Tag Archive: double life

When we were young we were submitted to various teachings. Most of the time, we read books. We tried to assimilate as much as we could. Then years passed by and somehow we re-connected to what teachers/parents/guardians had told us. Most probably what we’ve been thought was good. Yet in real life it seems that it is a different kind of fish. It’s what we call the gap between the theory and real life!

We were thought to look up to priests for friendship, counselling, ideas etc…Obviously in theory everything is in order. Yet each every human being is formed not only through teaching, but through personal experience, chemicals present in his genes etc…All this will make it highly improbable to foretell his future life as each person has a different outcome, which is based on millions of variables.

The first step is when one is asking for help. It brings the baptised person close to a priest. This is the work of the priest after all! But what happens when most of the priests feel all alone, neglected, alienated, disappointed and put aside? A normal kind of friendship (obviously there is nothing wrong), could be a tempting one for the priest. Instead of listening and comforting the person, the priest fulfils his needs for friendship, attention, love etc…within the counselling sessions. A counsellor has to listen to the client and not vice-versa, at least he can’t talk for a long period of time. The fact that the priest starts talking about his life means automatically that the sessions are taking a different path!

On the part of the person who is seeking the priest’s help, things start moving differently when they view the priest not as a counsellor but as the one who is fulfilling their dream of the ideal man! Obviously when one meets another person for a few hours weekly, it’s very easy to idolise that person! Remember that most people as viewed at work, might seem to be the ideal person. It’s when one lives with the person that one sees the complete picture! Yet, when one is hungry for love, recognition, attention and self affirmation, all other things will occupy a less important place in their lives! They just want to cling to somebody no matter what! It could be that we’re living in anonymous cities (Western part of the world), hence we desperately need friends!

We’ve been saying for quite some time now that priests who explain the word of God every Sunday (plus maybe other public meetings), are practically revealing their inner self to the general public. He is the one who speaks about a lot of values where no one speaks anymore (or at least not that often!). Speaking about such values will put more fire on a woman’s heart who is burning with desire to have a loving partner.

The priest in most cases, has all the time of the world to meet, listen and talk with parishioners. He is the one who makes his own timetable hence, he is easily available! The priest has no one to report to for his day to day running. Hence he can postpone last minute meetings without giving any real reason or hiding behind superficial reasons!

We don’t wish to give the message that it’s impossible, yet in the present circumstances, it’s getting more difficult to be a good friend to a priest. When a person is not complete (in many senses), it could lead to trouble, whether he is a priest, bishop, Pope, woman etc…In mathematics they used to teach us that a minus ( – ) with a minus ( – ), make a plus!

Our wish to have married priests will help the church to have a better system where priests are living in a relationship which will help them understand better the need for attention, love, affirmation etc…We’re not saying that it’s foolproof. There is nothing perfect. Yet on the human side of the argument, it will help them to be better prepared to work in today’s church.

Second Class Priests!

In the absence of love stories between priests and women, we are sharing our reflections regarding the latest news in the Catholic church.

In a March 2017 interview with German newspaper Die Zeit, Pope Francis used the term viri probati – in this context, religious married men of proven character – in saying he was open to the idea of a married priesthood, as is allowed for deacons, in remote areas where the priest shortage is particularly serious.

We are still not 100% sure of the outcome of married priests as we are still receiving conflicting news! Read this article

In any case it seems that all newspapers are agreeing that married priesthood is again in the news. Mulling all kind of news to look for positive news, we see some troubling ones. In the quoted statement made above, we have one single question: So are married priests just fillers? That is: are they being allowed as if they are necessary evil? Are they being allowed simply to fill in the blanks? Are we sort of second class priests who are allowed to work as priests simply because there is lack of?

Many people point to married priests because they think that will stop sexual abuse of children. People focus on sex because for news agencies it sells a lot of money! We do notice many priests who are living a solitary life. They are practically moving bodies but dead in their minds. Others who travel most of the time. Some who embrace luxuries. Others who are simply walking study books which amply shows the negative effects of forced celibacy. The list goes on and on.

Our main point of view has remained the same. Most of the apostles were married. Are we going to follow the bible or are we going against it? They do quote the bible profusely in other moral matters, yet about this one they are so silent! Why? If the apostles did it, why not the priests of today? Or are we like a supermarket: we pick up what we like in the church?!

