Tag Archive: falling in love with a priest


There are several ways of how to control people. In the church there has been a very common one : creating a strong sense of guilt. Most people, even if they leave the church, deep down in their hearts there would remain a lurking sense of guilt. In history, there have been several people who opposed the church, yet during their last moments of life on earth, they simply surrendered and gave all property and riches to the church in order to redeem their soul!

The sense of guilt has been built not in one single moment. It has been going on for centuries. The Catholic church has for many centuries, did not build a conscience for adults, but rather a set of directions of what to do and what not to do. It’s no surprise that the recent letter by the Pope has confounded some Catholics. In simple words, they assume that the church should say what’s black and white. Incidentally Pope Francis mentioned the grey colour!! They find it hard now that the present Pope is letting them decide. Most probably it is for the first time in the history of the church that the adults in faith are being treated as adults. They examine their own conscience, listen to God’s voice and decide!

Parents understand it perfectly well, because at one time, one’s child, is going to decide about something which one does not agree to. At one moment, one knows and understands that the child is no longer a child but a fully grown man or woman. He/she now has a different opinion and might make choices which are not according to what parents dictate! It’s the same process which is happening in the church today. Pope Francis is really bringing a revolution without any blood being shed or terrible fights (including that of discussion!!).

One of the main ideas of the so called ‘conservatives’ (ie those who are in favour of the black and white mentality and who won’t accept any exception at all), is that they see the others as sinners. Jesus the shepherd gives us the idea that if he looses one, he goes out of his way to find it. When he finds it, he makes a feast! Are we looking for the so called the ‘missing ones’?

How about walking in their boots for one day? How would we see reality? How would one see the church? The advantage of being a married priest is that people, knowingly or unknowingly feel more at ease to discuss matrimonial challenges. We have been living this kind of theology (ie starting from experience and NOT from some medieval teaching) for many years now (much before the latest letter from the Pope).

But let’s focus on the fact of a women falling in love with a priest. We have been insisting for many years now that falling in love is not simply a button to be pressed at will. It can happen to everybody, saints and sinners and all!

Women and men meet at a certain date. It could be a casual encounter or one which leaves deep imprints. Whatever happens, we do believe that God is speaking to both persons. It’s not fair and just simply to tell any one of them to forget and go away. After all we preach and say that God is love! So why when love is round the corner we simply give it another name: temptation?

Obviously we are not referring to a passing crisis or infatuation. We have in mind several couples who although they stayed far away from each other with no contact for a long time, they both discovered that they have to share their journey of life together!

I’ve been asked several times to assist such couples which I happily do. Yet it doesn’t mean that I have to decide. It’s the couple who need to take such decision. We can only help them mature and make a sound decision whilst taking into consideration several challenges and trials. Indirectly we are breaking the sense of guilt that many priests who love their woman (and vice-versa), feel. Obviously we don’t expect to break this sense of guilt immediately after so many centuries of pure brain washing. Yet we are confident that no wall cannot be broken down to single stones to let people discover new areas of teaching in the church.

Our woman today is Dorothy. She was a former nun who became a policewoman (cop). She fell in love with a handsome and intelligent man (got his PhD), who happened to be a priest too. It seems that he presented himself as a priest who had left…but actually reading official documents, he didn’t leave at all. Like some other priests he wanted to have the best of both worlds: the married life and the celibate life!

This does not mean that all priests are like him. Some of the priests turn out to be wonderful fathers. Yet there is always a slight possibility that a priest is luring a woman for sex and just to have fun. It’s up to the mind of the woman to make sure that the priest is not playing at all. We are all in favour of married priests. Married means to stick to one woman and to take responsibility for one’s actions. We are NOT in favour of priests who just go around and use women for their own egoistic needs.

Where did you meet?

We met in Eldoret in 2005 at a convent where I was was being inculcated into sisterhood. Then based in Spain, Fr Oure had visited the convent on official assignment. The priest, however, showed interest on the first encounter.

What did he tell you when you met?

He lied to me about his exact role in church. Fr Oure would then make frequent visits to the nunnery, where he made sexual advances towards me.

When did you get married?

