Tag Archive: married priests


I’m Abigail. The Reverend Father is Alex. Basically, we met at a small parish in a rural town in Minnesota. I wanted to convert to Catholicism and after meeting with him for 9 months, I was baptized and confirmed by him during Easter Vigil. Our meetings usually lasted around 2-3 hrs.

We never kissed but we’re the same age and had tons of weird stuff in common. He’d tell me things like, “you’re a very beautiful girl” and “nothing is off the table where you and I are concerned”. He was very confusing in the way he phrased things. I’ve been in love with him for months and I think he feels the same. However, I brought a male friend to my baptism and now Fr. Alex won’t look at me and didn’t respond to my message. He announced last Sunday that his last day would be June 20th. His term was supposed to be for 12 years but now he’s mysteriously leaving after just 2 years???

I shook his hand as I was leaving Mass (as is customary) and he wouldn’t even look at me. He didn’t look at me during his announcement, either.

I asked Abigail some direct questions. Here are the answers.

How was he during the those 9 months? Did he act more like a man than a priest?

He openly adjusted/scratched his genitalia in front of me once. He used crude language often, all the swear words, even the F word. He told me that all every man thought about was sex and how good it feels and how much they need it and want it (even though I didn’t ask him that and it had nothing to do with our conversation.) His language was always overtly sexual. He was constantly saying things like ‘screw’, ‘fuck’, etc. He talked about breasts a lot, too and mentioned pornography a lot.

Did he ever sit next to you (touching you) ?

He always wanted me to sit at the end of the table, while he sat on the right of me. The closest we could possibly be at the table. Oftentimes when we were standing, he’d stand so close to me that our shoulders touched. He didn’t pull away.

What other kind of language you think was weird for a priest parishioner relationship? Did he ever use any body language to hint that he wanted more from you?

Besides the overtly sexual language, he told me we could meet ‘informally’ outside of the church anytime I wanted to. One time we were talking and he was trying to remove his coat and he was so engaged with me and staring at me that he couldn’t focus to remove his coat and he said, “Damn, I’m all fucked up today.”

How do you know that you’re in love? Can you prove that he loves you? What signs does he give to you to make you think that he is in love?

We were in the sanctuary and we just stared at each other for over a minute with intense eye contact (‘bedroom eyes’) and he mimicked my body language as if our bodies/torsos were in sync. He described his old girlfriends and their description was the exact same as my description, down to hair and eye color and interests. He’d follow me after our meetings until I turned down a side street. He got noticeably quiet when I’d talk about my past lives and he even chastised me for having a long term boyfriend. I broke up with the guy and anytime he was mentioned Fr would say, “I bet he just wants to have sex with you! That’s what he wants is sex! If you talk to him, he’s going to think that you’ll have sex with him!” Sex, sex, sex!

Was he in competition then with your male friend?

I brought 4 people to my baptism. A married couple, an older lady, and my friend Eric. He made it a point to talk to them and engage them in conversation, all except Paul. He did not even shake his hand but he shook my other guests hands. He wouldn’t even look at Paul and was extremely cold, to the point that my other guests asked me what Fr Alex issue was with Paul. He was baptizing another person on the same night as my baptism and he didn’t even go speak to the other persons guests. He ignored them. He spent 20 minutes after with me & my guests though, totally unsolicited.

Abigail is one of our readers who have the courage to publish her story. There is no place for judgement on our blog. Let’s see what God is telling us through another love story which involves a priest. In the meantime, being a new comer to the Catholic Faith, let’s pray that Abigail won’t loose her faith in God and the church!

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Maltese Identity

Due to a shortage in romantic stories, we are presenting a study about religious behaviour in one single country. Malta (Europe) used to be a bastion for other Catholic Countries. Yet the tide of secularisation has arrived swiftly. Old people can surely feel the great changes which have taken place, the one most noticeable is the attending of the Sunday Mass.

Married priesthood can be an asset in the sense that having teenagers growing up in one’s family, one notices a great difference the way they interact with God, prayer, morality etc……it’s no easy task to talk to your own teenagers!!!! Yet the daddy priest would be in a better place to understand what’s going on with today’s young generation. We insist that the married priest would present a different agenda on how to work with people in the parish. Surely most young people feel alienated from the parish. There is rarely an activity going on the parish which is done in order to attract the young ones.

