Tag Archive: priest has a girlfriend


A very common expression used in these last years is that we have the whole world at our fingertips. It refers to the internet where one can use various electronic gadgets to keep updated about friends, news, articles and lots of other items.

Is it truly the whole world? Does somebody who stays inside all the time, enjoy life to the full? We know that the young of today are truly addicted to the internet. As they are connected 24/7, they wish to comment and read all the time. It’s not the first time in a restaurant to see a whole family busy texting on their mobile phone whilst not talking to each other!

Those working with the young people of today, know really well, that the virtual world, although it certainly has many advantages, it can never substitute 100% face to face relationships!

Why are we focusing on the digital world? There are some common points with our main issue: married priesthood. Like in the digital world, priests cannot discard relationships! The priest has been seen as a person who provides a service to the others. OK. But how about his need for an interactive relationship with another adult, who is not their ‘client’ to ask for his services but to be a companion in his journey of faith?

We have always insisted that when a woman falls in love with a priest, there is no carbon copy of how the story starts and unveils. Yet some common lines are found in all stories. Practically, if there is something missing in the formation of future priests is the attention given to the priest for his basic human need. Everybody needs : attention; love; personal interest; someone with whom they can interact.

God created us in this way. It’s not something to be ashamed of! We need others to be healthy from a human point of view. In other words, we are NOT islands!

Now obviously some people might explain the important use of celibacy in priesthood. Without neglecting its importance, one can theologically define that priesthood cannot be tied to celibacy. This has been written in the teaching of the church. In practical words, not every single priest has the necessary charisma to live it in his daily life! Now because celibacy has been practically imposed on all priests we tend to witness abuses of all types and sorts! This has been proved scientifically too! It’s no use to write that abuses happen in marriages too. Yes they do happen in marriages too but some priests have abused because they have never been prepared for celibacy. We can’t deny this. They have been stripped of a basic human need without their full knowledge.

Why do we insist on relationship building? Because it’s the concrete structure which builds the local parish. What makes a parish different from a large organisation if relationships disappear? If the priest lives a real relationship in a family, it is a big advantage to all the parishioners. This not only regards understanding human problems in everyday running, but as well the need to live a life to the full. A spiritually and humanly ‘charged’ priest will be in a better position to manage a parish.

A relationship is not a bed of roses! But this side of the married experience too will help the priest to face all challenges in the parish. It will help him understand a lot of aspects in a relationship where they would be otherwise left undiscovered!

We make an appeal so that new readers would publish their stories about falling in love with a priest. We promise to change name details and other aspect in order to hide one’s true identity.

The signs of the times are calling for married priests in the Roman Catholic church. It’s not far fetched but we do feel that the wind is blowing in that direction. On the other hand, we are standing on the ground and not flying too high. It’s not going to be an easy change. This is because for various reasons. One of them is, that many people want progress but nobody wants to change.

If the church really wants married priests, how are they going to call for vocations with the present circumstances? The church calls itself the expert in humanity. Yet, do workers in the church have the best conditions of work? Is the church ready to preach by example? How many married men are going to join the church with the present conditions? What type of hindrance keeps married men from joining priesthood? Can we alter something in order to attract the best possible candidates? The financial package is not to be forgotten, plus spiritual, humanistic and intellectual formation.

On the part of the laity, are they prepared to study theology and other studies to give a professional service to their parish? Studying means many years of studies. On the other hand one can’t have a course similar to the one provided for non-married priests where they can afford 6 to 7 years without gaining money. How can they receive married ones while maintaining the responsibility of the family?

What about the general reflection about the family? Are the married ones expected just to obey? Are we prepared to re-write the whole ‘relationship’ chapter in the theological studies from the point of view of married priests? Are these married priests to be given their right to give a unique feedback to the general church?

One of interesting debates is when married priests have teens themselves. Even when they preach to the congregation their own teens will be there! That means somebody who is trying to live the gospel. This week I met some families who are complaining that there teens are abandoning the Sunday Mass!! That would already be a tough challenge for married ones. Yet, the challenge itself could prove to be a witness to many other families!

Speaking about the teens, what about the women. Is the wife of the pastor going to be a silent spectator? Or is she going to get a significant role in the running of the parish? After all, like many other women she is the silent supporter of her husband’s work! She is the one to help him going on. She could be the voice of many other women who are still living in the periphery of the parish!

With all this in mind, it makes sense to call back all those priests who have left. Why? Because they have something which new candidates don’t have: experience! Once they were at the centre of activity in the parish. In these last years, they have lived their most difficult time of their lives. They know how one feels when one is discarded in society. That makes them better candidates to look at those in society who feel not welcomed anymore. Those discarded have always been an important part of the church. It’s the new generation which will form up the new church. It’s not a surprise that most married priests welcome all kinds of people who are in different phases of faith!