We married when I was 32 years old and he was 49, in December 2013, but we started experiencing problems barely three months into their marriage. He is a serial womaniser and his constant infidelity is the reason for our constant fights before we parted ways recently. I caught my husband in bed with another woman in our house in Nakuru’s Kasarani estate!

Do you have children?

Yes we have one son but I had miscarriage of our second child as this was caused by physical abuse by Fr Oure. He became so angry when I caught him on our matrimonial bed
with a prostitute!

What do you have in mind now?

I want to sue the church for damages as his order says that he is still ‘in’ the church.

Now for fairness sake, the priest is presenting a different version of facts but he didn’t deny sleeping with other women! So indirectly he had admitted to not being faithful. Like some other priests, he is not interested in marriage but in a concubine, where secretly he can have sex as much as he wants to! One can see the original article at: Article

Reading and reflecting through our readers comments, views, spirituality etc…sometimes one gets the idea that because we are baptised, we should have an easy life!

Our Catholic sign is the Cross. We were never promised a rose garden! Psychologically and spiritually we should prepare ourselves for challenges 24/7. We have to convince a lot of people because the Catholic Church is composed of more than 1 billion people. Not everybody sees the urgency in calling for married priesthood! Not everybody agrees with our ideas. Shall we drop our ‘fighting’ spirit? Shall we enclose ourselves in our small world? No way!

We are sure that we are on the right track because finally the Pope is pushing forward the same ideas! That means a lot in at least giving us credit that we are not damaging the church! In every parish there is the urgent need of more priests. Why? Because priests are what cement is to building blogs, they serve to build the sense of a spiritual community. Although we are calling all laity to become truly adult in faith (actively participating in the parish), priest are always needed as they the ones who can confess and celebrate the unique sacrament of the Eucharist.

Besides, the priest can visit many families to bring God’s news. The priest has to preach and teach the people of God not only about God himself but rather bring the latest teaching of the church to the common people. It’s not a joke because there is a lot of ignorance outside the parish about God, the church and its rules etc….

The latest news from Ireland seems that the bishops are NOT going to take the Pope’s invitation and ask about priests to be allowed to get married! Well, it’s not the end of the story. We urge all our readers from Ireland (and non-Irish readers) to write to the bishops to urge them change their mind. We need active readers who are not afraid of challenges. You can write directly to the Irish bishops here!

On the other hand, on a different subject but regarding another hot potato for bishops, Maltese bishops surprised everyone about their attitude when dealing with remarried people. The Maltese bishops were bold enough to take the first step instead of waiting to see what others might do. They interpreted the Pope’s letter to the world called, Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love). If one needs to read the Pope’s original document, one can go here.

So please don’t lose faith! Let’s keep going. Let’s keep talking and discussing with other people. A married priest is nearer to the common people. All that he does, shows his commitment to his family. He is not a loner, he is accompanied by a family. He cannot forget about what other people are passing through because he has his own kids who are facing all the challenges of the common people.

The news is out…Brazil may soon have married priests. Who said so? It’s a famous theologian with the name of Leonardo Boff. He was once a member of the Franciscan order, as he left the order some years ago. He fits our description of priest really well.

How does he know about all this? Because he knows that the Brazilian bishops have explicitly asked for married priests. The pope wants to introduce married priesthood. Brazil maybe the country to experiment, sort of like a pilot experiment.

Boff boasts of having helped Pope Francis with his environmental encyclical, “Laudato Si’, on Care for Our Common Home.”! So it all shows that Boff is being welcomed once again to the official church.

An important comment was: will he work once again as a priest? Boff answered (as we have been constantly harping), there is no need, because he continued to help with the building of the basic communities, including the administration of the sacraments! In other words, once a priest, always a priest!

What does it mean for all of us? First of all, it shows that we were right from the very first step to insist on married priesthood. It wasn’t a sin or in theological words anathema! We were not outside the biblical basis. Our reasoning has a biblical basis which is a very strong point when dealing with arguments in theology.

Now the final practical part. When will it happen in your country? That is the question that we cannot give a definite answer. But instead of rushing, Pope Francis has shown the hand of a true father who does not wish to make his children run. He wants to give some time before it is introduced, so that many Catholics may come to terms with it. Now this is the most interesting part because most church goers have already accepted the idea of married priesthood! So it’s not too far away from making it happen in the whole church.

