argument. Let’s get deep down.
Both single and married people abuse children. That’s a fact. Nobody can deny it. But is it for the same reason? Now this is the side of the argument that most of them forget. Let’s give an example: stealing. A poor person might steal because it needs to. Does it mean that rich people don’t steal? No sir. They steal TOO. But they do it for a different reason.
The same with sexual abuse coming from unmarried priests. Yes the lack of sexual expression might lead to different forms of sicknesses. One of them is to reach out for young, inexperienced and virgin young boys and girls. This has been proved in many scientific studies. Just to mention a comparison it’s like somebody who is dying of hunger and sees the trash bin of somebody. Without thinking twice he would open it and eat the first food item found, forgetting about getting sick from such food! Yes some unmarried priests sometimes are craving for just a handshake! Most of them would like to have a sexual encounter in their deepest and hidden wishes. They are practically being crucified everyday! They simply go nuts when the perfume of a woman enters their office. This is the environment when sexual abuse of children takes place. No one can deny it! They can’t contain their sexual appetite and consequently they express it on the most vulnerable section of society – children!
Married people too abuse young and inexperienced young children. Again we emphasize, but it’s for a different reason.
We are not simply going to give permission to an abuser to get married in order to solve the problem! That would be complete nonsense!
But why are we asking for married priesthood then?
The first primary reason is the bible. How could we encourage people to read the bible and then go against the bible? Most of the apostles were married. How can we justify that our priests today go against the bible? If we start making excuses for not following the bible then all teaching will fall away!
Secondly, we firmly believe that a priest with a woman at his side would change his outlook on life, spirituality and philosophy of work completely. We can’t simply insist on the mentality that men alone are better qualified for the job. As time passes by, we notice that teens who are still coming to church, in most cases have a very active mum (in the religious sense)!! Mums, in many cases are doing a priest’s job by speaking about God to children and bringing Him alive to them. In many parishes, the contribution of women is often hidden. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not important!
Married priesthood is going to be the starting point of a new revolution where all the teaching of the church has to be: reflected on, shared, discussed and action taken upon! All this enveloped in an environment of prayer. Let’s not be afraid of the Holy Spirit who speaks in different times and in different ways though various and unexpected people!
The issue of sexual abuse of children is a complex one with many factors, it would be unwise to say everyone who commits these acts do so for the same reason. However, basically we can say well adjusted adult men and woman, who are emotionally stable and whole do not seek out children to meet their sexual or intimacy needs— celibate or not, this will not happen.
I don’t believe celibacy itself is the problem, but forced celibacy in combination with other factors might lead to this sexual acting out describe in the article. But not all celibate priests act out sexually, with minors or adults, so it is not THE cause, but in some cases can be a factor.
Whether or not optional celibacy would have resulted in less children being abused sexually by priests is something we will never know. We cannot undo the past, only learn from it. So what can the RCC learn from its past? It is forced celibacy doesn’t work because it is evil.
Scripture is clear no one is to force anyone to be celibate. How could the RCC believe disregarding God’s word and putting their own spin on things would reap anything but the chaos it now has.
If there is argument against forced celibacy, it is God’s word itself and a history of evidence that proves going against God’s word is a gateway for evil to enter in.
A married priesthood would not guarantee perfection, but it would be align with God’s word and that itself will produce different fruit than the diseased fruit forced celibacy brought forth.
The disease fruit that also includes driving out good men who truly love God and wanted to serve him and his people but refuse to submit or couldn’t follow a rule that God never asked them to follow.
You can dress up a grave plot with flowers. You put statues of Mary, Jesus and Joseph on it. You have a headstone with beautiful spiritual words on it, yet underneath all these pretty things is a rotting corpse. Likewise the RCC can disguise forced celibacy with “pretty” religious ideas, but history proves, force celibacy is rotten. Its decay and stench is now visible for all to see.
One can only hope the leadership will stop trying to cover up the rotting corpse and admit its error.
Excellent reasoning, Promise CAN. I haven’t seen it explained this well before. Yes, forced celibacy goes against God’s word. Celibacy is a charism of the Holy Spirit given to a very small percentage of men being ordained. They are forced to make the promise of celibacy to their bishop in order to be ordained. It really is NOT a free choice for the majority of them, from what I’ve learned talking to many priests over the years. There are those who receive the charism, and I have known a few, but most of the ordained priests struggle daily with temptations and the need to be loved. This is a need which God gives to all of us, and forcing men to suppress this need all too often leads to serious problems for them.
The fact is that priests know before making the promise to the bishop that they are promising to be celibate. Why do they choose a path that implies this promise if they know they will have to suffer and struggle and most likely fail in maintaining the promise?
Fr.Daniel..i have just read your great article..one great article after another. Yes,indeed!! Like promise said above..it isn’t celibacy that causes most priests to sexually abuse poor little innocent children,,,but,,,,,FORCED CELIBACY!!!! They are very sexually deprieved..and most priests go insane without expressing their natural sexual instincts. Even..here in italy they are talking about already the synod of 2019..”married priests.” Pope Francis is definitely going to make celibacy optional. My cousin told me about all this yesterday..she and her husband wrote the great book…”il papa padre”…”the pope father”…and they are doing so much research on ending forced celibacy. All i can say is……IT’S ABOUT TIME!!!!!! Thanks and blessings to everyone. Let’s stick together with lots of prayers!!!!!! Prayers can move mountains!!!!!