Priests today have a dark cloud above their heads owing to the sexual abuse crisis. Yet married priests could prove vital to thwart that conception of priesthood. This is another hidden asset of married priesthood which could link the church with the outside world once again.

The new parish working plan

In soccer, there is an occasion when a player instead of scoring against his opponents, scores against his own team!!! It is called an own goal! Something similar I noticed on our own blog lately. Instead of being happy that somebody takes the initiative, like small children we start stomping our feet until our demands are met!

This is not something simple. After centuries of priest domination in the church, some lay people won’t accept anybody except another priest. The priest has practically given the idea that the church is priest centered. This is because many people have stopped reading the bible. They have never attended any theological discussion or had any theological formation. When the people are not informed they can be easily manipulated! One can easily google the net to find out if the priest dominated model is the truly biblical main point or not! One can debate what is the position of the priest vis-a-vis the parish (local church).

In the first years of the church, we had many communities without priests! In the Latin American continent today, there are so many vibrant communities which are lead by lay people! They have in fact given out a new model for all the world to follow: the base level communities! Please do google this information!

On the other hand, in the so called Western World, we are heading into priestless parishes! Just one impertinent question: how many brave parents transmit their faith to their children? Can we dismiss it just because they are not ‘ordained priests’? How many people take care of the community in which they are living?

We are not alienated. We don’t have one medicine to solve all the church’s woes! The fact that we have been urging the church to let priests marry does not solve all problems! We are still going to face priestless parishes!!!

Our main goal to let priest marry, is, because of such development the whole church stands to benefit, especially when writing the social teaching of the church.

Some people were not happy that a woman had offered her services to our blog. Are we going to protest because there is a woman who is preaching this week in the parish? Are we going to protest because there is a married man who is administering our parish? If yes, then the Holy Spirit has in store a lot of surprises for our spiritual development!!!

In any case, the future is really interesting. We cannot be like old, grumpy people who compare the present with their idyllic past which has long been buried!! We need to face the new spiritual growth which like Abraham, calls us to leave our own methods, our own comfort zones and seek new pastures! Statistics (if not our own spiritual renewal), will tell us that the number of priests is going lower and lower. Now what? What do our readers suggest? For sure we can’t multiply the number of priests (even though we allow some married people to become priests).

Please do write your opinion as this makes our blog more alive and kicking. Hopefully it will lead to our spiritual growth!

Somebody once said, that listening to the news, makes one fall into a deep depression. Well it might be so for the unbelievers but not for the strong ones! The news that in the coming meeting in Rome they are not going to discuss celibacy, might sound as a death sentence to the celibacy debate! Yet, the meeting with the Pope is not the only solution to bring change in the Catholic Church. Surprisingly some changes in the church took place with the help of the so called ‘enemies of the church’…..a striking example is that of Martin Luther, who was called by Saint Pope John Paul II, a man of great spirituality!!

Let’s start with our blog. There are still many stories involving priests and women that we can publish once every fortnight for a very long time. There are still people who are afraid to come forward and publish their story. We always protect our readers by changing names, places etc…..We need to show them how many priests are involved in clandestine relationships! Otherwise they might think that the celibate discussion is just for a few hot heads who insist on marrying priests!

Secondly, besides our blog, there are more ways too. How about parishioners talking with the rest of the parish/diocese/church etc…?? We should not be afraid of putting our agenda on the discussion table. The sexual abuse of children has already given us a great push forward. Most baptized people are not aware of the celibacy problem, or maybe they are not interested!

Some of us could participate in a discussion on the radio/television/internet/newspaper… Let’s show them that the apostles were married. We are not asking for an impossible change! We are going back to the basics after all. How can we discard the proof of the bible if we wish to remain faithful to the teaching of the church?

We need to practice persuasion skills…..showing them the advantages of having married priesthood, could be one of them. In a few words, we have to come out from our protective shell and tell the others. Changes in society won’t come automatically, we have to push in order that others might see the change in our lives.

This is exactly what happens when a married priest tries to bury the fact that he is still a priest. The priest, knowingly or unknowingly, might still help people. People see that he has special talents when hearing others. There would be some people (one person is enough at the beginning) who insists in receiving some counselling from the priest. Others might ask for sacraments…once he starts working as a priest (in diaspora), a change in his heart takes place.

God works in mysterious ways….yes it’s true! We are witnesses to this as we have already passed through this path! Let’s not be afraid. This is a wake up call, we have to work hard to bring about the necessary changes in the church. Let’s not wait for a magical/talented person who is going to work for our belief in married priesthood, unless we do the donkey work!

Let’s hear from our readers about new ways how we can reach out to other parishioners in order to push for changes in the Catholic Church.