Tag Archive: falling in love with a priest

I am Petra, my friend/priest’s name is James. We first met in our place where he was invited to celebrate mass, since after that he was already close to our family. He even brought us to his hometown and met his family there, it was such an experience to be able to know him better as a person. Many days have passed; we were consistent in our communication like every day. If he wasn’t busy, he would call/text until we were actually seeing each other and when the time came he confessed his love for me. We secretly meet once every week. We went out at some private place where we were free to express our love to each other; we kissed, held hands and made love. Our relationship got deeper and my family had a suspicion of us being so close to each other.

There was a time that I forgot to log out my account on my laptop and left it on. I didn’t know that one of our family member tried to use it, and accidentally saw our conversation, including our pictures, and printed all of it as proof. I was unaware that they started to investigate my schedule every time I stepped out from our house and there was a parishioner as well who reported to my family when my priest was not around at the church, so they would trace us to see if we had met.

After what happened we’ve talked about it we both admitted that we felt guilty of what we had did; we lied to them just to have our own happiness without knowing that it would have hurt other people immensely; he told me that he was willing to sacrifice his love. He told me that we would have stayed as friends and nothing would have changed. At that time I thought that it was really over between us but fortunately, later on, he was sorry for things he had said to me because he was stressed and confused at that moment. We are still fighting for our relationship. It has been 2 months since we last met. We are not meeting just to avoid the issue for the meantime and I don’t know until when we are doing this.

I describe my family as religious and conservative type; I can obviously tell that they can’t accept him because of his status, his age (we have a big gap, he’s much older than me) and they don’t want to lessen their dignity as well. In our country priests here are highly respected people. They think that once a priest they can’t commit sin, they are not supposed to hang out with girls, they can’t enjoy, they can’t drink in public, etc. I don’t think it is a sin to marry a priest but in the eyes of the people it is already a sin.

As long as we love each other we can survive the upcoming circumstances, I am not afraid and ready of what people will be saying about us nor about me because I know what kind of situation am I into.

Sometimes I asked him about his plans if he would leave or continue. He has no answer yet but he was happy that we’ve come this far. He had mentioned the idea of having a business and sometimes he had mentioned that he wanted to have a family in the future. There are some cases where he’s having a problem on dealing with his superiors; based on my observation I don’t think he’s happy anymore. Well in fact he requested the higher official to give him a break from religious life but unfortunately they gave no feedback about his request, so it’s still pending.

Falling in love is not just for the young ones. Even falling in love with a priest is not always a story between a young priest and a young woman, as this story illustrates. This is Jacqueline who is sharing her story with all our readers. She is first telling her story. In the second part, I’ll ask her some questions.

I think I just have to share this story. I am still shocked by it. It goes like this: I met this new priest about four years ago. We clicked instantly. He is now 48 years and I am now fifty. I was never married because I never wanted to, however I was so attracted to this foreign priest who came to our isles. Yes we kissed but there was never any sexual relations because I believed I should not be the one to do that with a priest [old school thinking]. After four years into the friendship he was transferred to another parish. He still visited my home once a week. Eighteen months in this parish he called me to tell me that he was leaving the country because of a situation [a sexual relation with a seventeen years and nine months girl and to please forgive him]. He said he had ignored her several times but eventually one day it happened.

One month afterwards, the girl started calling him and telling him dirty things when he was seen speaking with other women. When he told her about it, the girl told her parents. The result was that the priest had to flee the country like a scared puppy, never to return. All the parents wanted was that he would leave the country. We were in contact every step of his journey and I knew his agony.

Parishioners never knew the true reason why he was leaving. However, from his religions order (eg Franciscans, Jesuits, Carmelites etc…), where I knew some priests, I was able to find out that the young girl took a ready made meal at times to the priest. On that fateful day, realising that the priest was intoxicated, she began stripping and a sexual relationship took place. One priest told me that she was a problem girl and that it was evident in her messages e.g are you f***ing her?