Before we present the sociological results, we wish to make clear some points which otherwise would not be understood. The study was done during Lent. In Malta Lent has some cultural importance as it is reflected in ways people live their spirituality. One of the most visible signs is the popular Good Friday procession in the street where it’s part and parcel of the local culture. One priest says more people come to church during this day, then Good Friday! Such is the strong pull of Our Lady on the Maltese population.

A quick look at the capital city one notices the tall and strong walls surrounding it. The idea was to keep other people from entering the city. In some sense, it still conveys the same idea. In fact nobody gave the news that the Pope might call married men for priesthood! In Malta shockingly we still keep some news out from circulation. On the same lines, nobody tells the people that once a priest, always a priest. They are still brainwashed that a priest who decides to change job/vocation is considered as ‘ex’ or in other words considered not to be a priest any longer.

Another European issue is getting much attention, that is the issue of legal and illegal migrants, terrorism and the blackmailing of Muslims, all have contributed to the people to return to the church. In other words it’s like in a war: more people would return to church just because they are afraid!

Notwithstanding all this, a very high percentage is in favour of married priests. Though we are just under the 50%, yet those against are mostly over 50s. Consequently the tide in favour of married priests in this conservative Catholic country is gaining momentum too!

https://is.gd/8MGRWW

On a more global vision, an article is mentioning what our present Pope is facing in the church itself. We think it’s worthwhile reading.

https://www.ncronline.org/news/vatican/interim-results-pope-francis-revitalizes-vatican-ii-reforms

If there is something which is common to all people, then that would be relationships. Nobody was born in a vacuum. In many cases one was born by the act of love of two people. At least one adult took care of her/him. He/she learned the basics of a relationship.

A relationship starts when we meet people. We get to know the name; where one lives; where one works etc…..The more sharing of information takes place, the more it makes one’s relationship deeper.

Why are thinking about relationships in this Easter week? First of all, it was the most tragic week for the apostles. They saw Jesus doing incredible miracles (like waking up the dead, walking on water, giving sight to blind people…). Yet all of a sudden they witnessed His death. Their relationship with Jesus seemed to stop forever. They lost all hope of changing the fate of the Jewish people. The Romans were still there. What has changed then?

The unmarried priest is nowadays sent from one parish to another. He has barely time to come to grips with the situation, when suddenly he is moved to another parish. His timetable is surely packed 200%. He sees people just to administer sacraments, give his ‘expert’ opinion about the spiritual life….and that’s it. At the end of the day he is all alone. Who knows about his internal struggles and loneliness? Can he be the shepherd and show fragility? Will the parish community see him as a holy priest albeit with personal difficulties and sins?

We repeat, it’s not the urge to have sex which drives a priest beyond of what is expected of him. It is rather this emptiness to belong to someone. The feeling of being a parcel at the post office which is being sent from one place to another with no emotional attachment! Belonging is something which makes part of the human being. One may call it a basic human need.

We have heard countless priests telling their own stories. These priests are saints. They are fighting a huge battle which most people do not understand. We simply pay attention when ‘sex’ comes in the story. Most journalists are not interested in what happened before or after!

How can a priest, who is not in relationship, speak to us about a relationship with a hidden and unseen God? We can understand the difficulty of the apostles who have been sitting next to Jesus and who all of a sudden was gone. But what about people who have never seen God? How can we nurture a true and deep relationship with our God?

We can’t live without one single, significant relationship. Now this is the achilles heel in the priest’s life. He does not belong to anybody in the parish. He can easily bury the problem by adding more work. Some might indulge in heavy drinking or smoking. Others might go travelling around the world in the most exotic resorts! Some of them invite women to their bed. The latter are the ones who make news items really interesting!!!

It’s a vicious circle because actually they are looking for a full time relationship. Yet in their early years in the seminary (the place where young candidates for priesthood are educated), they were lectured (or bombarded) by the message that any relationship is wrong! In some places, priests remember the advice in order not to talk to a woman alone! The only exception is during confession!!!!

Partially it explains the hot and cold attitude of the priest when getting a deep relationship. It’s something that he has no experience of yet he feels helpless. Most probably he wants to run away until the feeling of not belonging comes in again and he starts all over again.