In the meantime, let’s not stand with our hands still and doing nothing. Let’s start talking, writing, communicating with other members in order to help Pope Francis in bringing over such change. If one does not feel comfortable in his community…there is the internet. It’s so huge and vast. One can go elsewhere to give the news and stimulate discussion. Although the best solution would be to speak with your own community. This means not imposing or shutting up people who do not agree but rather speaking calmly but surely about the beauty of married priesthood.

The Pope cannot do changes all alone. True leaders wait for the people in order to walk together. If we don’t make our move, it might be fatal. Let’s shout from our roofs’, balconies etc…..Let’s have priests like the biblical ones…..married and very close to Jesus!

The original article can be found here.

One of the most important aspects of this blog, is that women are giving a wonderful insight about falling in love with a priest. They are showing a new kind of theology, one that speaks from the heart. One that starts from real experience.

On the other hand, we feel responsible to provide the missing link….how the priest thinks, behaves and decides. What makes a priest decide to stay?

Is it a spiritual reason? In very few cases yes. The priest believes that his love affair was something that brought about a big change in his life but it encouraged him to tune in or invest, in a better relationship with God, the church and in the case of a religious priest, to lighten up his fraternity.

In most cases, though, we believe that other reasons hold the priest on a ‘ransom’.

One of the most common reasons is that of brain washing. The priest has been bombarded with the same message for years. How can he now let go of all of it? It’s still a common culture in seminaries (place where priests are trained), to keep some distance from women; to take extra care; don’t give too much personal attention; don’t show too much interest; some are outright and very explicit against women that they see them as ‘devils’……..

The fact that a priest finds some time to talk to a woman outside the priest-penitent relationship, might already make him feel guilty! The concept of ‘sin’ is carved inside the skin of a priest and it may play havoc with a relationship. Excommunication is another word which has lost meaning for today’s world but NOT for the priest. He might be excommunicated (send off, he won’t be part of the church officially) if he marries a woman without dispensation (permit from the Pope). All this forms part of a legal framework which many women find hard to understand, let alone digest. Now applying for a dispensation may become a nightmare for the priest as they ask so many intimate questions (and against human rights), that makes him feel like an ant…..in other words it’s like a rape.

The hidden message is that if one wants to get out, he has to bare it all, or it’s like putting the soul in the nude. Some people think that God’s judgement won’t be that harsh or that deep!! The worst of all is that the priest has to admit that he has fallen and cannot live the gospel! The official words would be: from priesthood he is to be reduced to the lay (ie means not a priest and neither a religious person who lives in a monastery) state!!!

All of this creates a barrier for the priest to decide. It makes it practically impossible to leave.

He’s used to speak to a crowd but not to a one to one relationship. He’s used to have a ‘platform’ ie to speak with authority. How can he make himself vulnerable to a woman? He is caught unawares falling in love, because he feels so uncomfortable in a relationship. Normally he sees many people but nobody stays with him to get to know him so well.
Another big hurdle is that of the safety net within the church where he receives money plus lots of benefits (including retirement). If he goes out, most of his ecclesiastical certificates count to nothing (unless a good job counsellor teaches him how to translate his skills into a normal job vocabulary).

In most cases he needs a place to live…maybe the present one is in the parish or where people have known him as a priest in a parish…..now the same people look at him differently!!! In other words he needs to move out and most probably he needs help to sell his apartment and buys another one. In the case of the religious priest, in most cases he doesn’t have money at all to buy basic necessities, let alone an apartment!!!! So it makes it 100% impossible to leave.

The priest as an unmarried priest relies heavily on his family. What does his family say? Can he go against them if they don’t agree? Most probably his family understands his decision. They can’t see him suffer anymore…..but what is the problem? They can’t face the people because they are going to be victims too (this could be the major reason why they don’t side with him!!!), which brings us to the gossip problem.

The hear say or the gossip reason, is the one which the priest preached against, now is one of the major reasons why it makes his life so miserable. It’s not only him but her as well. She might be easily slandered and nicknamed unchristian names!!! It’s so hard for a public figure to make that change. Most woman don’t understand the public role a priest has. Everybody looks up to him. Now the column of the town has left…..most people don’t like uncertainty and consequently they make the priest pay heavily for that. Other people have confessed crimes etc….now they see him holding hands…..they might feel vulnerable and crossing unchartered waters.