I told him that I loved him as he left. A few days later we spoke and he said that it was a real test for him. The girl sent him a message saying that she hated him because her parents now hated her. That was two days after he left. He never replied and he never heard from her again. As for me I was in shock for days and I realised that if he cannot be faithful to God he cannot be faithful to no one. He is many many miles away from me but we do still communicate.

Where did you meet?
I met him in my parish.

What is his character?
I found he was the humblest man I ever met.

What was happening in his spiritual life?
He was extremely lonely for all his relatives were abroad. He was quite spiritual but very realistic.

What do you really think about his relationship with an under age girl?
I found he drank a bit too much but he never drank alone. After drinking he may have said foolish things. He was from a country where girls marry at sixteen years of age. Like in his country, he thought that a minor was sixteen years and under. I understand the temptation of priests. A priest in his order confided the entire scenario of what happened that dreadful day and the fact that the girl stripped in his presence to me, she was out for him and it was premeditated.

Why do you keep communicating? Is there a future for your relationship?
The incident is still fresh in my mind, I still want to know that he is good. He asked my forgiveness so I bear no grudges and he is miles and miles away from me, so very soon the communication will dwindle and he will be a memory. Definitely there is no future for us but I wish for him to get counselling and stop the drinking and be a good priest again.

Now to our readers to start the discussion. Just to start the ball rolling, does a sexual relationship happen all of a sudden? Is a priest prepared for such situations?

Faith – Love – Celibacy

This week we have a general reflection by one of our readers – Anna. She has been a regular reader of our blog. She wishes to share her thoughts with the rest of the readers. We welcome all those who wish to write their opinion as we wish to make it your blog. In fact the last post has created a record of 106 messages! Well done to all our readers. We invite the new ones to overcome fear and share their story with the rest of the readers.

A man becomes a priest when surrounded by a religious environment that influences him to choose that specific religious pathway. Some are inspired by the life of saints or, while still in their early teens, pushed by their families to acquire a better education. The older generation thought that having a priest in the family gave them a better chance to get a good spot in heaven.

The young seminarians live and grow within a typical regimented spirit; going to Mass, to Holy Communion and the various piety practices just because all the others do so, too. Sometimes the spirit of devotion at that young age is reduced to the “must” of practice. As they grow a little older, they discover that the world is also populated by pretty girls. They start to have feelings, which they initially dismiss as wrong, evil thoughts for a seminarian heading to priesthood and a life of chastity, poverty and obedience.

Repression, however, is not a Christian behaviour. It is destructive and results in physical, psychological and emotional imbalances. The desire to approach a superior to confide a priest’s inner turmoil is often brushed aside with an “it will get better, don’t worry,” statement. The hierarchy makes communication inadequate because of defensive responses, distorted perceptions, mutual antagonisms and sometimes just raw ignorance. No wonder then, that many priests start wondering why their activity within the church has to be such a barren life and decide to leave.

The leadership of the church has always been in the hands of elderly males who repel anything new, different of what they have been used to follow for generations. They are terrified by any sort of reforms and, with rare exceptions, blindly reject any possibility to bring the archaic church laws and regulations up to date with the advanced realities of life on the planet earth and its society. They believe only in the things they want to believe. Yet, they are human and subject to the same sins they so fiercely condemn.

One of those sins is sexuality, which is portrayed by the church fathers as taboo, an evil to be avoided at all costs. Yet the root cause of most sinful or scandalous behaviour was the church’s policy on celibacy, which is considered by the medical establishment and a larger portion of the public opinion, including that of practising Catholics, as simply unhealthy, unnatural and damaging to the individual, physically, emotionally and psychologically. It serves no useful purpose and only did, and still does, generate much pain and suffering to healthy young and not so young men who are prevented from expressing their love for another human being and live happy and productive lives.

Celibacy should no longer be an imposition but a choice. Many priests find themselves in the position where they would love to share with a female soul their faith, their ministry or their missionary work. What is wrong with the church that it can do nothing more for the present inner conflicts, the exodus of clergy and the anguish this creates for thinking men within the church?

Most Catholics hope that the present Pope, Francis, will adjourn the celibacy issue and adapt it to the times we are living in. Whether he will succeed is questionable, being surrounded as he is, and pressured by an aging population of Cardinals, Bishops and Monsignors who are strongly resistant to change and therefore inflexible towards the needs of a newer generation of church workers, priests and missionaries.