The eternal truth is that one can’t be in a true, lasting relationship if it’s not a deep one! So it explains a lot about the odd behaviour of the priest!! He wants one thing without the other…which is humanely impossible.

When we speak in favour of married priesthood, we are changing all this. Now priests too are people who aren’t in favour of change especially when it touches their deeper self being! They need their time to understand what’s involved and why.

We should present our married priesthood not simply as a solution to avoid sex scandals! But it’s an answer to a deep yearning for inner peace. Any human being needs to be loved, taken care of, and to feel secure with one person who knows him/her inside out.

In the present life, both in the parish and outside (the rest of the population), love and sex have been taken out from a relationship. In that case the relationship dies a natural death. It’s no wonder that some women complain that they are being used as an object! Sex would be simply the meeting of two ‘foreign’ bodies! Love would be translated as simply touching the outside layer of the person (the body).

One of the advantages of married priesthood would be that they would be in a better shape to guide, coach and train other people in how to nourish properly a relationship! Let’s hope that the Risen Christ would guide us to have better relationships by having the example of the married priest!

Faith beyond a dead situation

During this lent, we would like to draw attention to a particular story: a man who was found guilty and given the death sentence. How would we look at him? What will the newspapers say about him? Will anybody come to his defence? Most probably we would be happy to have him ‘removed’ from earth. We would think that the problem would have been solved.

Well, well, well……Jesus was condemned to death. It was the highest punishment. Most people thought that He was a failure. Strictly speaking the Romans were still occupying the Jewish land!! There were no big political changes. The death of a person meant that the person was buried once for all.

Yet the incredible starts to unfold, just three days after his death! He was resurrected. Those who believed that by violence they would have silenced an unruly person, failed miserably as he was seen roaming their streets after His death! Perhaps the biggest miracle is that people are still prepared to die for His name! Who would die for a king, famous person, artist, scientist etc…….?

The pain, torture, death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ forms the basic teaching of our faith. Now as adults, do we really believe that Christ can bring a new life from a dead situation? Do we really believe that he can resurrect a whole cemetery?

We would like to ask all of you to examine their faith especially during this lent season. Reading through many opinions on our blog, we would like to emphasize that many times it is not only a difference in opinion, but a difference in the level of faith.

The pastoral work to be done in the parish is not simply to give Christ to the people (the old definition) but rather finding God in their own personal and intimate life!

We do know that falling in love involves a person on different levels. It’s an experience where a person truly changes, one way or another. But what about faith in woman-priest love relationship? We do know that the old sense of guilt creeps in rather oddly. Yet, like the sea waves which come rushing onto the beach, they are then broken down.

It is the fire brought into the priests’ life which is needed badly by the church today! The priest who feels loved, cared for etc…is the much needed solution for our parishes. Ultimately it will bring about a new philosophy of thought in the church too especially in the field of love and relationships. Do we have faith that such change will happen in the Catholic Church?

Now to help those who are unbelievers in the development of thought in the Catholic church, we would invite you to read some articles. Our hope and determination are not in vain. Things are moving, albeit very slowly!

Link 1;

Link 2;

Link 3.

We agree to disagree

In publishing a blog, one meets many new people. Some are very sociable and some are not. Some have very clear ideas, others tend to stay on a dividing line never committing themselves to any idea or philosophy. In any case, although sometimes we blame social media for keeping people at home for too long, yet one does meet a lot of people. Meeting other people there is the chance of forming up a community especially when we share our main goal.

We are very happy that we have formed a very large ‘online’ community. We stick to the definition ‘community’ because we are growing up together in a spiritual way. Growing up could create problems though, as terminology, because indirectly it might imply that others are still infants or very young. In one sense, community explains our spiritual welfare but in other cases we prefer the term ‘journey’.

When one travels to another part of the country or a different country, one meets new customs, people, way of life etc….it doesn’t mean that others who are not travelling at the moment are less or more. Maybe they have travelled earlier, or they have travelled to another country. The main meaning is that we are discovering. We are in no position to feel better or worse than others. In fact reading some of the experiences of some readers have helped us to understand what was practically hidden for many years or better centuries!