The history of priestly abuse is majority of times opportunistic assault.
Cases from decades ago reveal children were most available and therefore very vulnerable.
Overtime there has been a shift in the acceptance of same sex preferences, not exclusive of priests,so we’re witnessing abuses of a different venue.
Many are still victims of opportunity, it’s just morphed into another form of opportunity.
I believe past or present cases are a direct result of mandatory celibacy.
On top of being anti-scriptural , if defies human nature.
Men like sex and many times they may act out in reaction to a build up of denial.
Creeps will always be creeps, but denying a healthy sexual relationship for most men including priests is more than likely going to result in various types of clandestine activity because that’s all they know to experience , since a real relationship is so taboo.
What an irony.
I think there is no excuse for pedophilia. Maybe there are reasons behind that perverted behaviour, but not “reasonable” reasons.
Many people suffer from loneliness and isolation, I terribly suffered from it as well in many times of my life but I never thought of finding consolation in children or generally in perversion and abuse of others.
Pedophilia is an illness, connected sometimes with narcissistic personality disorders and predatory behaviours. Often it is a compulsive urge. And pedophiles mostly search for jobs or lifestyles where they are in contact with minors and in a position of power, and being a priest is a perfect life for perverted people who feel entitled to abuse others.
I think there is no excuse. Priests are always surrounded by more women than men. If they feel urge for sex and/or for love, they can fall with an adult (woman or man), even to pay an adult prostitute if you have an extreme urge (by saying that, I am not encouraging prostitution!!!) BUT if you are a normal person with a normal sexuality, you cannot find satisfaction in a child. You are not even sexually attracted by children. These people, married, priests, singles, or whatever, are disturbed people and they have to be cured and to be put in an environment where they cannot touch or groom children.
That’s it. I don’t find any link between celibacy and development of pedophile tendencies. In normal people. In sick-minded and perverted people, celibacy can be a comfortable excuse for exerting pedophile practices.
I don’t think priests struggle with celibacy as much as the laity presume that they do. Yes it’s true some have relationships and some leave to marry. Most of them are addicted to being kept busy.
In relation to sexual abuse. The church most likely attracts paedophiles,as the lifestyle represses sexuality. Considering paedophiles have a warped sexuality as it Is,they fit right in.
Overall I think most priests just live without sex and it just goes off their radar.
@Mary 2
Priest celibacy exists nowhere in scripture, so it’s an invalid “vow”.
Many are mislead at a very young , impressionable stage in their lives.
I for one am extremely grateful that my life is not going in one straight direction and that the Holy Spirit is present and guiding my path.
There is no reason that may not be the circumstance in many priests lives as well.
As the old saying goes..’you don’t know you’re missing something until it presents itself’
Well, that is partly true. In Matthew 19, when Jesus discussed divorce the apostles afterwards ask Jesus if were better not to marry. Jesus said, not marrying is a teaching that is not for everyone, only those who can accept it. Those who can accept it, God will help.
Then Jesus gave three examples of why men would not marry. The first were eunuchs born that way– this is seen either as a reference to men born without male sex organs, or to men who will have low sex drives and not want sex, or some see it as Jesus referring to homosexuality. The second example are eunuchs made eunuchs by men. In those times some men were castrated in service of the nation they belonged to. And the third example, some men will become eunuchs for the Kingdom of God
.
So technically wanting to stay unmarried to be devoted to God is in Scripture. But Jesus clearly states this is only for those who can accept it. It is not a requirement. So no, there isn’t any where in scripture that says in order to serve God as a priest you have to be celibate. Scripture is clear that forbidding marriage is the teaching of demons–But if one wants to be celibate for God, one can. It is whether a RCC priest has a choice that is the issue.
Some say by agreeing to be a RCC priest it means they agreed to be celibate. But is it a choice when you don’t have a choice? Meaning, how many priests today, if the priesthood ended tomorrow would freely choose to be stay celibate if no longer required by their vocation?
Another way to put it is– if you wanted a certain cable channel for your television, but could only get it if you buy a package with 10 other channels you do not want–are you really choosing those 10 channels, or you are agreeing to take them in order to get the channel you really want? Having those 10 channels doesn’t mean you wanted them, will watch them or enjoy them, they are just there because you had to take them, to get the channel you do watch.
Many men want to be priests and want to serve God as a RCC priest, but the RCC holds the priesthood hostage, saying if you want this, you HAVE to give us this. Agreeing to it to get what they want doesn’t mean they accept what they have to take along with it.
Those priests who truly want to be celibate and everything that goes with it, God will help them live without sex and there are many who fall into this group. But those who accept celibacy because they have no choice to take it as a condition to service will struggle. They might not complain, they might not break the spirit of their promise, they might keep super busy, but it doesn’t mean they don’t struggle with it.