These are only some of the reasons. We leave the rest to our intelligent and God seeking readers to explain more fully and to write about other reasons too. May God Bless you all! You have given birth to a new theology, one that makes God incarnated (born of flesh) into our unique and personal lives. Happy Christmas to all!

An invisible Priest

We’ve had a record number of responses from our readers to our latest article. We’ve been waiting for a long time to read the message of a priest who is deciding whether to leave the parish and join his woman, or abandon her, and continue with the work in the parish. We wish to say a big thank you to all our readers.

Well some of the readers did not agree with the latest posting. I did leave their message online in order to have a blog which is nearer the truth rather than have one which is all positive and everything is fine. Well the priest who leaves the parish in order to marry, makes a bold statement whether he is conscious of it or not. Now some parishioners are not prepared to handle the truth.

We remember ourselves passing through some of the streets of our town (we live on a very small island!!). Some people just looked the other way. I was shocked at first but with some counselling I realised that they couldn’t handle our new situation. Some of them were embarrassed because they had come to confession and they had ‘emptied their sack’ (as an old saying goes), full of shocking secrets. It happened to our Lord Jesus Christ when he was resurrected. He was the same person, yet nobody was prepared to handle his new situation. In fact, at first, they didn’t recognize Him!

Some of our regular readers were shocked at first by the response of a few of them. Well not all people are going to be happy that Patrick and Michelle are going to get married. Indirectly they are saying: if a priest leaves, I feel at a loss because I’m used to certainties, dogma, truths. Now everything is upside down and I can’t control the situation anymore! So I panick and protest and put all my anger on to such a lovely couple!!

On the other hand, many more people will be happy for both of them. There will be many people who will come forward and understand their challenges and help them. It’s a test time to see who the real friends are…..!!!! Patrick and Michelle, you’re going to be surprised for sure!

One of the most incredible surprises was my late mum who was a priest lover (in the right sense). When I told her some of the true stories about what happens on the inside of the human church she surprised me with a unique response: If I knew about what you were experiencing, I would have come for you, prepared your bags, and took you home! A devout or traditional mum obeys the church…..yet she has a heart which understands what other human beings do not understand!

Other couples were happy because they knew that as a married couple, we were in a better position to understand and minister to them. And this was another surprise for us. We never thought of working again in the church (I would scare people away, one parish priest told me!!), yet the new community was forming in a lovely and surprising manner. One is this huge following on the internet. The other are the true friends who ask me for the sacraments plus spiritual help because they truly believe that once a priest always a priest. At the beginning I was at the point of refusing. But one of them, who knows well the laws of the church, quoted one law which says that a priest cannot refuse a person who is asking for spiritual help (sacramental or not)!

To cut a long story short, I thought that once I leave the parish, I would pack my priestly things and I would have never used them again….yet God has some surprises along the way. Obviously we are not forcing anyone to follow this path. Most married priests refuse to do any work connected with the church. We do respect their decision. We are not here to judge anybody. We do pray for them and for their well being so they’ll live happily ever after.

Incredibly now we are meeting with the real people (most of the church goers, because of various reasons, do not represent the rest of the population). They speak to us honestly. We do not speak from high above (the pulpit [raised stand for preachers in a church]). We speak from our honest experience too. Now we realise that the church is alienated from the real world. We see that we need to help more people. In this phase we can help more because they see us as a normal couple who is facing normal challenges. Surprisingly, they find that the married priest is more available then the so called unmarried priest!!!

May God bless you all!

Finally…..we have a priest admitting of falling in love. So many female readers have asked for a priest to tell his point of view of falling in love. How does a priest feel, falling in love with a woman? Well today you should be so happy as one priest is prepared to spill all the beans about his love story with this wonderful woman. Enjoy your reading!

It is so heartbreaking reading all these messages from broken hearted women in these difficult circumstances. I am Patrick, a 43 yr old catholic priest.. I was ordained at 24 years of age so I am 19 years in the priesthood.