Once a famous author (of which I have forgotten the name!), has said that relatives are the most people who might hurt us!!! Why? Because when we are close to a person, we get to know that person in a deep way. Now a person is very complex. There are various levels of growth and emotions. Obviously one day or another we are going to disagree. Shall we stop the relationship? Shall we try to convert him/her to our ideas? Shall we tell the person to shut up? Shall we go away? Shall we label her/him? Shall we accept him/her as he/she is?

These are all possible scenarios that we could find ourselves in. We do remember another famous author who once said that before one goes into discussion, one tries to remember that when we start a discussion we try to look for new ideas or for a different aspect which we have not taken into consideration. The main point is that what is so dear for us, for another person might be meaningless!!! We do not hold all the truth in our hands! We do realise that this is a very high goal to achieve because many discussions online turn into anything except the true meaning of the word discussion!

We know that some people online, maybe because their face is hidden, turn into bullies! They try to silence any opposition with their choice of words! Others feel that other people are given them a bad name or judging them. Others feel offended as soon as other people might disagree with their opinion. Some of our readers might feel offended why we did let other people express themselves in such a way. Yes we do acknowledge that some people need to change their choice of words or better, be more diplomatic when they are expressing themselves, but if we start to edit people’s opinion we would be on a dangerous mission because then who is going to decide what to publish and what not to publish? And on what grounds?

Others are really creative when they build up a whole story on a single comment….practically they give us the impression that there is a whole army against them! Unfortunately they don’t realise that it’s their mind who is playing games. Somebody wrote a comment…let’s stop there. Let’s not build a series of comments just on what he/she might imply with his/her comments!!!!

Some people give the impression that everybody has to agree with their ideas! Others think that whatever Mr X or Ms Y writes, is referring to them!! Some people in the USA live with a different mentality: sue people for things shared online. Well in Europe things are different. We do not sue people because we believe in the freedom of expression. To sue people is the same as killing all kind of discussion. In that case it’s better not to participate in any kind of discussion. Stay at home and build a fairy tale castle where everything takes place according to your own wishes!

All this points to an important point: we need to learn what a public forum or discussion on the internet means.

Educating adult people does not mean to teach them by heart some principles (as we used to think!). It’s a journey where they experience life and they form up their own principles. We cannot impose our values and principles. We try to give witness to what we believe. Jesus was the perfect teacher, yet not everybody listened to His message. So we can’t expect a better answer from our listeners!

On the other hand, it doesn’t mean that those who do not abide by our own way of thinking are bad or worse than us!!! The Vatican Council II has written a wonderful document dealing with the church in the world today. We should be in a dialogue with the ‘world’ (=people who believe differently). Condemning is not our option. Actually that is God’s work because He knows everything and sees everything.

One last note: all comments are vetted by me. This is because there is a lot of marketing going on. If we let readers to write directly on the blog, there would hundreds of them promoting any kind of product. So if your comment takes some time to appear it’s because I’m doing something else at the moment (I have to earn my living too because this blog is voluntary and it doesn’t pay my bills).

May God bless you all and thanks for forming up one single community notwithstanding that we might not agree on certain terms/ideas etc…

As we ended our hug, we kissed…

Hello my name is Maria. I’m from Italy. I apologize if my English is not very good.

I bumped into your blog a few days ago and since then I have read a lot of stories that remind me of my own. I always thought I was a one in a million, but I found out that a lot of women know exactly like I feel after all.

I am 44 years old and I met my priest 10 years ago when my girls went to the school where he was the Director. I started to attend mass at that parish where later I became a catechist for 6 years and a member of the church choir (still am).

We began talking more and became friends 6 years ago when I became more and more involved in the activities of the parish. My husband at the time was also a catechist, so we spent a lot of time together. My marriage was having some problems for some time and I looked for him every time I needed to talk, always looking for someone to hear me and advise me. He was the only person I felt comfortable enough to cry and every time we had our conversations I would cry and cry and cry….

My husband and I were driving apart, there were no fights or anything like that between us, but we simply drove apart after having our children. Our kids are everything to us and through the years we forgot about each other, we stopped investing in us as a couple and doing things together like going to a movie or go out for dinner. At that point in my live I felt completely lost….

