Tag Archive: priest cummed in front of webcam


There is the classical example of a half filled or half empty glass. How do you view it? Half full or half empty?

It’s the same with the situation of the world today. Do you see it as something negative or as something positive? I don’t mean sickness itself but rather pointing to our lifestyle these last weeks. It’s incredible because although the internet has been present in our life for quite a time, yet it seems that most people are realising that we can do lots of actions online! There has been a proliferation of online courses, tips, dancing, home made recipes etc…Our life is heavily relying on the internet whether we like it or not! Some people have gone one step further as they have predicted that our life is never going back to ‘normal’. Whether this statement is true or not, yet we are truly grasping the power of the internet, at least for the time being.

Last time we criticised that the Roman Catholic church as it simply uses the internet to transmit the live celebration of the mass. We urged the church to go beyond just celebrating the sacraments and start using the method and language used by the online community.

What about us? We’ve been publishing the blog for a long time now [not less than 22 years now]. We can’t be full time on this blog as it won’t pay our bills plus other necessities! But what about our readers? Today I’m just publishing lots of links to do an online course about theology and/or Pastoral Studies. If you want to participate in the parish, you can’t do it if you’re not qualified! Hence let’s make the best use of the time inside our houses by attending any course which might help us in running the parish!

Please remember that most parishes don’t have enough people to manage their daily needs. There are a lot of posts to be filled. In fact most of the parishes are closing down because there aren’t enough people to take responsibility. We can’t simply criticise and do nothing. That’s not Christian at all! Let’s start….

I’m supplying some links but you can find others too. Happy browsing!

Please keep safe by following a healthy lifestyle and a by having a good dose of vitamin C.

I don’t have in mind to become a doctor or else to give medical advice on what to do or how to prevent the coronavirus! Yet as a married priest I can’t help it, in writing about some parallel lines with our basic idea of married priesthood.

Fear. If languages divide us, yet one common language was seen throughout the whole world these last weeks: FEAR. When people are afraid, one is surprised what they might do. The case of the corona beer which clearly has nothing to do with the sickness has been victimised…just because it has the corona name, many people are not buying it any more!!! It’s incredible, yet when fear takes over, common sense goes out!

What did we do as a Catholic Church for so many years? The fear of death and hell has made many people submissive to our teachings. I do know of cases where at the point of death, some people have left all their possessions to the church in the belief that they would have won heaven!! Alas, their children might have gone hungry or became poor in the meantime!

In this context, now I do see why so many people are afraid to share their stories of love with a priest. Fear takes over. Even though we promise to change any details in order to protect their identity. How can we liberate these people from the slavery of fear?

Now I do understand what a friend of mine used to say: fire does not kill many people. Panic does! In fact many people in a fire die because of panic and not of fire in itself! Who hasn’t seen the crowds in the supermarkets where some people came to blows in order to buy basic items? Some psychologists called it the fear of the unknown.

Some people panic when the priest declares himself to be married. They want to stay but their panic takes control and they go to a ‘normal church’ to get married or to get baptised. There isn’t an adult faith. It’s just convenience! They are not born fighters! A married catholic priest is an unknown entity in their religious background! It’s fear of the unknown!

Look how people invaded some supermarkets and bought more than enough portions of basic needs! Some people rightly say that the longest journey in the world is not a geographical destination but rather the I to become WE! The supermarkets gave enough proof that we need to work more on community feeling and understanding. It’s one of the main missing type of work in many parishes! We still find it too difficult to leave behind the factory of sacraments to start community building as a main issue in parish work.

One of the expressions which is has become fashionable is the internet of things. Well, in some countries they have been locked in. It goes without saying that many people have to revert to the internet to spend their time and/or to communicate and/or to buy some necessities. We are experiencing a social experiment where we are practically living just with our family members. All other people are ‘virtual’.

