Tag Archive: online community

When we were young we were submitted to various teachings. Most of the time, we read books. We tried to assimilate as much as we could. Then years passed by and somehow we re-connected to what teachers/parents/guardians had told us. Most probably what we’ve been thought was good. Yet in real life it seems that it is a different kind of fish. It’s what we call the gap between the theory and real life!

We were thought to look up to priests for friendship, counselling, ideas etc…Obviously in theory everything is in order. Yet each every human being is formed not only through teaching, but through personal experience, chemicals present in his genes etc…All this will make it highly improbable to foretell his future life as each person has a different outcome, which is based on millions of variables.

The first step is when one is asking for help. It brings the baptised person close to a priest. This is the work of the priest after all! But what happens when most of the priests feel all alone, neglected, alienated, disappointed and put aside? A normal kind of friendship (obviously there is nothing wrong), could be a tempting one for the priest. Instead of listening and comforting the person, the priest fulfils his needs for friendship, attention, love etc…within the counselling sessions. A counsellor has to listen to the client and not vice-versa, at least he can’t talk for a long period of time. The fact that the priest starts talking about his life means automatically that the sessions are taking a different path!

On the part of the person who is seeking the priest’s help, things start moving differently when they view the priest not as a counsellor but as the one who is fulfilling their dream of the ideal man! Obviously when one meets another person for a few hours weekly, it’s very easy to idolise that person! Remember that most people as viewed at work, might seem to be the ideal person. It’s when one lives with the person that one sees the complete picture! Yet, when one is hungry for love, recognition, attention and self affirmation, all other things will occupy a less important place in their lives! They just want to cling to somebody no matter what! It could be that we’re living in anonymous cities (Western part of the world), hence we desperately need friends!

We’ve been saying for quite some time now that priests who explain the word of God every Sunday (plus maybe other public meetings), are practically revealing their inner self to the general public. He is the one who speaks about a lot of values where no one speaks anymore (or at least not that often!). Speaking about such values will put more fire on a woman’s heart who is burning with desire to have a loving partner.

The priest in most cases, has all the time of the world to meet, listen and talk with parishioners. He is the one who makes his own timetable hence, he is easily available! The priest has no one to report to for his day to day running. Hence he can postpone last minute meetings without giving any real reason or hiding behind superficial reasons!

We don’t wish to give the message that it’s impossible, yet in the present circumstances, it’s getting more difficult to be a good friend to a priest. When a person is not complete (in many senses), it could lead to trouble, whether he is a priest, bishop, Pope, woman etc…In mathematics they used to teach us that a minus ( – ) with a minus ( – ), make a plus!

Our wish to have married priests will help the church to have a better system where priests are living in a relationship which will help them understand better the need for attention, love, affirmation etc…We’re not saying that it’s foolproof. There is nothing perfect. Yet on the human side of the argument, it will help them to be better prepared to work in today’s church.

Second Class Priests!

In the absence of love stories between priests and women, we are sharing our reflections regarding the latest news in the Catholic church.

In a March 2017 interview with German newspaper Die Zeit, Pope Francis used the term viri probati – in this context, religious married men of proven character – in saying he was open to the idea of a married priesthood, as is allowed for deacons, in remote areas where the priest shortage is particularly serious.

We are still not 100% sure of the outcome of married priests as we are still receiving conflicting news! Read this article

In any case it seems that all newspapers are agreeing that married priesthood is again in the news. Mulling all kind of news to look for positive news, we see some troubling ones. In the quoted statement made above, we have one single question: So are married priests just fillers? That is: are they being allowed as if they are necessary evil? Are they being allowed simply to fill in the blanks? Are we sort of second class priests who are allowed to work as priests simply because there is lack of?

Many people point to married priests because they think that will stop sexual abuse of children. People focus on sex because for news agencies it sells a lot of money! We do notice many priests who are living a solitary life. They are practically moving bodies but dead in their minds. Others who travel most of the time. Some who embrace luxuries. Others who are simply walking study books which amply shows the negative effects of forced celibacy. The list goes on and on.

Our main point of view has remained the same. Most of the apostles were married. Are we going to follow the bible or are we going against it? They do quote the bible profusely in other moral matters, yet about this one they are so silent! Why? If the apostles did it, why not the priests of today? Or are we like a supermarket: we pick up what we like in the church?!

Having married priests we hope it will bring the focus of the church on new challenges. One might be the complete overhaul of the relationship teaching (and not sex!). Strong and stable relationship calls for consequences which will help the priest to mature as he faces different challenges in life. One glaring example would be children. Taking care of your own children will bring a new insight in the life of the priest. Married priesthood will help the priest to reconnect with normal life with all its challenges. Consequently, the whole church will change. This is the revolution which we are looking forward to experience. In the end there will be winners all the way. All would feel much nearer to God. Everybody will experience the Emmanuel – God is with us! It would be interesting to visit a priest who has kids crying, eating and dirtying all the house whilst he is trying to communicate with God! It would be a good example of how to keep God in the centre of all activity!

It’s up to our readers to continue our reflection.

A living Crib: Priest with wife and child.

A living Crib: Priest with wife and child.

How beautiful is the image of a priest walking side by side with his favourite partner, friend, supporter, lover etc…..The married priest comes alive because of the love of his woman who understands all his needs and gives him full support. When his loving wife bears a child, it could become the living crib for other families. They would have a wonderful opportunity to give witness to the Betlehem experience by living its contemporary experience. The priest would acknowledge his feelings for one special person – his wife and in turn would get all the love and support he needs. His wife would become his best critic, supporter and the one to help him sort out many many things.  The child would welcome the priest to see the fruit of his own love. He would not only change the nappies but walk side by side with his child to experience all the wonders and pain of growing up. How beautiful such an image would be in the Catholic Church!

The statistics are there and they are proving to be the writing on the wall as the numbers of unmarried priests seem to dwindle every second in the Western Culture. Now the communities are feeling the effect of having less priests especially for Sunday gatherings. The church cannot continue not to hear, listen and not to see what’s happening in today’s world. In Holland they had the courage to offer solutions as well for the inevitable future…….

We have been on the side of married priests for at least 14 years. But we are not simply asking for married priesthood. We want more quality like what other people are asking for in many other sectors of life. We want a change in the teaching of the church and not just concerning married priesthood. We firmly believe that giving priests the choice of getting or not getting married should prove to be a good step forward. With the experience of marriage, many priests would experience a change in their priorities. Consequently there would be a change in ALL the teaching of the church.

Sadly, we heard just one story of a priest who left the church and joined another one when he was wrongly accused of something which he never did. He didn’t have a fair trial (which should be a must in the Catholic Church).  We heard many similar stories. Unfortunately very few of them are published so people might think it’s once in a blue moon. Actually it’s not because most of the married priests were more futuristic in their thinking when they acted as unmarried priests. Being different brings about a lot of criticism. In many cases they kill the messenger before discussing the message.

They can avoid dealing with married priests now, but they cannot run away all the time. We firmly believe that one day, the Catholic Church of the Latin Rite would open its doors for married priests. Have a merry Christmas and prosperous New Year but most of all look for living cribs in your local community or online! We are ready to distribute the Holy Sacraments to all!