Tag Archive: priest fondles breasts


Women haters

2018…new year and new expectations. Many people are already asking: is this the year in which Pope Francis will allow married priests?

We are used to times, dates and schedules. Well the Holy Spirit does not work in a time frame! Surprisingly He knows when it’s the best time to help the church grow in certain aspects. We are all in a journey. We grow through experiences, thoughts, questions, encounters, prayer, reflection etc…

We can’t promise anybody that this year we’re going to have married priests officially. But it doesn’t mean that if not, the process would have been stopped! In a flick of a second, what is considered impossible may become possible! Let’s remember that very hard experience of Moses. Who would face the pharoah (like a powerful king), to tell him to liberate the slaves? Facing the pharoah could have meant death…let alone proposing such an out of the box question!! It took him a long time to let the people of God out of Egypt, yet at one moment he seemed to have said yes…only to change his mind again after a few days!

Moses did face a lot of challenges in driving the people of God out of Egypt. They faced enormous tasks including that of feeding a large crowd in the desert. Yet in the end, after a very tough journey and a long time, they did reach destination.

That’s our hope today. One day or another, the Catholic Church cannot survive without priests. It cannot deny reality anymore if it wants to survive! Married priests will bring about a new reflection on the teaching of the church. They will be the necessary tool in order to bring about some necessary and urgent changes in the church.

On other hand, some of our readers, who are so impatient to see the changes in the church in a very short time, do not know the background of the Catholic Church. Believe it or not we are progressing. Let’s have a look to see at what stage we were just a few years ago. I’m sure some of you will feel very bad at reading some of the texts. As we’ve been writing for quite some time, the women haters in the church have been at the top position for too many years. We need to remove the old mentality first, before we see the benefit of a woman who accompanies her priest to make him more holy!

These are some of the texts below which show the dominant position of women haters who interpreted everything according to their own philosophical-theological understanding!

“Women were created essentially to satisfy the lust of men .” “I do not allow women to teach, nor to take authority in front of their husbands, but to be silent.” (Saint John Chrysostom)

” Women should not be illustrated or educated in any way, in fact, they should be segregated, as they are causes of insidious and involuntary erections (!) In male saints.” “The woman is an inferior being and is not created in the image and likeness of God.” It corresponds, then, to justice, as well as to the natural order of humanity, for women to serve men, just order only occurs when the man commands and the woman obeys “(Saint Augustine)

“If the woman does not submit to the man, who is her head, she becomes guilty of the same sin as a man who does not submit to Christ.” ” Nothing more impure than a woman in the period . impure “(San Jerónimo)

“The woman is inferior to the man in virtue and in dignity” . “In everything that refers to the individual is defective and badly born, because the active power of the male seed tends to produce a perfect resemblance in the male sex, while the production of a woman comes from a lack of active power ” (Saint Thomas of Aquino)

As usual we welcome readers to continue growing in their faith by sharing their thoughts.

Advertisements

My Testimony

My name is Louise Ouellet and I am from Canada. I would like to tell you a little bit about my story and what I am trying to do about mandatory celibacy. It was during the fall of 1995 along with my twin children of three years old and my husband whose life has been shortened by the HIV virus, I was walking toward my new church in this huge metropolis where we started a new life.

As I entered this magnificent building with breathtaking frescoed architecture, I never would have thought that a man wearing the Roman collar, someone who is married to the Church, was going to upset my little imperfect but quiet world. As I was watching him walking back and forth to get things ready for mass, I got hit with a huge wave of what instantly submerged to my very soul into a pool of pure overwhelming love.

He walked at a brisk pace in the large corridor that ran along the rows of carved wooden benches. As he approached the row where I sat, our eyes met – it was love at first sight. I felt as if I had always known him, but at that point, I did not even know his name. The only details I had were his exceptional height, blue eyes and a smile that lit up his whole beautiful face.

Despite this new indescribable feeling that came over me, I felt much guilt as I thought about my husband. The service ended, and I returned home with my family, determined to forget this incident and dismiss this new feeling.

From one Sunday to the next this uncontrollable love got the better of my reason. I wanted to know more about this man that stirred my soul and my heart. So, I decided to let events flow to open the door to friendship. I wanted to discover, without it being obvious, whether what I felt was mutual.

During this time, my husband’s health deteriorated quickly, and I felt overwhelmed. Since he did not take the drugs needed to stabilize the disease, we found ourselves faced with evidence that he had only months to live – now he had contracted full-blown AIDS.