We used to meet at his office at church and sometimes at his house. We became closer and closer, changing texts throughout the day.

One day we were at his house and after a long conversation we said goodbye and hugged each other (like so many times before), but as we drove away from the hug we kissed and that’s when all started. We didn’t plan it, I never looked at him as a man, only as a priest and a very dear friend until that day. I enjoyed his company very much, loved talking to him because at that time I was in the middle of a depression (still am) and he was the only person I could talk to regarding my marriage problems.

After the kiss we just stared at each other for a couple of minutes not knowing what to say just apologizing to each other. I remember I drove home that night very surprised with what just happened but feeling an immense joy and inner peace.

The next day we talked about it and he said he always had enjoyed my company and he knew he felt different when he was with me, but never understood why. I felt like I never did before with anyone. One of the first things he said to me was that he was never going to leave priesthood because “I love what I am” but that he loved me also in a way he never experienced before.

A few weeks later I decided it was time to end my marriage and so I did. My husband and I had a serious talk and decided it was time to separate although we would still be living together because of the kids.

After three months my priest left the school direction because he was invited by our bishop to be responsible for a bigger school that belonged to the diocese, but he would continue to see me in he parish. It was a very big challenge for him, he started working there over 9 hours a day and then went to say mass everyday. He worked too hard for the first year ending up with a major depression/exhaustion. Soon the doctor made him realize he had to decrease the amount of working hours and medicated him so he could sleep better and rest. In that year we saw each other only on Sundays at mass and texted very little. Sometimes we would have lunch together but he was always very quiet and very depressed.

He began to feel better and text me more often, he was happy, motivated, saying he needed me and never wanted to lose me.

My life was very difficult after all that happened, living in the same house as my husband, falling in love with a priest, seeing him a lot less, all of that broke me. My depression got a lot worse, there were days I couldn’t get out of bed, didn’t want to see any sunlight, be with my kids, work….. All I wanted to do was sleep and cry, I stopped eating and lost a lot of weight at the time. I have to admit that my faith was starting to get weaker and weaker although my priest never left my side, always worried and kept trying to make me get out of the house and see people which I didn’t want to do, see or talk to anyone.

After 3 years of living together I had a huge fight with my husband and decided I wanted to kill myself because I was no good to anyone, I was just making everyone miserable. I texted him that night and told him that I didn’t want to live anymore, that I had enough of pain. He panicked and called my mother and told her to go immediately to my house because I was about to do a crazy thing. When my mother got there I couldn’t stop crying and we decided I would move to her house the day after. So I did, I stayed there for a few weeks before I moved to an apartment where I have been living alone for the past 4 months.

My priest and I have been together for 3 years, with a lot of ups and downs, we broke up a lot of times, but we definitely can’t live without one another. We see each other a few days a week, go out for dinner, sometimes we take a day off and go somewhere nice.

All of the times we broke up, it was always because of me, it always leaves him and me devastated… I respect the fact that he loves what it does, he doesn’t want to leave priesthood and he doesn’t want to loose “us”, he says he feels completed that way and I truly understand, but on the other hand sometimes I feel very lonely, it’s sad not being able to hold hands in public, not being able to be with him in important occasions like his recent 25th anniversary of priesthood or our birthdays. Almost everyday he has meetings at night because he’s responsible for 2 parishes.

I can’t talk to anyone because no one can understand what I’m going through, sometimes not even myself. Women who fall in love with a priest must prepare herself to be most understanding, patient and forgiving. Sometimes it will require more giving than receiving. She must be strong to help, guide and assist him through difficult moments of depression and doubts because a priest, despite his outer austere shell, deep down, is extremely vulnerable and in need of all the support and love he can get. But sometimes I feel like I have no strength to go on, I fear for the future thinking I will end up alone… In all this time we have been together I always felt God was with us, that he is blessing us because he knows that our love is true.

Am I wasting my time with someone that I know loves me and loves priesthood? Why should he be forced to choose? I truly believe my love for him, makes him live his calling on a higher level! I never loved anyone like I love him!

After reading you blog I do think we all have much to learn from one another.  I have so much to learn from each one of your experiences.
I‘m grateful to me given the opportunity to share my story with someone that will understand my joys and my grieves, the extreme emotions that a relationship like this brings.
May God bless you Rev. Daniel.