Well, many parishes and priests have been caught on the wrong foot. How many of them can use the internet in order to proclaim the Good News? Although many of them have social media accounts, yet they have never used the internet as a medium for their work! They still relied on churches to meet people. Yet, people, especially the young ones, are practically 24/7 on the internet. Shall the coronavirus scare teach them a lesson to start using the internet more? Can we use it for the married priesthood? This was one of our thoughts at the beginning and it still is. We weren’t allowed space in a ‘normal parish’. We didn’t find it a problem because we already knew that the internet would have gained more popularity. Consequently we would meet more young people online rather than in a ‘normal church’!! One has to note that the internet is not to be used simply as a space for mass or for other lecture type of work!!

Within the virtual world, how can we enhance the sense of community? This is going to be our next challenge. People meet online, easily. Yet it doesn’t turn them into a community. One of them is the exchange of views or ideas. We do need to respect others especially when we do not agree. We can’t call others names! We cannot judge others. We have to see the frail, human face behind the monitor or the written message.

The work of community building is a never ending job. It’s not always full of roses, although even roses have thorns! We need to have more people who believe that as a community we can achieve more and better. One, on his own, cannot achieve much.

Going alongside the big wave

One of the things which effects our society is that without knowing it we are living as if in separate compartments! How many times we notice people eating at a restaurant, yet they talk very little, all glued to their mobile phones? Others on a train, bus etc… all searching on their mobile phone. What’s happening to our society? In this change of humanity it’s going to be extra difficult to explain to people about any subject. We do remember nostalgically the times when we used to have arguments on a bus or any other public place. Yet, most of us are silent, reading on our mobile phones. Most probably we are just updating ourselves about the latest gossip or non-significant news!

As always, more than crying or reminiscing about the past, we have to live today. How can we turn the internet in our favour? In this sense, we are not without hope. This blog has started being unnoticed for the first few years. Where are we now? We have hundreds of followers without spending one dime in publicity! It’s the quest for information which has brought so many followers. Every women falling in love or meeting the priest who shows more than just some interest, are going to start thinking and looking for other people having similar experience/s. Although the internet was promoted for free views, there are very few spaces on the internet which openly discuss love with a priest!

Our aim is not simply to attract women having relationships with priests, but rather the general public. First of all we need the help of all our readers! Everybody nowadays has at least one social account! If one shares our thoughts on social media, we would be making our presence felt. Today we can do publicity without asking big companies to do this job. Personally we don’t like big companies not only because we have to fork out a hefty sum of money but rather because we don’t like large crowds. We need the right people instead. In other words, we need people who are not brainwashed. Experience have taught us that it’s useless to spend time arguing with some people especially in the Catholic Church.

One big asset is the big link people feel about married priests. He is married too. He has kids. He faces the same challenges! The people already feel that this change should be made possible in the church. So what are we afraid of?

Besides another great asset is the consequence of married priests. Just looking at past history in theology we see that most of the time we have discussed issues which were so important for non-married priests, yet they had little relevance in the life of the married people which always formed the biggest group in the church! The married priest does not need any conference or wake up call to investigate the family today. He is facing such challenges on a daily basis!

As we would be conducting dialogue on the internet, we expect the repetition of old ideas. Can the priest have a family and minister to the people? Well it has become a joke lately. If one just looks at churches in the Western part of the world, one cannot ignore the fact that most churches are empty. So why are we continuing this lie of a priest who has a lot of work to do??!! It’s an open secret that the sacrament of reconciliation has practically disappeared for most people! Mass has lost its attraction to so many people. In fact it’s not uncommon to hear people saying that they skip mass regularly. There are many other experiences which prove that the so called traditional work in the church is getting less and less.

The married priest movement has the power to present the teaching of the church [including some significant changes] from the point of view of a married person who is trying to teach his own sons and/or daughters who are growing up and challenging every sign of law, obedience and tradition!

In any case we are firmly convinced that nobody can stop the big wave. We can postpone it for some time, but one day it will take over. Married priesthood is a must for the Catholic Church today.

Churchgoers and the unchurched!

Young people struggle to find their place on earth. They have to get to know themselves really well in order to find what are they going to do with their own lives. Consequently they’ll find the right job and then hopefully, the right partner!