Naturally being human I have felt attracted to different women in my life. That is normal enough even for a celibate. But my difficulty arose 3 years ago when I met Michelle, a 32 yr old single woman at a parish meeting. She had difficulties in her life and we talked privately for a long time. After the meeting ended, I felt so at ease and at peace in her company and for both of us I think we realized that there was some bond or chemistry between us that night.

Anyway we kept in touch mainly by phone for a while and than we agreed to meet mainly to discuss her difficulties which have now been overcome. We enjoyed each others company so much that we kept in touch by phone and meetings even when there was nothing to discuss at a professional level. At this stage we had developed a good friendship which I had no difficulty with as it was within the boundaries of my celibacy commitment.

Unknown to myself this friendship was growing over time and I was blind to it or maybe subconsciously I knew it but needed her companionship and friendship. For her too, Michelle is her name the relationship meant a lot and in her own words transformed her life. She was a broken person when I met her first but now felt whole and complete in herself. This all began 3 years ago, but my difficulty is that in the last year or so the friendship grew into a fully intimate and sexual relationship.

The first time that happened I was taken unaware, one thing followed another and almost unknown to myself I was making love to her for the first time. I experienced the normal fulfilment and excitement that goes with that experience but also I was gripped with awful guilt with the realization that I had broken my celibacy vows. This is still a struggle for me.

During the last year the relationship has continued in full and has grown and developed in every aspect. I feel I have no control over my feelings or where this is leading me.

Obviously I am now at the stage where I have a dilemma on my hands. The relationship cannot continue as it is indefinitely with me in my current life. Do I walk away from Michelle once and for all or do I leave the priesthood and marry her make a new life with her?

Currently we have decided on a 3 month break to help me decide. Michelle has declared her love for me and asked me to leave on a few occasions. I finally promised her I would decide during this break of 3 months, two months of which have already passed. We still email and phone each other but will not meet until the time is up, around Christmas.

I miss her company so much and long to be with her. A sense of loneliness has grown in my life over the course of the relationship as I know now the sacrifice involved in celibacy. I have changed as a person as a result of my relationship, falling in love does change you in a good way. I certainly do not want Michelle to be hurt like many of the women on this blog. If I thought that would happen I would definitely leave the ministry, if you love someone you cannot allow them to be hurt.

Yes in all honesty I am drawn to leave, to life and family with Michelle. I have done 9 sessions of counselling with a lady psychologist and that process is also leading me towards a decision to leave. I admitted this to my therapist in my last session and it was such a relief. She is helping me to process that thought in the coming sessions to a stage where I can own and implement my decision.

What is preventing me? Well I am torn in conflict between the part of me that says I need to move on. I have outgrown celibate priesthood. I need a human relationship with a woman who is Michelle in my case. I love her and want to be with her and she feels the same. Than the other voice says you made commitments for life: you took vows, you owe it to God, the church, your parishioners and your family. This is my dilemma.

I feel I have known the answer for a long time, almost from when I met Michelle, my counselling is leading me to the same answer, but this other voice and guilt feelings still get on top of me at times. I need help to have the courage to do the right thing for me and Michelle over the next 1 month or so.

Readers….it’s your turn. Let’s help our priest is making the right decision. Now you can ask as many questions as you want to!

Hello my name is Jackie. I met my priest (Maximilian) last 2009. I was a freshmen student back then. We had a project in our Religious Education subject, a church involvement where we had to render some hours in serving/ helping in a church. He was the parish priest of the church that time. I was with a group of five, all girls. That’s the first time we met. After that day, I never got the chance to see him even if he was a professor in that same university I am studying with. 

It was in 2010 when my classmates, who were my group mates on the project , had planned to visit him and thank him in allowing us to do our project in his parish. That was when our communication started. Days before our scheduled visit to him, I had my facebook status of the lyrics of a song just changing the word “girl” to “boy”. This is my exact status: Don’t love me for fun boy, Let me be the one boy, Love me for a reason, Let the reason be love… I had no other intentions but to tell boys to love all the girls they’re in relationship with. However he liked my status and left a comment that he likes the way I changed “girl” to “boy”. He also said that it was one of his favorite songs before. So I teased him that he might remember someone which made him relate with the song and I asked him to tell the story. He said that it was so many years ago already. He also said that before, whenever he hears the song he would remember that someone. But now, whenever he hears the song, it’s me he’s going to remember. So I asked him to sing the song during our visit to him and he accepted and started practicing there and then. I felt happy but honestly I never felt anything special because I never thought of anything more because for me it was just a friendly conversation. 