I asked the support of the man of my heart, in his position as a priest, to accompany us on this painful journey. He nodded reassuringly and gave us all the support we needed during the illness, death, and funeral of my husband.

Now a widow, the relationship became increasingly close between us. Not two days would go by before we would call or meet each other. As insignificant as it could be, any excuse was good enough to see each other. The desire to kiss and to say how much we were in love was evident but neither of us dared to confess it.

Months had passed without anything physical happening between us, I felt his prudence and especially his fear despite his desire. One day, after having hinted that he contemplated marriage, I began to see my dream coming true. He seemed ready to take the step. There was now no barrier between us – my happiness was at its peak.

One day, his superiors realized that something was wrong. They saw that the morale of my beloved priest had been low in the recent months. He had confided to his spiritual director, revealing that he suffered from loneliness. With the help of a pretentious friend of ours, they quickly found the culprit for an inconvenient truth, for them, and could see that we were in love. They decided to separate us by imposing on him severe restrictions, of which I had no right to know the details. As for me, I was pushed aside without explanation nor support. I could quickly see that no one cared about the excruciating pain I felt.

The only thing I knew is that he was forbidden to talk to me or to my children and he was obligated to give them all my personal letters and emails, after which they would read; violating my privacy. One of them took me to his office and tried to intimidate me and mocked me about my letters. I felt so humiliated.

To keep me away from the man I loved, they began to destroy my reputation, to intimidate me and to spread rumors of ‘scandal’ among some parishioners, who were quick to judge and harass me. Meanwhile, my priest wept as much as I did, which added to my pain. I tried to fix things, but the more I tried, the worse the situation became embittered.

After twelve years of harassment and suffering, my health deteriorated due to stress and traumas that I was enduring for so long. I couldn’t beat the depression, so I decided to move far away, leaving behind the man of my life for whom I could do nothing. We never had the chance to kiss or to hold hands. We never made love.

After much therapy, I managed to go through mourning. I could forgive his superiors and some parishioners and make peace with the situation. It’s been 19 years since he was forced into silence, but the love is still in our hearts and the hope is still alive for the Church to exchange mandatory celibacy for the freedom of choice-optional celibacy. Even if this change was to come too late for my beloved priest and myself, at least it will be for the benefit of future generations.

Even if I terribly miss my beloved, I am presently in a good place in my life. I have learned with time to love myself enough to let go and appreciate life as it is. The love that I feel has grown to be an unconditional love; I believe that God, the Great I Am, is love… therefore, there is no barriers, no laws, no distance and time to stop us from loving each other. The day that I was awakened and embraced this fact, I was free from the pain. Now, I take time for myself and I share the wisdom that I salvaged from this traumatic experience in a comforting form of support for others.

One of my ways to give my support was by writing a book to share my story and bring awareness about the consequences of mandatory celibacy. It was released this summer and it is called Forbidden to Love-Pure Hearts Crushed Under the Law of Celibacy.

Also, 3 years ago, I created a website (http://forbidden-to-love.com) to give my support to the others who are going through the same thing as I did. There is so many of us, women, children and priests with heart-wrenching stories… My heart is broken for every single story that I read. It gives me the courage to keep on trying to make a difference even if sometimes it is only a word of encouragement.

In this present moment, I launched a petition to request the abolition of mandatory celibacy and to have the right to vote during the Synod. If you wish to sign and share it in your social media and in your community, you can follow this link:
https://www.change.org/p/pope-francis-vatican-help-us-abolish-the-mandatory-celibacy-law-in-the-catholic-church
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Besides, Louise has published all her story in an ebook form. For more details visit her website. Thanks Louise for publishing your story. You have already helped so many people. Let’s talk, let’s write. Let us not put this challenge under the carpet. The Catholic church has suffered a lot because of celibacy. Let’s make it optional. Let us not divide Christ present in the sacrament of matrimony and the sacrament of the Holy Orders! Both of them are sacraments! Both of them nourish the soul.

My name is Audrey. My priest’s name is Joe. I’ve had a massive crush on one of the younger priests at my parish for several years now (for the record, I’m 26 and he’s 31). A while back, I asked him to be my spiritual director, and since then, he’s answered many of my questions and concerns and helped me discern several personal issues I’ve been struggling with. On the surface, our relationship overall has been reasonably normal. However, I’m “secretly” absolutely head over heels for him, and it’s not solely because he’s a priest as I’ve never crushed on any other clergy (I work for the parish, so I know/have known/have interacted with many.) In fact, he’s the only person I’ve truly been attracted to in over 7 years.