It is important to point out that a priest leaving his status is not a delinquent Christian. In many cases he merely chose to live his Christian commitment in secular life. Not all leave due to the celibacy issue. Some feel that the original motivation leading to a decision to become a priest has not been fulfilled. Some leave the priesthood with a mixture of courage and uncertainty. To leave a structured situation that provides entirely for the logistics of living takes a great deal of strength. Many old thoughts and habits are to be shed and there is much new stuff to be learned. Help to re-establish him when leaving the ministry would be advisable, as most of his training and experience is not helpful in the lay world.

To some degree, priests are ignorant of practical matters of everyday life such as, how to approach an employment interview, where to buy clothes, how to live on earnings, how to build a social life, and that includes the emotional aspect when dealing with the opposite sex. He will need to know a little more than how to make love to a woman. He will need to get acquainted with a woman’s chemistry and all those things that up until then had been denied to him and kept from him to avoid the sinful temptation of the flesh.

Conversely, the woman that falls in love with a priest would need some sort of psychological and emotional introduction to his educational formation as they all have individual needs and a standardized procedure can definitely not be followed. It does take enormous courage on both sides to face the many, initial obstacles, and to build a strong, long-lasting happy relationship. Celibacy may no longer be part of their lives, but Faith and Love will prevail and remain.

Another priest goes cold

Hi, my name is June and ever since I’ve grown emotionally attracted to my parochial vicar at my church, things at my parish have never felt the same. Since our parochial vicar came in 2013, after his ordination, I knew I had found him attractive, but at this point in time, I didn’t really pay too much mind to it. As I started to work in ministries again, I got to see him more and as a result we grew closer. He began to know my name and face, and he would lit up like a kid with a cookie when he saw me but of course I kept things very formal.

It wasn’t until his mother died, that he began to grow more affectionate. Since he was gone for over 2 months, I generally began to miss his presence. It was sad to not see him around and it had always given something to look forward to. But since we are friends on Facebook, I would write him and show my support and he greatly acknowledged and appreciated that. When he returned,
I had a conversation with him about college and my overall fear of the future and he assured me all would be fine, and extended his arm out to me, and he allowed me to lay on his shoulder for quite some time. He kept saying how he knew I would do something good and how much I cared for people since he said I was very supportive to him when his mom had passed.

It was strange at first but it felt like two teenagers in love, smiling at each other outside and hugging in front of the parish office since I had been there for a night catechist dinner gathering. From there the interaction grew more affectionate, he would compliment me by telling me I was holy and perfect and a saint. He would hug me tightly when I went to say hello after mass or at an event. When I told him once how much he inspired me to become a better catholic, he hugged me instantly and said he loved me. I was stunned since I had feelings for him and only dreamed he’d say those words. But initially I said I love you too. For a spiritual appointment, we were together for over an hour and after we finished, he said he was proud of me and that he loved me, so when he stalked towards me in his office, he took me in his arms and hugged me tightly.

He kept telling me that it would be ok and laid his head on mine while we held onto each other for well over a minute. I, of course, was dumbfounded and didn’t know what to make of the situation. I knew it was wrong to like my parochial vicar but I had never met such a good hearted man. Later that same day, after mass I apologized to him for everything at the appointment and told him I loved him too, which his response was “I love you too”. And we would smile at each other while saying this, like little kids with a crush. From there on moving forward, I reached a point of insecurity of his feelings for me and began to go up to him at wrong times and be too comfortable talking to him about things.

One day he snapped at me, and I was completely hurt by it because he was always so sweet and never crossed. When I went to see him for reconciliation he told me that I needed to set boundaries and told me I wasn’t the centre of his universe. It confused me because I had never said that I was. During the confession, I said I was happy we were still friends and that he doesn’t hate me, in which his response was that he didn’t and that he was my priest. Which I said I know but I meant part of my parish family, and he once again said “I’m your priest”. The situation puzzled me why he all of a sudden was being so hostile. We didn’t hug any more, and I tried to not interact with him for any reason. I was incredibly hurt.