Dear readers let’s support Maria! Let’s pray for all her needs. Let’s share our thoughts in a kind, non-judgemental way. May God Bless you all!

The new parish working plan

In soccer, there is an occasion when a player instead of scoring against his opponents, scores against his own team!!! It is called an own goal! Something similar I noticed on our own blog lately. Instead of being happy that somebody takes the initiative, like small children we start stomping our feet until our demands are met!

This is not something simple. After centuries of priest domination in the church, some lay people won’t accept anybody except another priest. The priest has practically given the idea that the church is priest centered. This is because many people have stopped reading the bible. They have never attended any theological discussion or had any theological formation. When the people are not informed they can be easily manipulated! One can easily google the net to find out if the priest dominated model is the truly biblical main point or not! One can debate what is the position of the priest vis-a-vis the parish (local church).

In the first years of the church, we had many communities without priests! In the Latin American continent today, there are so many vibrant communities which are lead by lay people! They have in fact given out a new model for all the world to follow: the base level communities! Please do google this information!

On the other hand, in the so called Western World, we are heading into priestless parishes! Just one impertinent question: how many brave parents transmit their faith to their children? Can we dismiss it just because they are not ‘ordained priests’? How many people take care of the community in which they are living?

We are not alienated. We don’t have one medicine to solve all the church’s woes! The fact that we have been urging the church to let priests marry does not solve all problems! We are still going to face priestless parishes!!!

Our main goal to let priest marry, is, because of such development the whole church stands to benefit, especially when writing the social teaching of the church.

Some people were not happy that a woman had offered her services to our blog. Are we going to protest because there is a woman who is preaching this week in the parish? Are we going to protest because there is a married man who is administering our parish? If yes, then the Holy Spirit has in store a lot of surprises for our spiritual development!!!

In any case, the future is really interesting. We cannot be like old, grumpy people who compare the present with their idyllic past which has long been buried!! We need to face the new spiritual growth which like Abraham, calls us to leave our own methods, our own comfort zones and seek new pastures! Statistics (if not our own spiritual renewal), will tell us that the number of priests is going lower and lower. Now what? What do our readers suggest? For sure we can’t multiply the number of priests (even though we allow some married people to become priests).

Please do write your opinion as this makes our blog more alive and kicking. Hopefully it will lead to our spiritual growth!

An author has announced the year 2019 as the year where married priests will be introduced in the Catholic Church. See the link.

Well, we never get tied to a particular date for various reasons. But on the other hand married priests are already here..look at those coming from the Anglican side. They are accepted with their wives. On the other hand, priesthood is forever. Hence some of the priests who have left officially are still working as priests albeit in different conditions. So strictly speaking, married priests are already here! But if the Pope says it, one knows that it’s so important. Consequently it means that married people (not connected with the Anglican side) will be considered for priesthood. No word was given about those who have left officially or about those priests who wish to marry now!

We are so happy because the number of priests has dwindled immensely. The alternative is to close the parishes and leave Catholics without instruction in faith plus without the sacraments!

On a different level, hopefully it will bring about a new kind of church. The married person is not like the one who is closed in a cloister. He is still living in today’s world. Hence he has first hand information about what really happens outside the building of the church. One advantage would be, that in his work most probably there are people without a religion, of a different faith, or who have left the church a long time ago. He is already in a good condition to listen and to take part in an interesting dialogue! He has his own teens who question everything and don’t obey on purpose…..

Our Louise is presenting a golden opportunity. She is a person who would like to do something in daily life to change things. How I wish that more readers become active in order to break the silence and we all start to present a different view of the church.

She has started a one to one Skype sessions for the women and also for the priests who wish to have support and verbalize what they are going through, live with her. By experience she knows how liberating it is to be able to talk with a real person, and so she thought to offer her time to anyone who wishes to share their experience in a safe and confidential environment, where they won’t be judged and where they will be understood with empathy and compassion. They can contact her via her email, then from there she will give them her personal information on how to reach her on Skype. My email is louise@forbidden-to-love.com
In case they prefer to speak to a priest, I’m available too. They simply need to write a comment and ask so that it won’t be published.