I see something similar in the church. We all know that life has changed drastically. We see things differently for various reasons. What about the church? Well many people have left. Others have stayed. Yet, on what level do they participate? Most of them simply follow the same timetable and principles for ages. Others are contrary to any change. Surveys have shown that most people who are still attending church, are in their majority ‘conservative’ people. It means that they oppose great changes for whatever reason! Some of these people would like to remove Pope Francis just because they think he is taking away the old teaching of the church. Well, they are truly ignorant of the gospel because most of the apostles were married!! See https://www.thedailybeast.com/vatican-may-approve-married-priests-but-conservative-catholics-arent-celebrating

So can one expect great changes? I don’t think so because the most people who are the right agents for change have long left. So who can make changes after all? Sincerely we don’t have an answer!

This is in part the society of today: we wish to make changes yet no one would like to be in the midst of the struggle! When we were young they used to tell us the story of the mice and the big, ferocious cat. The mice had their meeting in order to put a bell around the neck of the cat. After hours of discussion, one old mouse, in a soft voice just asked: Who is going to put the bell around the cat’s neck? Silence fell. It’s useless that we would like changes to take place if we abandon the church!

I know from experience that going for church’s meetings it’s not the most interesting job of the world. Sometimes one has to meet lots of old people (with all due respect to the old ones whom we cherish a lot). Most of them seem to be stuck in the 1900s! We see the usual faces. Very rare to see new ones! Besides, the young ones are not easy to make them attend besides the 1001 appointments that they have to attend to!

To add insult to injury, in the world, in a generic sense, there is a lot of prejudice or ignorance of what the true religion says! So many valid persons who have lots of talents, won’t come to church owing to prejudice, ignorance or outright hate of all that pertains to the religious world! This is one of the most challenging visions of the church. How can we bring back the lost majority? What kind of teaching do we present? What are people looking for?

Again we present the married priest as a one who is living in the world today! He has the right mixture to be an ambassador to many young, adults or non-believers. The fact that they see him struggling with everyday normal timetables, would be a great asset. As Pope Paul the sixth once wrote: the world doesn’t need preachers but rather people who testify with their own lives!

We are always looking for different opinions. We always encourage our readers to take an active part by writing their opinion. Our blog tried to give freedom of speech to everyone especially those passing through such experience. Nobody is going to judge you! We just share our experiences. Than it’s up to the person to decide what to do. Let’s listen to today’s story. The story is told by G Pramod Kumar.

Barely two years after it was slammed by “An Autobiography of a Nun” that catalogued the lurid details of bullying, sexual abuse and homosexuality,”the Catholic Church in Kerala is set for another attack by a former nun.

Sixty-eight-year-old Sister Mary, who left her Catholic congregation in Kerala 13 years ago in disgust after 40 years of nunhood, is ready with her exposé. In a biographical sketch titled Nanma Niranjavare Swasthi, she heaps more ignominy on the Church.

Sister Mary talks in vivid detail about the extreme pain she had to endure during her tenure with the congregation: physical and psychological oppression, the sexual permissiveness and abuse prevalent among some of the nuns and priests,  and the harassment she faced for sticking to her values and commitment to service.
She also talks about the miserable sense of abandonment, rather than sacrifice or service, that some of the nuns feel. For the Catholic church in Kerala which is already under attack with a wide range of allegations ranging from oppression of its nuns, abuse, suicides and inappropriate sexual behaviour, the new book will certainly be further bad publicity.

Two biographical accounts; one by Jesme Raphael who gave up the nun’s robes after 26 years of service (2009) and another by a male priest, KP Shibu Kalaparambil who left after 24 years in white (2010); had in the recent past, dented the reputation and order of the Catholic Church. Both of them had explosive revelations including sexual exploitation of women and men.

In her memoirs Sister Mary, born in the Palai area of eastern Kerala, describes how she wanted to be a nun at the age of 13 and ran away from home to a Catholic congregation. Although she “found her path of service at the altar of the god”, what awaited her was four decades of hardship, betrayal and absolute disappointment.
Unable to take it anymore, she abandoned her robes in 1999 but continued her service to humanity by establishing a modest orphanage at Wayanad in north Kerala. According to Jose Pazhukaran, the writer who helped Mary put together the memoir, she literally begs door-to-door to raise the resources for her orphanage. “She is now doing what she couldn’t accomplish as a nun – to serve humanity and be a mother to abandoned children,” says Pazhukaran.