On the day of our visit, we shared many stories. My group mates and his companions in the convent sang many songs. I am not a good singer and I am a very shy person so I never had plans of singing and I never sang at all. But he kept his promise. He sang the song for me, not only once but many times. I felt somehow special but still no malice at all. 
After that day, we communicated more often. Another party was held and some of the professors in our school including one of our professor before were present. We had fun the whole night. He even accompanied me and my classmates home (whenever he invites us, it’s not only me but our group who happened to be my classmates and friends). When I arrived home, I texted him thanking him for inviting us and for accompanying me and my friends home. He did not reply so I got worried because he was drunk when he drove us home. He answered my call and said that he was driving when I texted so he wasn’t able to answer. I asked him why it took him so long to reach his house and he said that he already arrived at their house few minutes ago however he and his companion had some misunderstanding so he decided to leave and go to his brother’s house who happened to live very far from his place. But because I called, he said that he learned that he left his driver’s license so he’s not going to push through with his plans of going to his brother and just talk to me over the phone instead. He thanked me and said that I was his angel because if I didn’t call him he might be driving without noticing that his license was not there. We talked for a while until he decided to go home. When he arrived home, he called again and we talked until the wee hours. He calls me by my name and I really don’t like people who call my name. I always ask them to call me by my nickname and I told him that. But with my surprise he called me by my nickname with “my”. Like for example my nickname is Pretty. He called me “nkyPretty”. He even asked me if I got a crush on him and I answered him no. Because honestly that was the truth at that time. 

That was a turning point because we started to chat, to text and to talk over the phone very much often than before. One time, my professor who happened to be his friend asked him to go out and have some drinks. To his surprise, that professor asked him to go out because he wanted to ask my priest to help him with me. They talked many things and after their session, he called me and told me about it. However he did not tell me everything over the call. Instead he sent me a message in facebook. He said that when the time the professor confessed to him about his feelings for me, he also thought of how he feels for me. That’s the time I got aware that there was something more between us. He said that I am special to him and that he is happy because of me. So that was when I started to think about everything that happened and that was happening. That’s the time that we both said that we treat each other special. That started that whenever he invited us on a party he I would always be the last that he would drive home because we would go to other place first have some coffees and talk some more (usually parties were held because of Birthdays of his companions in the convent). We can only do that whenever there is a party. However there came a time that even if there is no party, we agreed to go out. That’s the first the he held my hands. I felt kilig. That started our hang outs together. But we never kissed. We never hugged. Just holding hands. 

Since then, we texted more often because that was our way of conversation. Less calls but more texts. However, by the end of 2013 to early 2014 I felt that our communication became infrequent. We didn’t see each other that often, I had lesser calls from him. He would only call whenever I would ask him to. I would always understand him because those were the times that he was sent to other parish without good reasons and that he felt it was unfair for him many factors made him different. He was not the joyful person I met. He got angry easily, he got irritated just for simple reasons and he became less sweet than before. I felt that something has really changed but I never told him about how I felt.

One day, my friends and I met in one of my friends house. We drank and had conversations until one of them asked me if I had something to tell/ share to them. I had no idea of what they were talking about until one them told me that they know that there is something going on between me and my priest. I had no excuse so I told them everything. They asked me what was my plan. So I told them that I really don’t know, maybe stop the relationship that we have. My struggle that time was that I didn’t know what kind of relationship we really had. So after that, when I arrived home I texted him about what happened. He decided to meet me and talk about the real thing between us. But that night, he said that we would have a a platonic relationship. Not just an ordinary one, but something deeper and more special.

We met in a restaurant. We talked with both of us having our own printed research about platonic relationship. He discussed more and I just listened a lot. He told me that the platonic relationship that we have is not like the ordinary meaning of that of Plato. Something that is deeper and more spiritual. He said that we were not committed. That if ever we go beyond that romantic relationship we might be like his priest friends who made wrong decisions because instead of making their relationship better, it became worse. Because of people’s acceptance and many more factors. He also said that whenever I choose to get into a relationship I can do it anytime. That he doesn’t have the right to get angry, jealous etc.. I felt sad and I was hurt because I felt like it was very easy for him to say all that. We finished our conversation right away because he had prior important commitments which gave us limited time to talk. However we agreed that we have talked what our agenda was and that everything was clear. Honestly, I had so many questions that I wasn’t able to ask. And until now, I didn’t give a try to ask. 