For some weeks after, I served as a greeter and he said hello to me and after mass, he said thank you for serving. I had always sent him cards for Easter and his birthday and so I did, and he thanked me for those but yet when I invited him to my birthday dinner he never came even though he told me he received the email. I found it strange because even though I’m young, doesn’t mean we couldn’t be friends. He’s only 30 and went to two birthday events in the past for a woman turning 40 who was married and works at the church, and a 75 year old birthday for a parishioner, so I wondered why he never showed up to mine. But back at church, when I brought a drawing of Jesus that I had made, he approached me and he admired it, saying it was beautiful and asking if i drew it. Which I said yes and he continued to look at it with awe. I don’t know if he ever had feelings for me and set boundaries in general or because of me, since he deactivated his Facebook, he only hand shakes people now instead of quick hugs, and doesn’t seem to do anything that doesn’t have to do with church.

I wonder what inspired the sudden change and it makes me wish I knew If he had ever meant anything he told me, it is possible to believe he still cares for me at all? Now it’s almost as if we’re still able to talk but it still feels awkward and I’m beginning to wonder how he sees me. Am I someone he still believes to be perfect and a blessing? Did he mean what he said when he told me I looked gracious in my dress while I served? Should I still that the friendship we once had can be saved? What should I do?

We expect our readers to share their experience, knowledge and spirituality in dealing with loving a priest with June. May God Bless you all!

There has been a growing consensus amongst our readers, that there are more disadvantages than advantages in having a deep relationship with a priest. This is what we like about our blog. This is something that was not planned, but active readers made an effort to discuss issues which are still being kept under the carpet in the Catholic Church.

Some are already starting to question the present Pope why this subject didn’t surface in any agenda. Obviously the present Pope is already giving a new image to the church, yet the change of optional celibacy should have been taken centuries ago. The more we wait for such decisions, the more harm is being done as witnessed by various readers. A growing number of priests are proving that they simply cannot live the celibacy vow. Others are showing signs of stress, psychological unbalance and other kind of ‘sickness’ or alienation.

One must admit that a priest woman relationship is not normal in the present church circumstances. One is walking a tight rope. Priests are in many cases NOT trained for adult relationships. Some are alienated with work, trips, expensive hotels etc…Others are transferred every now and then and so they have built a wall in order not to belong to anybody because they are afraid of getting hurt.

To make matters worse, in every parish there are some people whose job is simply to pester other people. They live in the attitude of better than thou or holier than the rest of the parishioners. They feel that God has given them the power to judge people. Most probably they feel that they know it all! These are the ones who report to higher authorities as soon as they see a jovial priest talking for some minutes with a woman, maybe in a public place such as the church’s parvis.

The Achilles heel of priests is that although they are used to solve people’s problems, yet they are not used to be in a normal battlefield, simply as baptised persons. In the church, most of the time they are inside a protected area, where they are at an advantage. They are respected as priests. They won’t do most of the normal jobs found in a normal life. They have a colony of people who are eager to prepare most of the common and simple jobs.

Another weak spot is that he is not used of being in a relationship. This makes him vulnerable! This could be the major reason they ran away or change to a ‘cold’ attitude. They realise that falling in love makes one vulnerable. They are used to be in command and not to be second in command!

It’s not all black. In a way, today with the help of the internet, one can keep a solid relationship without telling the whole word who your favourite priest is! Obviously like all tools, it has to be used in an intelligent way. In our blog we succeeded in getting to know personal stories and shared them with others. In this case the internet is helping the church to come to grips with the situation.

Please remember ALL priests next Maundy Thursday (24th March). Prayer is part and parcel of the church. Reading how frail and human our priests are, should move us to pray more and more for our priests. This is the cutting edge from others who have left the church. We should help them, bring about changes in the church, in order to work for and in a better church.

Let’s push for change

Somebody once said that the biggest sin in the world is when the so called ‘good people’ don’t do anything. On the other hand the so called ‘evil ones’ are doing work 24/7!

