Tag Archive: Aquarius


One of our readers, E.C., wanted to share some thoughts with us.

I’m a woman. When I started my journey back into Christianity about 7 years ago, I started with the Eastern Orthodox Church, where married priests with their wives and children were the norm, and an unmarried priest was seen as odd, but of course, quite welcome.

It seems funny then that I settled on Roman Catholicism, where the priests make a promise of celibacy to their Bishops, never to have a spouse or children.

I respect the priest who honestly wants and welcomes celibacy into his life and who knows how to handle that, but many men feel that they have no choice but to live this celibate life in order to have their priesthood.

So many men force themselves to live a celibate life when they are not meant to do so, hoping for the best possible outcome, only to realize when it’s too late that what they desire is a family as well as the priesthood.
A few scenarios are then possible:

-The priest continues on with his pastoral duties but lives a very lonely and frustrated life.
-The priest, in his frustration, uses his power to his advantage, using people to fulfill his unmet needs in an inappropriate way, either with adults or with minors.
-The priest forms a meaningful, loving, consensual relationship with an adult partner, but must keep it secret for fear of being exposed and losing his pastoral position, and thus his livelihood.
-The priest leaves the priesthood in order to pursue the building of his family, usually regretting that choice because he knows he was meant to be a priest, but he also loves the family that he’s made/wanting to make. He will be torn for the rest of his life.

Forcing a man to choose one vocation or the other when he desires both will only leave him broken in the end. If he chooses one, he will always yearn for the other.
Although some are quite happy never to think of the priesthood again, they would be the minority.
Once a priest, always a priest.
“Tu Es Sacerdos In Aeternum”

Now, on to our beloved Pope Francis:

“Pope Francis has appointed members of a pre-synodal council who will collaborate with the secretariat of the Synod of Bishops in preparation for the Pan-Amazonian synod next year”
-National Catholic Register

To be discussed, among other things, optional celibacy for priests in that region.
In doing so, he is opening the door for wider discussion on the need for optional celibacy throughout the entire church.

“Although some exceptions already exist to allow married priests in the Catholic Church (the Eastern rites and the Ordinariate for former Anglicans for example), the Amazonian case could be used to allow for married clergy wherever priest shortages might exist, and therefore permit a far wider provision.
Whether any change to the discipline will actually happen remains speculative, but past statements along with today’s appointments makes it clear that a push for some change to the discipline is already going ahead.”
-National Catholic Register

Let us pray that this synod will open the eyes and the hearts of those who claim to be against optional celibacy for our beloved Roman Catholic priests.

Let them see the benefits that it will bring, including, but not limited to:
-A reduction in abuse cases.
-An increase in priestly vocations.
-An improved quality of life for priests.
-An increase in the number of people who attend the Holy Mass.
-An increase of understanding and trust between priest and parishioner.

And finally, on to one of the reasons that I take this topic so personally:

I have been in a relationship with a Roman Catholic priest for the last 6 months, but it has been very difficult on us both. My siblings and a few of my closest friends know of our relationship, but that is it.
He is a very confused man, he does not believe that opening the door for optional celibacy is the solution for many of the crises in our church, but he gladly keeps the secret relationship with me.

I cannot understand how someone in his situation can think that way.
Most likely, our romantic relationship will end, it has gone back and forth for a while now, so it’s just a matter of time. Although, him and I both agreed that when it ends, we will remain friends, as we do get along very well.
I am not the first relationship that he has had while he’s been a priest, I am at least the third -that is what he’s told me.

I don’t like the hypocrisy that he is putting forward, leading this double life.
I wish there was something I could do to open his eyes to what I’m trying to show him. I try to drop hints all the time about how I feel about forced celibacy, but he quickly changes the subject.
There is an age gap between us(15+ years, and I am in my 30’s) so I wonder if that contributes at all to his mindset?
For now, I have stopped pushing him, and just try to enjoy our time together.

Optional celibacy will not fix all the problems in all of our priests and in our church, but it is a step in the right direction.

Pictured above: My partner and I.

“Oh, to love and to be loved. It is to us sustenance, just as food, water, air, God!
We need it in our lives, and to deny that is to deny a large part of what makes us human.
We are made in the image and likeness of God, so then to love is not only good, it is Holy.”
-E.C.

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Many people will ask every now and then….why don’t you priests, who have left the parish, convert to another religion?

Well everybody is free to answer that question according to his concience. There are no right or wrong answers. But surely one of the reasons which keeps us in the Catholic Church is the number of ecclesial documents which make us proud of our church! We studied, prayed and experienced the documents of the Second Vatican Council. Now we have this document by Pope Francis about the unique and rich area of the pan-amazonia.

It’s truly the true church which this pope is trying to make stronger. It is not simply a visit to this region. He wants to learn how they are successful in making the church a strong social element where others have failed (especially in Europe where churches are becoming similar to museums).

It is lead by the common people (women included which lead some to think that he is in favour of women priests). They do discuss many issues (mostly ecological but including justice). They decide which path to take. Finally they go for it! They are enlarging or putting under the religious discussion subjects which at first glance have nothing to do with religion. On the other hand it’s listening to what the people feel the need to discuss, which in the end is illuminated by the bible. It is the people’s church.

Unfortunately most journalists already missed the point by selecting one or two issues. It will be interesting to see how politicians are going to react to this document.

Surprisingly in many countries, nothing is heard of this document. We are referring to Catholic news agencies. As one commentator has commented, it seems that part of the church is boycotting Pope Francis!!

Let’s come to our part where it has given hope to many people that future priests maybe married. Well, it’s not simply that married priests are going to be part of the future and that’s it! The church has to become owned by the common people. The people have to show their fears, hopes, dreams etc… The communities have to become vibrant. Obviously, the communities are lead by couples. In this context, the couple which is animating the community, could be ordained a priest (referring to the man).

Introducing married priests in a church where the community is practically dead won’t bring about the necessary changes! Secondly, simply putting a married couple in a church where they don’t know the community and the community doesn’t know them, would be risking a lot.

We know that many people haven’t been to Amazonia or Latin America. One of the fundamental differences with Western Europe is that the spirit of community is so high! This is not only for the church but rather on every social level. It’s like the old life in our villages where everybody greeted each other and took care of each other.

The second reflection is that the church should be concerned with the environment. One because the environment is truly important (St. Francis had a long vision in this area notwithstanding living in the middle ages). This shows that the church is concerned with what the people experience. It’s not a study about religion with no reference to today! As one had said, one hand on the bible and one hand on the newspaper (referring to today’s concerns).

An interesting part is that of questions. I think it’s unheard of that the Vatican publishes questions in order to help all those discussing the theme! It’s another first for Pope Francis.

Readers have every right to access the document published by the vatican here.