Earlier this week, he and I were teasing each other, apart from a major difficulty I’ve been facing recently (my desire for power/control, facilitated by lust – which is directed at him [but i didn’t mention that bit]), and it led down some…rather spicy rabbit holes. I was caught off guard when he asked for details (again, I didn’t mention him in those details at that point), and he seemed intrigued by what I told him about various kinky fantasies I have, such as feeling an immensely pleasurable rush at the thought of choking someone [him]..although in retrospect he was probably searching for the reasons for the lust so we could work on resolving them. Needless to say, I answered with gusto, but, as you can imagine, my problem has gotten considerably worse because the conversation wildly prodded my lust-buttons. No joke at all. I had to restrain myself from leaping up and kissing (!) him there and then. Notwithstanding, I kept my cucumber coolness as well as I could, and our session ended with prayers as usual.

Armed with plenty of new, nasty thoughts, and eager to continue our discussion, I asked to see him a few days later. When we sat down in his house again, I was completely giddy, and my heart was pounding as I fidgeted nervously on the couch. I began by saying that I wanted to clarify some of the things we’d talked about the last time. I looked him dead in the eye and told him those crazy thoughts were all about him, and that I love him.

To my surprise, he wasn’t taken aback. He said he had known already. Friends, I’m not subtle, and I’m a flirt machine when I see somethin’ I like. Nonetheless, I fully expected him to tell me to leave and that we could never meet again – but, he said it was ok for me to stay as long as I promised to work on resolving my over-arching problems with control. He also candidly admitted that it’s “happened before” (?) and that, of course, he can never marry…which was amusing because I only said that I loved him, not that I wanted to marry him. But alas. we ended with prayers, and I audaciously asked for “a hug…just a small one?” he complied with palpable reluctance. It was so worth it.

That last session left me feeling enormously conflicted. I had initially assumed that, in my head, we had “broken up” and I’d to move on…but instead, it’s intensified my desire for him another hundredfold, fuelled by his continued offer to help me find peace (his own words.) I’ve seen him since then – at Mass a few times and reconciliation – and he doesn’t seem annoyed, disturbed or otherwise affronted by me. However, I feel that our dynamic has changed: we catch eyes more than we did before my affection-confession, but that’s probably just me being extra weird.

As with the rest of you ladies (and gents), I know this has been and continues to be an exercise in futility, and I would honestly be mortified to strip the Church of one of her priests (and an exceptional one at that), and yet, the selfish lasciviousness blazes on, and I can only look forward to the next time we have an uncomfortably awkward interaction.

I wish to thank our contributor for this week. Thanks to some people who are not afraid of sharing, we can move on in our spiritual journey. To you dear readers to discuss (peacefully) our last romantic story on this blog. Happy Reading!

Rev Father has a baby!

Hello! This is Aj from the Philippines which has a large number of Roman Catholics. I’ve been looking for this site because I want to share my feelings and story too. I need some advice so I can move on and know what to do. I’m a Director in my company and a nurse by profession so currently I’m a health advocate and sharing true health to all people. One day a friend of mine referred me to a Major Seminarian School, so maybe I could offer them my products. At first I was very shy because it was my first time to go there, meeting seminarians and Priests. But it was all good.

Then one Day they invited me to visit again the seminary school for there was a birthday party, probably a luncheon together with the seminarians and all priests who resided in that school. On that day we were about to start the birthday party when a Guy about 5’7 in height came out from the office downstairs and with a smile, of course I smiled back. In my mind ” Hmm He’s cute and Handsome” All I knew he was just one of the ordinary people destined to meet that day but to my surprise, He was the Birthday Boy and what hurt me was he was a Priest. Well, nothing is special, I just let the idea go by the wind. So, I greeted him with a Happy B’day Father!