We wish to compare this thought to the Catholic Church today. Although we don’t want to use the term ‘good’ or ‘bad’ (referring to people), we wish to point out two different categories of people in the church.

There are those who guard the teaching of the church in jealous way, and they don’t let anyone interfere or change anything. Consequently the church is seen as a museum where change rarely happens. Everybody knows that this is false, yet these individuals continue walking the same road.

On the opposing fence, there are those who would like lots of changes, more frequently and on a bigger scale in the Catholic Church.

Whilst these two opposing groups are found in any church, corporation, business, family etc…in the Catholic Church it seems that the first group has been in power for too long. This has effected in a negative way the side of those who consider themselves ‘progressive’ or who dream of changes. Again we hate labelling but we need to use some terms in order to drive home our point.

In our experience, most people have left the church. This includes many priests as well. They have been waiting for too long to see any changes. In practical life, they have invented a spirituality of their own. They still connect to God. They still hold most of the Catholic principles. Yet they are without a community. In an evangelical way, they are the sheep without a shepherd!

Being responsible of this blog, we have realised, that many people agree on many issues. Yet the lack of community makes their effort useless. One cannot change anything in the world if one is not connected to a community. What will change if I stay in my house rumbling about the church? Most probably I would be having a negative view of the church and slowly but surely I would abandon all faith practice! This in turn would ruin my spirituality!

Running the blog made us realise that there many people out there who need support in order to make them realise that they are not on their own. Their falling in love with a priest is not the only one which happened in the church! Their thoughts are not unique because many others share the same point of view. In real life we feel running a parish! We are happy about this.

We are calling our readers to have a more active role. Some of them are already doing some sterling work by writing their opinion on our blog. We would like to invite them to go out and talk about married priesthood. We do believe in social media as the place where changes occur rapidly.

Why are we pointing to social media? Because the people who would accept these changes are not going to church any more! They are found elsewhere! But this leads to a new concept of the church. We have been used to listen and obey for too many years. We are adults in faith. We feel the need to talk about our faith in particular situations (such as when we fell in love with a priest).

This in turn is not outside religion because in the documents of Vatican II (a meeting for all Catholic bishops which took place between 1963-65), they brought about the biggest change in religion (many don’t know unfortunately). What was the change? It’s not applying rules to everyday life but rather create principles or teaching from everyday life! It’s not the above to down below application but rather from down below to high above! It’s not about obeying laws but seeing, touching, living with God in one’s personal and intimate way of life! God is already there, in one’s life, even though one feels as if living outside the gospel because of various reasons.

Now we do know that this teaching is not just two lines but it needs many more hours of teaching and coaching. But it is so vital so that people get to know that without attending church or any other similar meetings, they have been walking in line with the teaching of the church! One’s life has been the new temple where God loves to stay.

Why has this happened? Because they now longer attend church. There is no one to tell them what is the real teaching of church. They have remained closed in their spirituality with no contact with any believers at all. This has been one of our main objectives: to connect with many people who have left the church.

To come to a conclusion we have left the so called the ‘museum idea of the church’ to stay for too long. We don’t challenge their ideas. We are giving away the match without going on the field and give our very best! The so called ‘conservatives’ are winning because we are not fighting at all!

Let’s push our experience of God and our understanding of the church. We are on the footsteps of the apostles, who most of them were married. We don’t need to feel defeated, in shame, sinful or out of reach of God. We are the apostles of 2016!

We are not blameless

We are inviting readers to write the main article of the blog themselves. we wish to give our readers more power to express themselves especially in a matter where woman’s opinion count a lot. Please readers spend some time thinking about your experience and write it down on a paper (or electronically). This is the opinion of one of our readers. Thank you cupidisstupid21.

I have noticed on several blogs dealing with “women who love priests” that the women feel quite justified in placing all the blame for the problems with the relationships on the padres. It is my opinion that the priests only need to accept 100% responsibility for anything they do when one of the parties is not a consenting adult. Then there is a priest and a victim, morally and under the law in most of civilization.