Having married priests we hope it will bring the focus of the church on new challenges. One might be the complete overhaul of the relationship teaching (and not sex!). Strong and stable relationship calls for consequences which will help the priest to mature as he faces different challenges in life. One glaring example would be children. Taking care of your own children will bring a new insight in the life of the priest. Married priesthood will help the priest to reconnect with normal life with all its challenges. Consequently, the whole church will change. This is the revolution which we are looking forward to experience. In the end there will be winners all the way. All would feel much nearer to God. Everybody will experience the Emmanuel – God is with us! It would be interesting to visit a priest who has kids crying, eating and dirtying all the house whilst he is trying to communicate with God! It would be a good example of how to keep God in the centre of all activity!

It’s up to our readers to continue our reflection.

The double life of priests

Humans are bound to make mistakes. Not just once, but everyday! We fully acknowledge the fact that priests are humans. We never expect priests to be perfect. On the other hand we never want to make public priests’ sins. Yet sometimes one does seem to be surprised.

A week ago, a woman who has been following Christ for a long time, asked a pastor to be godmother to a young girl who was going to receive the confirmation. The girl has asked her to be a godmother because she saw her as a role model in her daily life. She was not part of her family! Imagine being chosen by somebody not because one is  part of his family but rather because one lives a Christian life…..a true witness to the gospel. How beautiful !

She was politely refused as she was still living with another man, without being married in a Catholic Church. Accidentally, she has left her first husband and asked for an annulment (declaration that there was never a marriage from a tribunal of the church). The annulment takes ages. She is expected to wait for the final answer….which might take forever, in the meantime her biological clock is fast ticking away….

On the other hand I happened to know the pastor and his lover…….whom he secretly meets at odd hours and has normal sex. He continues to celebrate mass and all the sacraments whilst he professes to be celibate…yet he denied another person to be a godmother……….because she was living in sin!! Can anyone please define the word hypocrisy, please ?

It’s not because the priest errs that we are astonished but rather how can a person be so insensitive and live a double life? Yes this is what happens every time a priest kisses, hugs intimately and makes love to a woman. These are the priests that tell others what to do! Yet in their own daily life, there are so many hidden secrets!

In most of the stories coming in about women who fall in love with a priest, it’s mostly the women who feel guilty and do a lot of thinking, reasoning, praying and discussion…the priests find an excuse for all actions! He is the one who continues to harass the woman in having sex and other illicit way of showing affection etc…..Why? Because he is used to a form of lying and being deceitful to the general population and parish. It’s their way of life. One has to live with priests in order to understand their way of life. Just examining how they go round the celibacy rule, makes one wonder why do we keep such rule at all!

The woman caught in this gambling game feels at a loss. She feels that she has already sinned. She feels that she has lost her innocence. Psychologically she is very weak. To add insult to injury, the priests would do everything to keep the mouth of their lover shut. In most parishes, if the woman talks, she would carry all the blame and the stigma of ‘prostitute’ or ‘priest’s lover’ would condemn her for life! In a few words, she is the one to blame!

We as married priests, have nothing to hide. We don’t play hide and seek. We proudly live with our woman. There are no secrets about it. Nobody can threaten us of telling higher authorities. We live and witness the gospel as in times of the apostles, were most of them were married. We don’t simply look to our woman for sex as we have our responsibilities too. We are parents 100% with all its consequences. We do not live in a protected area. We have to earn our living by working hard and not asking people to give us money!!

The priest who is supposed to ‘love’ his woman, is full of secrets. Secrets of this type are damaging because they are hiding information which should not be hidden! The priest is there to witness the gospel. How can he witness the good message when he himself is hiding his true self? Our opinion is that the biggest stumbling block is that he doesn’t want to take a stand and make a decision: I leave the parish to live with my woman. I would be a living testimony for my people. I would be a married priest.

Most of the women are passing through their first love experience with a priest….hence they believe that the priest is one day going to live with them…….hours become days…days become weeks……weeks become months…….finally months are translated into years. When will the woman realize that their priest is telling lies? A priest is not simply lying to this woman, but his life has become one whole, big and fat lie! It’s not just the celibacy rule but rather his whole life is a lie to the gospel he is supposed to witness to.

One of our objectives is to wake up most of the women who write to us, in order to realize that a hidden romantic relationship is something which should be avoided at all costs. There is no future. There are no dreams but rather broken promises. At the end the woman is going to realize that she has been taken for a ride her whole life. The emptiness and sense of a lost life is too tragic to describe. It puts the woman in hell as she would feel frustrated and used forever!

Today the 22nd of July is the feast of St. Mary Magdalene. She was put in a bad light for nearly 2000 years. Now we realize as we read the gospel that she showed special affection to Jesus. Jesus proved theologically that he had special relationship by visiting her after resurrection. She was the first person to see Jesus resurrected. This has profound theological meanings. Jesus chose her to be the first person to witness his new way of life after his bodily death! One shares such events with very special people! May the Church study and pray more in order to understand the true meaning of the gospel.