I ate lunch with the seminarians and all the residence priest together. And I just left the place for almost a year… then it was one month of Sept.2016 when I went back to that place to sell our products because it was already my deadline to pay bills and credit cards so I went there. This B’day Boy, ” The Priest” that I once met was there again. I asked him to buy my products…. he he that was so embarrassing coz I’m selling it by force! And He offered me to lend me his money. I promised to return it back in due time. I ate my pride and took it! He was leaving for 2 weeks for his retreat in Baguio so we’ll see each other after that. We texted and having video call after his activity and before he was going back to bed till he came back after the retreat and planned to see each other. Finally he returned back after 2 weeks. To give thanks and for welcoming him again and secretly send him a bunch of flowers and balloons in the seminary school as a form of thank you and post b’day gift. He was really surprised that day because that was his first time to receive such a gift like that. And he knew it came from me. Ha ha it was my first time to do that too. Ah well I’m in a long distance relationship for 3 years now to my Fililippino bf who’s in America, had never had the chance to see each other personally just in skype, fb and social media.

To cut it short, I’m single for almost 8 years after my first boyfriend and next was this LDR for 3 years. So, for me that “killing factor in tagalog” or goosebumps and attraction every time I saw this Priest is really breathtaking for I used to be alone every time. Back to that roses I gave him, He thanked me a lot and he even cried for he never received one ever since” Well, you’re a Priest that’s why! He he.. We agreed that “to fall in love with each other is a BIG NO NO! For us because we are just friends and it’s a wrongful act If it ever does happen then we need to move away from each other. The communication continues… then one day he invited me to attend his mass in cabugao, so i decided to go. He invites me to eat at the parish in order for me to introduce my products to the other priests but i refused. I told him that I’ll just meet him outside. After his dinner he gave me a lift at 711 and decided to stay together to have some catch ups! I was really nervous and excited that time because the feeling was really good and it was so overwhelming. We don’t know what happened next till we just discovered that we are already in a certain place, private place, private room, to be exact like normal couple and Yes! We kissed, We hugged and We made Love. We stayed together till morning! Things happened so fast. I couldn’t explain my feelings. We bid goodbye after that 1st time that we made love. The communication continues… and it gets deeper and deeper especially from the moment when he said “I LOVE YOU”, and of course just to be honest to myself I said “I LOVE YOU Too”.

After the first time we continued seeing each other every Sunday or anytime as long as we wanted to meet. The feelings gets deeper and deeper like normal couples who used to made love and share happy moments together. For almost one year of having together we had a Baby Julian and he thanked me a lot for giving him the opportunity to give him a child. We love each other so much that one time he told me to leave his ministry for us, his family. I told him to decide well because it will be a BIG decision. He cried every time he’ll see our picture with our baby. He wanted to be with us normally but just can’t.

A few months from now he’ll be leaving to Australia, he promised me that he’ll be with us very soon. My mom knew already that he’s the Father of my Baby and accepted it. Now we don’t know what to do. He’s 6 years in service to God. He pursued his Priesthood because he bargained to God that if his mom survived the brain tumour then He would serve him forever…but now, I was already on the scene and our Baby. Do you have any advice about us? Please help, we love each other so much.

I remind everybody that comments which judge or try to bully this woman will simply not be tolerated. But besides that. This case has a new revelation. The priest now is a biological father of a baby. This changes everything. He has the legal and moral duty to take care of his own baby. Now excuse can be used in order not to take care of the baby. He can’t simply hide and go away. Let’s continue following this case. Let’s all be one in our online community by helping Aj to have a proper care for her baby.

A Spanish love story

My name is Cris and I’m from Spain. I will refer to “my” priest as Father A. I have been thinking about sharing my story for a while but, at times it was too painful to keep thinking about it and feeling alienated because falling in love with a priest is not something common, at times, I’ve felt alone and even ridiculous. However, I’m glad there is a safe space where I can share my story with people who’s been there. I’m not going to get into details because there are too many but I will try my best to be as accurate as possible. Thank you in advance for listening.

I met the priest on February last year. I was a college student and I had to take extra credits and through a friend I took a class on Theology, which I love. There I met him. I was 27 and he was 36. I really liked him on the spot because he was very charismatic, goofy, awkward, smart and he seemed a genuinely kind person. I don’t think he paid much attention to me those days. However, in April we met by chance at a college event and we started talking. Everything was fine and normal. Then summer came and we both parted ways. Next semester I went back to college and I texted him because I really wanted to be friends with him and we met. Nice but very formally.