I believe that what I am feeling for him is true love. I already told him about someone I had  relationship with when I was in high school but don’t consider it as first love. Puppy love maybe because I was very young that time. I was only able to learn/feel what true love is, that was how I feel for him. I love him dearly. He is the only person who opened my heart into extreme emotions. An emotion of extreme happiness and sadness. 

The problem now is that since the day I felt our relationship dropped. Less communication, less stories, less conversation. Just good morning and good night. I want to tell him how I feel. Almost five years of relationship and until now, I still can’t tell him I love him. I want to tell him that. This might give me a big relief but I am not certain of what will happen next. I am already exploding inside. He may not have any idea of what I am feeling and this might be a surprise for him. I really tried my best to keep this but I failed. I can not fake what my heart feels. What should I do?

By the way, he’s already assigned in his hometown just last year. And to be able to go to his hometown, I have to ride a plane. But because of my job I can go to his place anytime because of my benefit of free tickets. I already asked him twice if I could visit him but he had many reasons to refuse. I never asked him again because I only get hurt. I am afraid that if I ask him again, I might get the same response. However, just last week, I was really surprise to see his pictures in facebook with his friends, they were some of the choirs from his assigned parish before he transferred to his hometown. I already met some of them during those parties where he invited us before. I was really upset that he can entertain them and give them time while he would always reject my visit. I am anxious about us and every negative feeling it gives me.. 

Hello readers! How are we going to answer for yet another love story involving an adult woman and a priest? Please let’s put ourselves in her shoes. There is no place for judgement nor orders about what to do. How about sharing our experience ? May God bless you all.

Today we wish to thank some of our readers with the promotion of their books. They believe in our cause that celibacy should be optional. They have thought about it, and they have written about it in more detail. We wish to say a special thank you! Their books are not going away. They would transmit the message forever. What one says, maybe easily forgotten. Yet what one writes, remains forever!

We wish to use this special occasion in order to encourage others to follow the same path. Most of the writers never thought themselves as writers. Writing starts when one jots down some notes. The notes start increasing day by day. Until finally there are so many of them that one can group them into chapters and finally into a book!

Most of our readers have been struck by lightning (their love story with a priest). This is a good reason to write about it. Now some of you have already written their story on this blog so why bother to write a book? Well there’s a big difference between an article on a blog and writing a whole book. The advantage of a book is that one can go much deeper with the story especially, one involving a love story with a priest. One needs to start remembering some details by making a time line (like a diary but going back in time). Then one just lets his emotions do the rest. The rest of the readers have been given a good tutorial of becoming a good writer by providing the necessary fuel (asking all types of questions!!)

Free Priest, The movement for Ministerial Reform in the American Catholic Church, by William F. Powers. This book is a sociological examination of what has been happening in the world of married priests in the framework of a social movement. It is based on the records kept by organizations of ‘free priests’ as well as interviews with dozens of leaders of those organizations. It is the inspiring story of men who remain deeply committed to their calling despite having made the painful decision to leave the priesthood and the barriers put up within the Roman Catholic church.

Bingo, Mandatory Celibacy and Clergy Sexual Abuse, by Louise Haggett. The Bingo Report is the result of her ten-year social research project, a timely and provocative study of celibacy and clerical sexual abuse. Ms, Haggett has been featured on international television and radio programs, such as 60 minutes and the BBC and in newspapers and magazines such as New York Times, the International Herald Tribune and Time.com. In her role as president and founder of CITI Ministries/Rentapriest.com, she has recruited hundreds of priests who have married and assisted them in renewing their ministry to the spiritually unfed in the church.

Exodus from the Priesthood, by David Rice. I know no study of the current state of the Catholic priesthood that compares with this. The priesthood is in a state of crisis, probably the worst in the Church’s history. Yet no one has researched the subject as well as David Rice. No one has listened to resigned priests with such wisdom and sympathy. Often their stories are more startling than any that come out of Hollywood. The result is not merely depressing for Shattered Vows points the way to a ministry that is less clerical and more genuinely Christ-like.