Optional celibacy will free men to make an honest choice. If they want to try to go the celibate route and find they can’t handle it, then they are free to pursue marriage, as of now, they have to give up their vocation– when the issue isn’t one of doctrine, but a man made requirement.
Also when this rule can into effect how long did the average man live? At most the man might have to live celibate twenty years, now they go forty or fifty years– even Jesus only lived to be 33– it is time to admit the error and give a RCC priest a real choice.
I’m referencing mandatory celibacy for priests has no scriptural basis, in fact it is anti /scripture.
As I stated in my first post it is unwise to lump all cases of sexual abuse of minors into one cause. It assumes only pedophiles abuse children, which is untrue. Many pedophiles never touch children, but are still pedophiles because they are turned on by children—this can be harmful too, because nowadays these pedophiles consume images, which leads to children being exploited for child porn– which is just as criminal— but this notion of–if we can weed out pedophiles from the priesthood, there will be no longer be sexual abuse of children by priests is misleading.
For example, in Africa because of the AIDS epidemic many RCC priests there stopped having sex with women in fear of getting AIDS and began to have sex with minor girls because they were deemed safe sexual partners— this wasn’t pedophilia– but just as evil.
In prisons many men engage in homosexual activities, not because there are gay, but because sex is a way to have “power” over other inmates, but also, there are no women available. Proving under certain circumstances straight men are willing to have any sex, even homosexual sex, rather than have no sex at all.
So lets us not pretend mandatory celibacy didn’t play a role in some of the cases of sexual abuse in the RCC– maybe it didn’t play a role in most of them, but even if it played a role in one case, one case is too many– as I said celibacy itself is not THE cause, nor is it an excuse that validates anyone abusing a child. Yet, the role it played if any has to be looked at and addressed.
I know this is way off topic: but I just want to wish the canadians on here a very Happy Thanksgiving weekend and time off! Enjoy time with family and friends, and if you still feel pain in your heart from a current or past relationship with a priest, may you find a bit of peace this weekend or soon.
Thank you for the good wishes of Thanks Giving A 🙂 I wish Peace and Healing to all.
Louise
I would have given a thumbs up but no smiley for that here. So I’ll just put a smily face. 🙂
The closing sentence of Matthew 19:12, “LET anyone accept this who CAN”, does not seem like a command at all to me; it implies freedom, not compulsion. So bringing this verse forth as Scriptural basis for MANDATORY celibacy is just wishful thinking.
Besides, if read in context, it becomes clear Jesus is not talking about priesthood or its being incompatible with marriage; He mentioned the “eunuch thing” while answering a question about divorce and the subsequent reaction of some, “If one can’t divorce, than it’s better to never get married”.
PS. By the way, I am not the Anne who has commented above.
When I brought up the Gospel of Matthew, it was not meant to be a defense of mandatory celibacy. It was merely to point out the issue of adopting celibacy for God is in Scripture if one wanted to do it–, I made that very clear – the choice part. It is the issue of forbidding marriage that is against scripture– and why forced celibacy is evil.
I know my posts are long, and some might not bother reading the whole thing-but if you read my whole post I explained why RCC priests do not have a real choice– yet some might go along with it,even if they do not want to be celibate. There might be some in the RCC that use Matthew to endorse a celibate priesthood, but am I not one of them.
A choice that is not a choice is not really a choice.
Promise CAN,
I’m sorry it took me so long to clarify something I planned to do the same day I posted my little apologetic comment on Matthew 19:12.
I wrote it after having only had a quick look at the comments that had been posted up to that day on this thread, with the intention to afterwards read them carefully.
So, yes, while writing, I was under the wrong impression that you had brought up that verse as a scriptural basis for priestly celibacy. But once I posted my reply, I thoroughly read your comment and, believe me, I felt such an idiot. Had there been a delete button, I would have deleted my comment, so great was my embarrasment. I wanted to beg yout pardon, but kept putting it off now for one reason, now for another, hoping in the meantime you had not read what I had written.
At long last, here I am. Forgive me! You really rock, I really love the way you write and your impeccable logic! God bless you!
Thank you Anne, no problem– we all been guilty of making an error or two in life. I am doing my best to scale back on the number of words I use to make my point, because I know long posts are harder to digest. God bless you for taking the time to apologize, it shows real character– not everyone is gracious enough to do so.
Hi A.
Sorry about the delay in responding….dealing with some last minute legal isuues is taking up much of my time.
Holidays of any kind are always very difficult so your wishes of peace are appreciated.
Thanks A. May God bless you.
Cat, I understand what you mean… It’s never easy and sometimes it’s a scar we will forever carry. But I am happy that my wishes of peace were well received. Good luck in all your projects (legal issues, etc.). I am sure once it’s all dealt with, that you will feel that total peace of heart that you so deserve. You’ve suffered a lot.
God bless you too. 🙂
Thank you so much A. You kindness is very much appreciated. This last month has been extremely difficult with the anniversary of his passing. But you are right, I feel like I’m on the road to peace now. The big move is happening soon and being with his family will help to soothe some of the pain.
May God bless you for your thoughtfulness A. ❤️