He later told me that we could go someday to have coffee or something and I immediately agreed. For me it was normal having a coffee with a friend. He happened to be a priest and had a right to have friends like any other human being. At the coffee shop we talked about life and stuff and when we were to part ways when he gave me a present: a book he had previously lent me. I admit that I was shocked and glad. I did not know what to think about it. I thought “well he is a priest, he is just being generous because he sees I’m a little alone.” Inside I was falling hard for him. Later that month I had to admit of having loving feelings and I thought to myself: this is shitty, but if there is a possibility of him liking me, I have to try. So months later (yes, I was a very insecure person back then), I asked him for coffee and he said yes. So we finally met and we talked normally and I thought, for how the conversation was going, that he was trying to push me back. I was sad but ok, but before we parted ways we went for a small walk around campus (it was dark) and when we were alone he took my hand and interlocked his fingers with mine. I was, again, shocked and I did not know what to do but i felt so happy that I just went with the flow. We kept talking but we did not talk about what that meant or about feelings. We parted normally, but i was still in hock and, because of all my insecurities, I did not know what to think because he also did not text me or anything.

Since that moment what we call here hot and cold treatment started between us. At points I thought I was over analysing things but one day I was brave enough and, after a day full of flirting, asked what we were doing. At first he denied it and said that it was me that flirted too much but then he had to admit it was also him. He said that yes, that he was attracted to me but he was not going to leave anything, that was his life. I understood but what hurt me the most was that for a long time he tried to justify all his actions, saying things like he was just a man, that he was having a tough time in his life, etc. We finally kissed, he told me to please leave him, that he did not want to fail his vows. He even told me that when we are in Heaven he would look for me to be together. I do not know if he was serious or if he just told me that just to leave him.

I felt that by justifying himself I had only been a scapegoat, that I meant nothing special to him and that I was ridiculed for having falling in love with him. To this day (and after many more things that happened that I’m not going to tell because it will take too long) I still have a hard time believing that he may have been in love with me, but not enough to try to go into real discernment. I do know if he actually had a crisis in his ministry because of us, but it was not important enough to do a real and serious discernment and just give us a try. Deep down I do understand that it’s his life and vocation, but after so many failed relationships I really wanted to feel loved and cared by a man who is kind and gentle and who likes me back…we have not seen each other in three months and we rarely talk.

Last time we talked he told me he had very good memories of us and that I was not the only one who pursued the relationship. I felt a little bit better but still it is not enough for us being together.
I’m sorry for my English. I do not know what else to say.

I say that Cris described her relationship really well. Now the practical part: how can we help her? First and foremost let’s keep her in our prayers. Secondly, can we share our experience in order to help understand better how a woman-priest relationship goes?

I’m Annie and my priest’s name is Jack. I’ve been reading your blog for sometime now and I wanted to finally share some of my story (it’s okay to post this). It’s not very detailed but it’s enough. I met a priest in 2013 just before my husband left on a business trip. This trip was to last 5 months abroad. My husband is very kind, and I would say we have a good marriage. This priest was from an other parish filling in for our priest.

After my husband departed for his business trip, I filled my days with daily mass and volunteer work. In those days I would see this priest. There was an instant chemistry that I was very aware of. He was too. There was much eye contact, both catching and looking away and catching again. I felt that his homilies always spoke to me personally. I felt the hot and cold too at first. It would go from one week he’d “see” me and then the following week completely ignoring me. In those moments of being ignored I felt crushed. We didn’t speak much. I would email him occasionally asking for a Mass intention or pray for someone or something but nothing beyond that. 

Eventually, my husband returned home. The hot and cold and eye catching didn’t cease with the priest but seemed to increase. The day came when this priest was to return to his home parish. It was in our goodbye that set everything in motion. He expressed not wanting to leave and saying he wished we’d had more time together. We emailed in earnest after that day. Our correspondences was filled with double meanings…it was frustrating. I met with a few weeks later. It was at this time he expressed his love for me. I was so shocked and pleased all rolled into one.

Over the next several months we would meet and our closeness grew both emotionally and physically. Until he broke his promise of celibacy and I broke my marital vows. We continued this way for a year. We’d meet at different places, it would always end in us being intimate. At first i thought what we experienced in friendship and love was special, unique and true. But as time progressed the illusion of us being “meant to be” as he put it came crashing down.