“There was a lot of unbearable pain and humiliation. Some ran away, some committed suicide. I endured all the pain because of the priest’s words at my first communion as a nun – you should be ready to follow the path of Jesus Christ. These words are still throbbing in my heart and that is why I am a mother of orphans,” says Sister Mary.

Translations of one chapter of the book is given below:

Raping fathers
Those who didn’t oblige the priests were always in trouble. They get pained in some way or the other. Some think that the oath of discipline that you take while accepting the nun’s robe is to be subservient to such men.
Such an incident happened to me as well. As somebody who had thought of Jesus Christ as the only saviour since the age of six, this experience pained me immensely.
This incident, in which a priest tried to molest me and I hit him with a wooden stool in self defence, became a big issue at the congregation. Although I was the one outraged, in their eyes, I was the culprit. The unwritten rule was: whatever the priests did, nobody could question them.
I was only twenty then.

The incident happened at the Chevayaoor convent. There was this practice of serving breakfast to the priests after the morning communion. Sometimes, it was sent to the church. The nuns needed to take turns to cook for them and serve them.
I used to get nervous whenever my turn came because I wasn’t good with cooking and would certainly be criticised for that. Nobody used to help me or advise me. Instead, they seemed to get some vicarious pleasure by pointing out the mistakes. I used to find it very painful.
Okay, let’s get into the incident. Once, I was assigned to cook and serve a priest who finished the communion (I don’t want to name him though). I went to the dining hall with egg curry and ‘appam’. He came in, washed his hands and bolted the door before taking his seat.
He asked me to serve; but sensing some mischief, I stayed away. When he persisted, I started shivering with fear. At that moment, I deeply hated the rule that one should obey whatever the priests orders.

The priest got up, came to me and grabbed my hands. Don’t you know all this, Sister Mary? he asked.

When I cried, he tried to pull me close to his chest. I relieved myself and ran, but he chased me around the table. I really got wild as I used to do when I was a child on such situations. I got hold of a wooden stool in front of me and hit him hard.

It fell on his head and he started bleeding profusely. I got both sad and scared although I did it in self-defence – he was a priest. I screamed in fear and rushed out of the room and told everyone what happened. But most of them appeared indifferent and started scolding me.

“What did you do, are you out to shame the congregation?”

When they went into the room , the priest was on his chair, speechless and drenched in blood. He was taken to the Kozhikode medical college hospital where it was reported that he fell in the bathroom.

I was the target of tremendous ire after that incident. When everybody walked away from me as if I was a proclaimed offender I prayed hard. But when I realised that it was the way things worked, I really got scared that I was trapped in serious danger. Since then, I was marked; a thorn in the flesh for the congregation.
Opposing wrongdoing was my character and that was the reason for all the conflicts that I faced in life as a nun. I wasn’t ready to blindly accept the priests and the church without looking at their deeds.

Sensing the situation I was in, Father Peter called for me one day. I told him every thing. I cried a lot in front of him. He consoled me and advised me to handle the Church and people with restraint.

But, the other nuns by then had branded me as a rogue. Nobody pointed out what was the ground for my disobedience. Since then, I was a nuisance for them. Sister Betty was the only consolation.

Since I was termed disobedient right from my stay at the novitiate, my nunhood had to wait for six months. The priests believe that they had the complete control of the nuns. They believe that they are the ultimate owners of the Church, its properties and the believers.
When people get sexually exploited, their belief gets affected; that is what is happening now. Some people commit suicide when they are unable to cope with this reality.

The priest who was hit by me is a good friend now and calls me often to enquire about my well-being. He also tells me that my response has reformed him. If you want to buy the book, you can write to this email address.

Nanma Niranjavare Swasthi
Malayalam
106 pages
Rs. 85
Kairali Books Kannur, Kerala
(akammasika@gmail.com)