May God Bless you all! I’ll keep all of you in my daily prayers.

Women haters

2018…new year and new expectations. Many people are already asking: is this the year in which Pope Francis will allow married priests?

We are used to times, dates and schedules. Well the Holy Spirit does not work in a time frame! Surprisingly He knows when it’s the best time to help the church grow in certain aspects. We are all in a journey. We grow through experiences, thoughts, questions, encounters, prayer, reflection etc…

We can’t promise anybody that this year we’re going to have married priests officially. But it doesn’t mean that if not, the process would have been stopped! In a flick of a second, what is considered impossible may become possible! Let’s remember that very hard experience of Moses. Who would face the pharoah (like a powerful king), to tell him to liberate the slaves? Facing the pharoah could have meant death…let alone proposing such an out of the box question!! It took him a long time to let the people of God out of Egypt, yet at one moment he seemed to have said yes…only to change his mind again after a few days!

Moses did face a lot of challenges in driving the people of God out of Egypt. They faced enormous tasks including that of feeding a large crowd in the desert. Yet in the end, after a very tough journey and a long time, they did reach destination.

That’s our hope today. One day or another, the Catholic Church cannot survive without priests. It cannot deny reality anymore if it wants to survive! Married priests will bring about a new reflection on the teaching of the church. They will be the necessary tool in order to bring about some necessary and urgent changes in the church.

On other hand, some of our readers, who are so impatient to see the changes in the church in a very short time, do not know the background of the Catholic Church. Believe it or not we are progressing. Let’s have a look to see at what stage we were just a few years ago. I’m sure some of you will feel very bad at reading some of the texts. As we’ve been writing for quite some time, the women haters in the church have been at the top position for too many years. We need to remove the old mentality first, before we see the benefit of a woman who accompanies her priest to make him more holy!

These are some of the texts below which show the dominant position of women haters who interpreted everything according to their own philosophical-theological understanding!

“Women were created essentially to satisfy the lust of men .” “I do not allow women to teach, nor to take authority in front of their husbands, but to be silent.” (Saint John Chrysostom)

” Women should not be illustrated or educated in any way, in fact, they should be segregated, as they are causes of insidious and involuntary erections (!) In male saints.” “The woman is an inferior being and is not created in the image and likeness of God.” It corresponds, then, to justice, as well as to the natural order of humanity, for women to serve men, just order only occurs when the man commands and the woman obeys “(Saint Augustine)

“If the woman does not submit to the man, who is her head, she becomes guilty of the same sin as a man who does not submit to Christ.” ” Nothing more impure than a woman in the period . impure “(San Jerónimo)

“The woman is inferior to the man in virtue and in dignity” . “In everything that refers to the individual is defective and badly born, because the active power of the male seed tends to produce a perfect resemblance in the male sex, while the production of a woman comes from a lack of active power ” (Saint Thomas of Aquino)

As usual we welcome readers to continue growing in their faith by sharing their thoughts.

My Testimony

My name is Louise Ouellet and I am from Canada. I would like to tell you a little bit about my story and what I am trying to do about mandatory celibacy. It was during the fall of 1995 along with my twin children of three years old and my husband whose life has been shortened by the HIV virus, I was walking toward my new church in this huge metropolis where we started a new life.

As I entered this magnificent building with breathtaking frescoed architecture, I never would have thought that a man wearing the Roman collar, someone who is married to the Church, was going to upset my little imperfect but quiet world. As I was watching him walking back and forth to get things ready for mass, I got hit with a huge wave of what instantly submerged to my very soul into a pool of pure overwhelming love.

He walked at a brisk pace in the large corridor that ran along the rows of carved wooden benches. As he approached the row where I sat, our eyes met – it was love at first sight. I felt as if I had always known him, but at that point, I did not even know his name. The only details I had were his exceptional height, blue eyes and a smile that lit up his whole beautiful face.

Despite this new indescribable feeling that came over me, I felt much guilt as I thought about my husband. The service ended, and I returned home with my family, determined to forget this incident and dismiss this new feeling.

From one Sunday to the next this uncontrollable love got the better of my reason. I wanted to know more about this man that stirred my soul and my heart. So, I decided to let events flow to open the door to friendship. I wanted to discover, without it being obvious, whether what I felt was mutual.