I felt many times he wanted to know all about me but would share only bits and pieces about himself. He wanted to know and meet my friends and family but I was never to meet his. I would want to plan ahead, he would give me excuses for why he couldn’t. Then he would make palms with other friends and family. Yes, we’d text and call but my communication with him didn’t take priority. There would be days I wouldn’t hear from him. I would take time to ensure he knew I was thinking of him constantly, at the expense of spending that time and effort on my family. He would just say he was too busy or too tired….or just couldn’t. He would be jealous and it would cause arguments between us. He always wanted to advise me on my life and would get upset when I chose not to follow his guidance. It was like he wanted an observer rather than a participant in his life. He never seemed to understand actions speak louder than words. 

When I realized that the relationship would always be one of secrecy, one built on falsities, one that would never progress beyond a rendezvous, I couldn’t continue. I told him I just wanted to be friends. He wanted us to continue as we were…confiding in each other, communication, still seeing each other…everything but the physical contact. I couldn’t agree to that. It would be tempting to just fall back into what we were. So I cut everything off cold turkey. He hasn’t contacted me at all since I said no more to all of it. I sometimes get the urge to text him because it’s hard to stop all contact with someone after a year of constant communication but then I remember that he wasn’t mature enough to tell me goodbye. At first I was upset he didn’t contact me back, but now I am grateful. It has allowed me to make a clean break from him. 

Why do I want to share all this? Because after reading all the posts from women hoping against hope their priest will be different, I had to speak up. Aren’t we more than the little bit of time and attention they give us? Don’t we want more for ourselves? Someone who will fully commit to us? Their time, attention and love? Where when you meet or talk there isn’t an elephant in the room looming over head because of who and what he is? 

I’m mad at myself for listening to the flowery things he said. For not paying attention to his actions towards me. I feel I wasted the last couple of years on him to feel immense guilt and sadness. I remain married to my husband. I am constantly working to better myself and my marriage. 

It’s up to the readers to comment in order to make our blog very lively. Last week we had a record of 273 comments! Thanks to all who participated and made our blog truly unique. Every opinion counts! On the other hand we had some interesting news…The Pope is giving back authority to the local bishops to fix the liturgical translations. He is giving back authority to the local bishops. Remember that we need to pester our local bishops about married priests! Please do your part. Don’t lose faith. Let’s keep going. Don’t be afraid if they don’t answer or they seem to be very cold or indifferent. If we wish to testify about our Lord Jesus Christ, we need adults who are strong enough to withstand any coldness or bitterness! Some positive news (thanks to Maria from Italy)..the Hungarian bishops are asking for married priests!!! In the USA there is a local community who is asking for married priests!!!! Let’s unite and move forward…the future is not very far away!

The priest and today’s world

The media and the common people are very creative when they invent stories especially involving a priest who has just left. Most probably they give a reason to something that they find extremely hard to digest! The usual answer is that one left to get married!

Although in some cases it might ring true, yet in most cases, we encounter a different picture. The priest is not so happy with his surroundings, happenings or way of life. In the quoted article, one finds an ex seminarian (one who is studying for priesthood), who is not happy with the way of life the friars are living in the monastery. He feels very uncomfortable that whilst his mother has to make both ends meet, in his monastery there is a superfluous luxury notwithstanding the fact that they took the vow of poverty! The most important thing of all is that it has effected his spirituality. Although for others it may seem to be trivial, it cost him his place in the monastery. He couldn’t accommodate this divorce between what he believes and what he sees daily in the monastery.

One of the most terrible lies is that priests don’t get married because they need to be 24/7 for the people of God. Many years ago people used to call them to come and accompany people at their hour of death. Now that job is practically gone except maybe in hospitals. The problem with most priests is that they view their work according to the number of masses or sacraments they need to administer. In most parts of the Western world church attendance has gone down so practically they have much less work to do especially during weekdays. On the other hand circumstances have changed and most people are not be found during the traditional eight to five working shift.

Mass and sacraments have lost their magic touch for the common people. People need to be evangelised. People need a human contact with the church. They need to be taught many things about religion as they are ‘ignorant’ in most religious issues. Most probably they would get the wrong impression of the church because in many cases it’s mostly silent in the digital world! When people are passing through a difficult/loving phase in their lives, the church is mostly absent. Even attending mass, in most cases it is something very anonymous! This is a fact which seems not to preoccupy bishops when amalgamating parishes!

