Tag Archive: marrying a Catholic priest

Happy New Year!

We are very pleased that some of our readers have reached a very high level of maturity when it comes to discussing married priests. It is a clear sign that the Holy Spirit can steer the minds and souls of common people if the need arises! The Holy Spirit is God. The Holy Spirit can give flesh and blood to a whole cemetery! God is not a God because He performs normal procedures or work. He is God because He does best what others classify as ‘impossible’. In other words, nothing is impossible for God. If we are true believers, we should believe it 100%.

Let’s be more clear. Some of our readers are truly understanding how many stumbling blocks the priest has to face before or if, he decides to leave the parish or the monastery! In some cases, he is aware of hurting the woman, yet for some reasons he won’t succeed in jumping over the fence! Again, let’s not play the blaming game. It’s not a question of who is right or wrong but of creating awareness first. Secondly we need to help create the right structure so that it becomes easier for priests to make a mature choice.

This blog was created for this simple reason: let’s discuss the issue of celibacy in priesthood. Let’s not put it under the carpet. I still remember that initially some of the people that I knew in the parish accused me of creating confusion! Maybe they thought that if we don’t discuss the issue it will simply go away! Maybe they were hinting that they don’t like a different opinion on this matter as it will eliminate their unfair position in this debate (ie dominance). In any case, we feel very proud of our blog as it has gained quite a lot of popularity without using any publicity!

Let’s not feel defeated. On the other hand let’s remain with our feet on the ground. The blog on its own is still not enough. We still need to go out and meet other people and share our opinion. We can still write letters to newspapers, radios, televisions etc…We can write letters to the priests, bishops and the Pope himself. We need to be heard. Other people are behind us. They do support our issue. I know of many people, inside and outside the church who are truly believers in our cause.

We need to make some ‘noise’ in the public eye! No revolution started from the top people! It has always started from the base – the common people! Let’s be one solid group in order to make our voice heard from all parts of the world! In the meantime we urge new readers to come forward with their story. We promise to hide their identity, if they feel safer that way. Yet each and every story proves that celibacy is not the issue of a small group of priests!!! It reaches a much bigger and wider audience!

A Happy New Year 2019 to all our readers!

Linda and Phil is another romantic story involving a Catholic priest. We are publishing this story (which was already published around 7 years ago – see link below) for a few reasons:

  • This woman like many others did not look for a priest to get married. She didn’t think marrying a Catholic priest was appropriate (this is what one hears in the Catholic Church for many many years). Yet love conquers all. Slowly but surely both of them understood that it was God calling them to be together and there was no escape…..you can put something under the carpet but it won’t go away!!

  • Phil was the kind of priest who believed in priesthood as a married priest. He had the guts to continue serving people strengthened by his woman who stood by his side all the time.

  • The woman who falls in love with a priest tries not to be a scandal by hiding her secret….in this case for 5 years!!! How terrible and painful to keep such a secret for so long. Obviously they are under pressure from other Catholics and afraid of being judged and given ugly nicknames…..

  • A woman with a son thinks twice about making the bold step: will my son accept my new love? Will my man love my son? Well the son found out that celibacy is a man made law! The priest did love their son. Is there a better ending to their love story?

  • His family reacted in a different way. Many many times the family members are afraid of being victims to a lot of gossip, hence they put a lot of pressure on the priest. I know from experience that even non-believing family members put pressure on priests to stay were they are! Obviously most of them do not understand a priest’s life notwithstanding the fact that there are blood relationships. They are the ones who confuse priests from taking the right decision. Now enjoy reading the article and please do pray for other couples passing through the same decision. There are so many and obviously not all of them have a happy ending!

    Though priests are mandated by the Roman Catholic Church to remain celibate and unmarried, Linda and Phil Marcin were called to marriage and wed in 1982. Linda’s husband was laicized, forbidding him from performing priestly duties. But since canon law says “once validly received, sacred ordination never becomes invalid,’’ Phil Marcin still performs baptisms, serves Holy Communion and completes other priestly duties when asked by everyday folks.

He insisted I just call him Phil, but I couldn’t. I thought that the title — Father Phil Marcin — and that black shirt and stiff white collar was a good barrier. It was a reminder to me that there were certain lines I could not cross.

I was a single mom when I met him. I started attending [Akron’s] St. Bernard’s, where he was an associate pastor. We very quickly became friends. We had a lot in common. We used to discuss theology a lot. I think I frustrated him, because I was more liberal than he was. He had a very strict Catholic upbringing. I was more open. I had attended a lot of different churches, but I always felt called to the Catholic Church.

I always thought that when my son Scottie was on his own, I would become a nun. I never really thought I would ever marry again. But, I thought if I ever did find the right man, I wanted someone who loved God as much as I did.

It was a very spiritual experience the moment I fell in love with him. We were at inquiry class — a course I took to become Catholic — and he put on a song by Joe Wise called “Maleita’s Song.” The words were “I’m in love with my God and my God is in love with me. The more I love you, the more I know, I’m in love with my God.” As I listened to the words, I opened my eyes and I looked at Phil. I really believe God let me see him through His eyes. I was filled with this enormous, tender love for Phil.

It scared the living daylights out of me. At the time, I didn’t know the history of the married priesthood. I just knew priests weren’t allowed to marry. I kept my love a secret for five years. I was terrified that when he looked at me, he would be able to tell how I felt about him.
After five years, it became too difficult. I was going to leave St. Bernard’s. I invited him over to dinner to say goodbye. That’s when we admitted to each other that we were in love. That’s the first time I could call him Phil.

For two years after that, neither one of us wanted him to give up his priesthood, but we also couldn’t stand the thought of losing each other. The only person I told during that time was my son Scott. He was really a genius. At 12 years old, he had researched all of this and knew that mandatory celibacy did not come from God. It was a man-made rule imposed in the 12th century. It opened me up to a whole new reality.
It’s terrible to be in love and just want to tell the whole world but have to keep it a secret.

Phil and I went through counseling. We realized we were called to marriage.

It was a relief to tell my friends. My friends knew I was in love, but not with whom. I think they thought I was in love with a married man. They were thrilled when they found out it was Phil, because everyone loved and respected him.

For his family, it was very difficult. They were very strict Catholics. Wonderful people, but they didn’t all understand. I think Phil’s mom, along with a lot of other people, thought I was competing with God in his life. When we were called to marriage, I think people thought he put me above the Lord, which was anything but true.

About a month before he left, Phil told the parishioners at all the Masses exactly what he was going through, told them they could come and ask any questions. Instead of leaving town and disappearing, we stayed in Akron and made ourselves available. That’s how our ministry continued.

We were married in May of 1982. We couldn’t get married in the Catholic Church, but we had a religious ceremony at Arlington Church of God. We had our marriage validated in the Catholic Church in 1986 after Phil was laicized. We still believe he is a priest, though. Once ordained, you are always ordained.

We had two sons. Phil baptized both of them and gave each their first communion.

People ask us why we stay Catholic. We believe in the church. We believe in the sacraments. We know the church has a lot of problems, but they are not going to be solved if people like us take the easy way out and leave. So we stay and hope we can make a difference.

— as told to Andy Netzel. Published on the internet at: http://tinyurl.com/4yzeffj