During this time, my husband’s health deteriorated quickly, and I felt overwhelmed. Since he did not take the drugs needed to stabilize the disease, we found ourselves faced with evidence that he had only months to live – now he had contracted full-blown AIDS.

I asked the support of the man of my heart, in his position as a priest, to accompany us on this painful journey. He nodded reassuringly and gave us all the support we needed during the illness, death, and funeral of my husband.

Now a widow, the relationship became increasingly close between us. Not two days would go by before we would call or meet each other. As insignificant as it could be, any excuse was good enough to see each other. The desire to kiss and to say how much we were in love was evident but neither of us dared to confess it.

Months had passed without anything physical happening between us, I felt his prudence and especially his fear despite his desire. One day, after having hinted that he contemplated marriage, I began to see my dream coming true. He seemed ready to take the step. There was now no barrier between us – my happiness was at its peak.

One day, his superiors realized that something was wrong. They saw that the morale of my beloved priest had been low in the recent months. He had confided to his spiritual director, revealing that he suffered from loneliness. With the help of a pretentious friend of ours, they quickly found the culprit for an inconvenient truth, for them, and could see that we were in love. They decided to separate us by imposing on him severe restrictions, of which I had no right to know the details. As for me, I was pushed aside without explanation nor support. I could quickly see that no one cared about the excruciating pain I felt.

The only thing I knew is that he was forbidden to talk to me or to my children and he was obligated to give them all my personal letters and emails, after which they would read; violating my privacy. One of them took me to his office and tried to intimidate me and mocked me about my letters. I felt so humiliated.

To keep me away from the man I loved, they began to destroy my reputation, to intimidate me and to spread rumors of ‘scandal’ among some parishioners, who were quick to judge and harass me. Meanwhile, my priest wept as much as I did, which added to my pain. I tried to fix things, but the more I tried, the worse the situation became embittered.

After twelve years of harassment and suffering, my health deteriorated due to stress and traumas that I was enduring for so long. I couldn’t beat the depression, so I decided to move far away, leaving behind the man of my life for whom I could do nothing. We never had the chance to kiss or to hold hands. We never made love.

After much therapy, I managed to go through mourning. I could forgive his superiors and some parishioners and make peace with the situation. It’s been 19 years since he was forced into silence, but the love is still in our hearts and the hope is still alive for the Church to exchange mandatory celibacy for the freedom of choice-optional celibacy. Even if this change was to come too late for my beloved priest and myself, at least it will be for the benefit of future generations.

Even if I terribly miss my beloved, I am presently in a good place in my life. I have learned with time to love myself enough to let go and appreciate life as it is. The love that I feel has grown to be an unconditional love; I believe that God, the Great I Am, is love… therefore, there is no barriers, no laws, no distance and time to stop us from loving each other. The day that I was awakened and embraced this fact, I was free from the pain. Now, I take time for myself and I share the wisdom that I salvaged from this traumatic experience in a comforting form of support for others.

One of my ways to give my support was by writing a book to share my story and bring awareness about the consequences of mandatory celibacy. It was released this summer and it is called Forbidden to Love-Pure Hearts Crushed Under the Law of Celibacy.

Also, 3 years ago, I created a website (http://forbidden-to-love.com) to give my support to the others who are going through the same thing as I did. There is so many of us, women, children and priests with heart-wrenching stories… My heart is broken for every single story that I read. It gives me the courage to keep on trying to make a difference even if sometimes it is only a word of encouragement.

In this present moment, I launched a petition to request the abolition of mandatory celibacy and to have the right to vote during the Synod. If you wish to sign and share it in your social media and in your community, you can follow this link:
https://www.change.org/p/pope-francis-vatican-help-us-abolish-the-mandatory-celibacy-law-in-the-catholic-church
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Besides, Louise has published all her story in an ebook form. For more details visit her website. Thanks Louise for publishing your story. You have already helped so many people. Let’s talk, let’s write. Let us not put this challenge under the carpet. The Catholic church has suffered a lot because of celibacy. Let’s make it optional. Let us not divide Christ present in the sacrament of matrimony and the sacrament of the Holy Orders! Both of them are sacraments! Both of them nourish the soul.