Most probably the biggest issue (which goes unnoticed by many), is that most priests, outside the sacramental world, they don’t know how to deal with it! The still don’t know the importance of building a real community in their parish. They were never trained how to do pastoral work properly (it is not simply the distribution of the sacraments). Pastoral work should culminate in the person finding Christ and building a personal relationship. Now before embarking on such an adventure, one needs to know the flock. There are various ways and means how to get to know the flock but the best one seems that of family visiting. It is physically demanding and time consuming, yet it yields the best results. It builds a good bond between the priest and the parishioners.

As priests are transferred from one parish to another, the parish council seems to be the most appropriate one in order to work hand in hand with the pastor. How are relations with the pastor? We can find various examples yet very few parishes provide professional teaching and caring for it. The parish council is another largely unknown ‘thing’ in the parish. Most people are never introduced to it. They never vote for it so how could it be an effective instrument in the hand of the parish?

Then there is the church in general. The priest comes into contact with many relationships, hidden or otherwise. Yet he is representing the church. In many cases there is an internal conflict between what the church believes and what the faithful are living. Some people prefer to ignore such conflicts. Others simply leave the church, others try to find a leeway. Many pastors know that such conflict is bound to get bigger all the time if the hierarchy (people at the very top of the church), do not live in the same conditions. Recently I had a discussion with some religion teachers. They were surprised that the church hasn’t changed her mind when it comes to contraceptives. The fact is that these religion teachers have taken a different answer to such challenge in their married life which is beyond that of the church. Now what about priests and their internal conflicts? How would they solve them?

We hope of providing some food for thought to our readers. As usual, we didn’t cover all that needs to be written down. But that’s a big plus for our readers to start writing immediately in order to provide more shades about the mentioned topic!

Recently the Pope himself said that maybe he won’t visit some countries as by that time there would be a new Pope! This is no new news. Many priests are very old. Will they live beyond 100 years? Most of them will surely die before reaching 90 years, maybe 80. It’s a time bomb that we knew about it a long time ago. Most of the priests serving today are over 60. So some mathematics will help us to get to know the future. Who will serve the parishes then?

We never had any doubts that married priests will form part of the future church. This is simply because of one reason: there won’t be enough priests. Even the most dogmatic and anti-married priesthood supporter will accept the fact that most parishes will become priest-less!!!

On the other hand, it seems that most non-married priests are still resisting the idea. Is it worthwhile to launch a ‘battle’ against such priests? They are still in power and they know how to play the game of authority. It would be a suicide. Most of today’s priests are never going to leave the comfort zone. We explained the various reasons in past issues. One can go back and see why it’s so difficult for a priest to start a new life as a married person.

Any other solution? Yes. This is the biggest change we need to do. Enough with waiting a higher authority to say yes. Let’s start today. How? By looking for the right people to manage a parish. There should be a never ending of list of people who have a kind heart and are ready to serve their community. How about encouraging them to take a leadership role? The challenge today is that if a religious community dies, it will be very difficult to substitute that kind of community with something else. Our communities will become anonymous when there is no unifying factor such as religion.

In practical terms, what does it mean? Well, managing a parish, besides involving managerial skills (which they might possess already), it calls for one to be well versed in theology. How about starting a course today? There are universities which offer evening courses in theology. Obviously this might a take a long time and it needs highly motivated people! That’s why we are suggesting the idea today, so that by the time the call for married priests comes out, they would be already qualified for the job!

What about the priests who left the parish are living their love dream? Well, seeing the needs of so many people, gives them authority to continue living their priesthood. They can start their own communities which will surely include many people who had left the community many years ago. Like Jesus in the gospel they will start discovering new people who live in the periphery of the church.

In one line, we can’t be critical about the Catholic Church without ourselves dirtying our hands in the process of helping out to create a new face for the church! Let’s work!

We were happy that most readers sent us quotations from newspapers about the Pope’s recent pronunciations about married priesthood. It seems that finally our readers are taking a more active role. This is the church we want to see worldwide. Baptised people are not simply receivers where they are happy to receive instructions from priests. They have a mind, a soul, a heart and a lot of experience how they experience God. Consequently, God can use anybody to bring changes in His church. This is not just theoretical but practical because the Pope is becoming aware that in most parts of the world, the church is disappearing simply because there is no one to tell people about the Good News. He has to resort to married people as otherwise the consequences could be disastrous.

