Tag Archive: Konrad Mizzi


Emotional maturity

Our schools rarely cater for such need for students in order to be educated in emotions. We all think about academic achievements, yet the students in front of the teacher come to school with a luggage of emotions!

In school they are realising that a student is influenced by not less than 70% outside the school perimeter (family, peers, internet etc..). Just the remaining 30% is in the hands of the school (when delivered correctly!!)

Now what about priests? They rarely receive any education whatsoever when it comes to emotions. Why are we surprised that they run away when they fall in love or because they give the cold and hot attitude to a person who cares so much for them?

There are various websites which could help our readers to get some basic knowledge when dealing with emotional intelligence. One can just use a search engine to get some interesting reading.

In the meantime let’s continue debating…..priests should be helped to make them aware of emotions especially when they are attracted to somebody. First of all they need to find the assurance that nobody is going to report them to the bishop because of such feelings! Secondly they come to terms with the fact that finding attractive people is part and parcel of life. We meet people all the time, some are too busy, some are arrogant, some live on the moon but some are so attractive. There is always a reason why meet such people.

Once they acknowledge their true feelings, they can start working on them. Now, how can we go on with these feelings? We are not implying or forcing anybody to go and fall in love. But such experience could reveal a lot about the priest. One of them is the lack of friends. We mean friends who don’t look for the priest simply to find the perfect man but who can be himself and speak about his heart calmly and without fear. The priest works a lot for the others. But who takes care of him?

Another aspect which hinders the priest’s progress in emotional maturity is his position in the parish. The fact that he is the boss, he doesn’t need to convince anybody to press on with his arguments. He doesn’t need to listen to his parishioners! Nowadays most priests are simply buried with the parish work that they don’t have time to do family visiting. They don’t have time to meet some forgotten areas or difficult areas in the parish! In most of the time he is not challenged by the young teens because they stopped attending church!

Conflict is a good indicator of one’s emotional maturity! How does the priest react when facing opposition?

In other words, the priest, living on his own is simply detached from our ‘normal’ life where we are challenged in our work by our superiors or by clients or by new companies. Or where we get hurt by other people’s comments or behaviour! Just the other day I was at the seaside and an angry woman just threw a chair out of its way…..it’s a classical example of how people need to be educated in emotions. Whatever reason she had, we simply don’t throw chairs just because somebody doesn’t agree with us or maybe he or she behaved badly! If we start throwing chairs then it will be a war not a civilisation anymore!

The emotional test will be very challenging with the people we love most. One is because we live together or we see each other most of the time ie the more we see each other the better chances of hurting each other. Secondly because we expect much more from our loved ones. Our expectations are so high with people we admire and love. Consequently we are in a better position to be disappointed!

It’s up to the readers to continue our discussion…..

Let’s push for change

Somebody once said that the biggest sin in the world is when the so called ‘good people’ don’t do anything. On the other hand the so called ‘evil ones’ are doing work 24/7!

We wish to compare this thought to the Catholic Church today. Although we don’t want to use the term ‘good’ or ‘bad’ (referring to people), we wish to point out two different categories of people in the church.

There are those who guard the teaching of the church in jealous way, and they don’t let anyone interfere or change anything. Consequently the church is seen as a museum where change rarely happens. Everybody knows that this is false, yet these individuals continue walking the same road.

On the opposing fence, there are those who would like lots of changes, more frequently and on a bigger scale in the Catholic Church.

Whilst these two opposing groups are found in any church, corporation, business, family etc…in the Catholic Church it seems that the first group has been in power for too long. This has effected in a negative way the side of those who consider themselves ‘progressive’ or who dream of changes. Again we hate labelling but we need to use some terms in order to drive home our point.

In our experience, most people have left the church. This includes many priests as well. They have been waiting for too long to see any changes. In practical life, they have invented a spirituality of their own. They still connect to God. They still hold most of the Catholic principles. Yet they are without a community. In an evangelical way, they are the sheep without a shepherd!

Being responsible of this blog, we have realised, that many people agree on many issues. Yet the lack of community makes their effort useless. One cannot change anything in the world if one is not connected to a community. What will change if I stay in my house rumbling about the church? Most probably I would be having a negative view of the church and slowly but surely I would abandon all faith practice! This in turn would ruin my spirituality!

Running the blog made us realise that there many people out there who need support in order to make them realise that they are not on their own. Their falling in love with a priest is not the only one which happened in the church! Their thoughts are not unique because many others share the same point of view. In real life we feel running a parish! We are happy about this.

We are calling our readers to have a more active role. Some of them are already doing some sterling work by writing their opinion on our blog. We would like to invite them to go out and talk about married priesthood. We do believe in social media as the place where changes occur rapidly.

Why are we pointing to social media? Because the people who would accept these changes are not going to church any more! They are found elsewhere! But this leads to a new concept of the church. We have been used to listen and obey for too many years. We are adults in faith. We feel the need to talk about our faith in particular situations (such as when we fell in love with a priest).

This in turn is not outside religion because in the documents of Vatican II (a meeting for all Catholic bishops which took place between 1963-65), they brought about the biggest change in religion (many don’t know unfortunately). What was the change? It’s not applying rules to everyday life but rather create principles or teaching from everyday life! It’s not the above to down below application but rather from down below to high above! It’s not about obeying laws but seeing, touching, living with God in one’s personal and intimate way of life! God is already there, in one’s life, even though one feels as if living outside the gospel because of various reasons.

Now we do know that this teaching is not just two lines but it needs many more hours of teaching and coaching. But it is so vital so that people get to know that without attending church or any other similar meetings, they have been walking in line with the teaching of the church! One’s life has been the new temple where God loves to stay.

Why has this happened? Because they now longer attend church. There is no one to tell them what is the real teaching of church. They have remained closed in their spirituality with no contact with any believers at all. This has been one of our main objectives: to connect with many people who have left the church.

To come to a conclusion we have left the so called the ‘museum idea of the church’ to stay for too long. We don’t challenge their ideas. We are giving away the match without going on the field and give our very best! The so called ‘conservatives’ are winning because we are not fighting at all!

Let’s push our experience of God and our understanding of the church. We are on the footsteps of the apostles, who most of them were married. We don’t need to feel defeated, in shame, sinful or out of reach of God. We are the apostles of 2016!