The Roman Catholic Church is not kind to its ministers on the one hand. That same church disapproves of “disordered lifestyles”, such as homosexuality, but, when it comes right down to it—what lifestyle is more disordered or abnormal than the one required of a priest? Unless one is an asexual being or incapable of love, how can a man feel fulfilled living a lifetime without either? The seminarians, so idealistic at the outset, find they cannot in the long term. Where there is a void, one tends to fill it somehow. Some priests over-eat or abuse alcohol. And, yes, others indulge in covert sexual liaisons, some legal, some not. They view it as a “temptation” but are unable to resist because they are just men and not angels. Moreover, it must be expected that the priests have the need to love and be loved just like other human beings—even if the church furnishes their other needs and some really do live like kings.

If you felt that a priest was attracted to you and you made the first move by revealing your love for him in a clear manner, then you tapped into this profound need. Priests are busy, have plenty of responsibilities but, at the end of the day, they are lonely people. They have no one to comfort them, although there are those who feel obliged to tell them what to do, how to act. There is the bishop, the vicar general, and the spiritual advisor to whom the priest confesses. He is afraid to displease them all because they can voice their disapproval of him at best or strip him of everything he has at worst. It is understood that one really loves a man and not a priest but that doesn’t prevent one from creating a kind of “monster” when a woman confesses her love. Don’t forget that your priest may have been lonely, unfulfilled, longing for intimacy before he couldn’t resist taking you up on your offer to whatever extent—but he wasn’t conflicted. That began on the day you said “I love you”.

Perhaps he was already in love with you at the time or half-way there, but it was you who lifted the lid from the Pandora’s Box if you pushed the situation to what it became, essentially invited the priest to take advantage of your love for him. Now, if you have to deal with the demons that flew out of the box, don’t hold yourself blameless. Not if you started up with a man who didn’t consider himself free to be with you in the way that you would like him to be.

Even though I do not believe in the concept of a man being married to an institution, as some would describe a priest’s circumstances, starting up with a priest is very like embarking on an affair with a married man. Unless one is in an actual prison, freedom is mostly a state of mind. Whatever they do or don’t do, these men do not consider themselves free and available. The choices put before them will not be without consequences, some quite severe. Added to that, many of the cases of the women who love priests that I have come across involve females who are perhaps separated but still legally married and certainly married in the eyes of the church! Some even consider themselves married but are not averse to having an affair with a priest. They still complain if the priest holds them at arms length! Presumably, these women want everything from everybody and are not viewing matters in a clear fashion. In ballroom dancing, it takes two to tango and in life, as well. Responsibility is something that is best off shared.

A woman loves a priest-writer

This week, we have another reader who voluntarily wrote her experience about a priest. He is a writer too. Readers are most welcome to ask questions.

Where did you meet?

My name is Sabine. My priest’s name is Ivan. I first saw my priest one Christmas day, maybe about 3 years ago. My husband at that time was doing some kind of work for him. It wasn’t love at first sight or anything like it. My priest is a writer. He had just published a book and gave a copy to my husband. I read it over Christmas 2013.

What attracted you to this priest?

His writing was so deep, so beautiful. I was deeply drawn to him from that point. I tried to get to know him, but he was very guarded around me. His mother died and I called him and sent him a card to offer support. He opened up a little. Following this, our connection just grew.

How did your relationship develop from that point onwards?

At mass the connection between us was so strong he was struggling to hide it. Two years after we met, my marriage broke up and he was counselling me for a while. What is between us is unspoken. However I feel it’s stronger on my behalf. The last time I met him, it was a heavy session around the marriage break up and it was a difficult session. I also got a little bit closer to him that day. He told me his age etc…

Does he run away or make himself unavailable sometimes?

Following this, he pulled away from me. He never answered my last email and he is blowing hot and cold. Laughing out loud with other parishioners when I’m around and ignoring me. It’s very painful. I love him deeply. I have no idea how he feels about me but there is a strong connection between us. I don’t know if this is the end. I would like to think it’s not.

My name is Mary. My priest is Joe. I’m answering questions written by Rev Daniel.

Where did you meet?

l met him at my parish when he came to teach us music. We were preparing to record our album as a youth group, actually he was our producer.

What made him so attractive?