This is a big improvement because now it’s coming from the mouth of the Pope. Obviously as usual some people are looking for more rapid changes in a shorter time. Some are completely against celibacy. Well we were never against celibacy. We are against celibacy when it is imposed and it is chosen at a very young age (over 18 years of age criteria is simply not enough!). Celibacy has its value in the church. We do believe that there are people who live celibacy in a wonderful way notwithstanding the sexual abuse crisis. Let’s not put all priests in one basket, although we do admit that these are very few.

Some people thought that the Pope would let his priests the liberty of choosing either to remain celibate priests or else get married. In this regard, it seems that he chose a conservative attitude by keeping things as they are. He is for married people who ask for priesthood and not priests who ask for marriage. There could be reasons for this: is he afraid that most priests would go for marriage? Indirectly is he saying that marriage might disrupt the spirituality of priests who are used to live alone? Is he afraid that maybe they need to pay more the priest because he has a family? Or maybe he is going after mature (of a certain age) married people, whose children are married and settled? Implying again that a true family (with young children) would hinder the priest from working in a parish? Again, one might imply that he is looking for mature people (of a certain age) in order to avoid more sex scandals?

On the other hand, calling people to join priesthood, means they need training. That means another challenge for seminaries (places where priests are trained). Are they going to join the celibate ones? Are they going to be trained in a separate place? What about the training years? How much do they need? So in practical terms we still have to wait for seven to eight years more to see married priests. In the meantime we have several priests who are not practising any more that could be called instantly where they can start to serve immediately. What’s wrong with going for this option?

We don’t know what’s inside the mind of the Pope but we were surprised that he let out his opinion with a newspaper. Is it the right channel to give out his views? Or maybe there are problems with the Vatican PRO system? What about the rest of the world? Aren’t there mature people who might give their opinion too? Or are we still in a pyramid where decisions are simply taken by those at the top? This is just one subject where the rest of the world thinks differently than those living inside the Vatican walls…..At least this Pope is more near us mortals, than the rest of the bishops, priests etc….

Again let’s not fall into depression. Let’s not give up! Let’s go for the hard work. We need to go out and share our opinion with the rest of the church. Let’s show them that we’re prepared. We need married priests even where there are a good number of priests. A married priest has a different charisma. He has something which others might not have. On the other hand, the needs of the baptised people are growing. People look out for God especially in dark moments. Where is the priest in such moments if they are so tied to the parish with all its activities? Like children in a family, today’s children need more attention and care then when we used to have sixes and sevens!! Same wise for the church. The church cannot do without a good number of priests, married and non-married ones in these days as the needs of the baptised people grow each day.

Our woman today is Dorothy. She was a former nun who became a policewoman (cop). She fell in love with a handsome and intelligent man (got his PhD), who happened to be a priest too. It seems that he presented himself as a priest who had left…but actually reading official documents, he didn’t leave at all. Like some other priests he wanted to have the best of both worlds: the married life and the celibate life!

This does not mean that all priests are like him. Some of the priests turn out to be wonderful fathers. Yet there is always a slight possibility that a priest is luring a woman for sex and just to have fun. It’s up to the mind of the woman to make sure that the priest is not playing at all. We are all in favour of married priests. Married means to stick to one woman and to take responsibility for one’s actions. We are NOT in favour of priests who just go around and use women for their own egoistic needs.

Where did you meet?

We met in Eldoret in 2005 at a convent where I was was being inculcated into sisterhood. Then based in Spain, Fr Oure had visited the convent on official assignment. The priest, however, showed interest on the first encounter.

What did he tell you when you met?

He lied to me about his exact role in church. Fr Oure would then make frequent visits to the nunnery, where he made sexual advances towards me.

When did you get married?

We married when I was 32 years old and he was 49, in December 2013, but we started experiencing problems barely three months into their marriage. He is a serial womaniser and his constant infidelity is the reason for our constant fights before we parted ways recently. I caught my husband in bed with another woman in our house in Nakuru’s Kasarani estate!

Do you have children?

Yes we have one son but I had miscarriage of our second child as this was caused by physical abuse by Fr Oure. He became so angry when I caught him on our matrimonial bed
with a prostitute!

What do you have in mind now?

I want to sue the church for damages as his order says that he is still ‘in’ the church.

Now for fairness sake, the priest is presenting a different version of facts but he didn’t deny sleeping with other women! So indirectly he had admitted to not being faithful. Like some other priests, he is not interested in marriage but in a concubine, where secretly he can have sex as much as he wants to! One can see the original article at: Article