The Pearl, by Pauline Nikolov. How many men are truly interested to learn about the woman next to them as an equal? How do different religious men, different cultures and denominations present their relationship to women? Who is misogynic? (hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls) Who is truly loving and tolerant to women as Jesus? Hope is a young woman who is about to find answers and discovers her purpose in life. Through series of life experiences and adventures – from the legend about the living soul of a pearl named Vif, to the noble aim to bring together people from different faiths and denomination in the name of peace – she tirelessly communicates the importance of exchanging spiritual gifts and the role of women a mediators for peace. From Egypt to Los Angeles, from Chicago to Paris, characters and historical facts are mixed to entertain and spread messages to readers with an appetite to know more.

Isabel, Secret Diary of a Discreet Secretary, by Isabel Szlavik. After a short stint as a fashion model and crooner for a jazz band, Isabel Szlavik decided to pursue what was at the time, the largest, most prestigious, and elegant job category for women around the world. The skills list for a secretary was short: a minimum typing speed of fifty words a minute, a general knowledge of shorthand, and enough patience to handle messy carbons and an electric typewriter. From her first job supporting a missionary who devoted his life to helping the needs to her last role assisting two talented businessmen, Isabel chronicles the often humorous side of the secretary-boss relationship, how she dealt with a rapidly changing technological world, and handled the many different personalities and cultural backgrounds of the American, Brazilian, German, Italian, Chinese and French nationals she worked with on a daily basis.

We might mention other books in the future as obviously there are many more books dealing with the subject of forced celibacy. We can give just the result of a search engine….
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=books+about+celibacy&t=lm&atb=v24&ia=products

We welcome suggestions from our readers about other books which they have found inspiring. Please write!

Somebody once said, that listening to the news, makes one fall into a deep depression. Well it might be so for the unbelievers but not for the strong ones! The news that in the coming meeting in Rome they are not going to discuss celibacy, might sound as a death sentence to the celibacy debate! Yet, the meeting with the Pope is not the only solution to bring change in the Catholic Church. Surprisingly some changes in the church took place with the help of the so called ‘enemies of the church’…..a striking example is that of Martin Luther, who was called by Saint Pope John Paul II, a man of great spirituality!!

Let’s start with our blog. There are still many stories involving priests and women that we can publish once every fortnight for a very long time. There are still people who are afraid to come forward and publish their story. We always protect our readers by changing names, places etc…..We need to show them how many priests are involved in clandestine relationships! Otherwise they might think that the celibate discussion is just for a few hot heads who insist on marrying priests!

Secondly, besides our blog, there are more ways too. How about parishioners talking with the rest of the parish/diocese/church etc…?? We should not be afraid of putting our agenda on the discussion table. The sexual abuse of children has already given us a great push forward. Most baptized people are not aware of the celibacy problem, or maybe they are not interested!

Some of us could participate in a discussion on the radio/television/internet/newspaper… Let’s show them that the apostles were married. We are not asking for an impossible change! We are going back to the basics after all. How can we discard the proof of the bible if we wish to remain faithful to the teaching of the church?

We need to practice persuasion skills…..showing them the advantages of having married priesthood, could be one of them. In a few words, we have to come out from our protective shell and tell the others. Changes in society won’t come automatically, we have to push in order that others might see the change in our lives.

This is exactly what happens when a married priest tries to bury the fact that he is still a priest. The priest, knowingly or unknowingly, might still help people. People see that he has special talents when hearing others. There would be some people (one person is enough at the beginning) who insists in receiving some counselling from the priest. Others might ask for sacraments…once he starts working as a priest (in diaspora), a change in his heart takes place.

God works in mysterious ways….yes it’s true! We are witnesses to this as we have already passed through this path! Let’s not be afraid. This is a wake up call, we have to work hard to bring about the necessary changes in the church. Let’s not wait for a magical/talented person who is going to work for our belief in married priesthood, unless we do the donkey work!

Let’s hear from our readers about new ways how we can reach out to other parishioners in order to push for changes in the Catholic Church.