His voice attracted me because when he’s singing he’s so sweet!

How is he as a man?

He’s very good. I can’t even compare him with my boyfriend..he’s too good.

Who was the first to show any signs of affection?

He was the first to show signs of affection. He asked for my number indirectly, not knowingly. Looking back it seems that he had an agenda. In fact he started calling me many times and taking more than an hour for each call. He was telling me sweet things and how beautiful l was.

How did your relationship develop from that point onwards?

The relationship developed to an extent that l couldn’t go a day without talking to him, l felt loved when l was with him.

How many times did you meet?

We used to meet four times per week. l usually went to his place during the day or even spend the whole night with him, but now l have relocated, but l visit him whenever l have the chance.

Are you intimate with your priest?

Oh yes we are!

What makes you mad about this priest?

He’s so romantic and sweet. He’s just too good.

Does he run away or make himself unavailable sometimes?


Does your relationship have a future?

I don’t think it has a future because at one point l got pregnant and he asked me to abort. He said that his job doesn’t allow him to have kids!

How does he judge your relationship?

He’s so jealous, he doesn’t want me to have any kind of relationship with any another man.

Aren’t you afraid that one day, somebody will discover your relationship?

Some people know and some they suspect that there is something going on between the two of us. But the most painful thing is that I’m not the only woman for him because I have seen used condoms in his house. Unfortunately l find myself going back to him. He was the first man l slept with…in other words he took my virginity…l do love him but I wish he could marry me.

Dear readers, it’s up to you now to make our blog very lively by your comments, questions and writings!

We are meeting another woman who got to know a priest. Can you please introduce yourself?

I am Sharon and my priest’s name is Ignatius.

Can give us some more details about the first time you met?

We met when he got transferred to be our priest. I was in charge of youth programs.

What attracted you to his personality?

He had nothing special but he got interested into my projects but had never gotten involved into community work. I mentored him all through and we started working together. At times him running my project errands when I am at work because l have a full time job. In whenever he had functions, l would coordinate the activities on the ground during preparations and he takes care of the mass.

What made you assume that he had feelings for you?

He told me one evening on phone that he had fallen for me and wanted the relationship to move to the next level. I turned him down several times. One day, we were working on a big ordination for 20 priests. As usual we coordinated this together. Visitors were many and we didn’t have so many rooms. We gave out my room and there was no option. We shared one room for 3 days. One bed but he didn’t touch me. He respected me. After that, every time we worked on such project we could sleep on one bed. We did this several times without even moving next to each other. I trusted him. But one day he did and we had sex. The following day we broke up. But later, he apologised and we went back to our friendship. But after sometime l couldn’t resist him. He is charming, respects my opinion and is always there for me when l need him.

What do you call your relationship?

At the moment, we have been like lovers for a while and working together at the same time. Its not been a bed of roses.  We do argue and shout at one another like any other couple.  We do separate at times  and make out again. There are times we spend at my place, at times at his place, at times we take time off and go for holidays.

Were there any intimate moments?

There were many. Things have just slowed down and l feel its time to move on. He no longer calls. This holiday, he didn’t create any time for me. I am so disappointed and l think all of a sudden something is wrong. We haven’t talked about it but l think it is time to leave. I am not hurt because l didn’t expect much. Plus l know l have a modelled a man to become who he is. I enjoyed the moment he was in my life and am grateful for this. I have learnt a lot from him about men and love. More so he has taught me how to be patient with men.

What is the way forward?

I am looking for a chance to discuss this with him. I have made up my mind and l think its the right time to move on. If he agrees we can continue working together but l will slow down on this to pull us apart. It’s not easy on me either and I am aware that it’s a tough challenge waiting for me.

What do you think about priests vs women relationships?

l still don’t know what can be done about such relationships but l feel the catholic church does not have structures in place yet to support married priests. I miss him though and will miss him but l don’t think l am ready to have him leave the church for me. In that case then it’s me who has to leave this relationship.

Thank you Sharon for your time and for sharing your intimate story with our readers. May God Bless you! Readers are invited to comment. This is your blog so we are very eager to have your opinion on board!


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