Tag Archive: priest likes to touch


The role of patience

The young ones are famous for bringing about a lot of changes in a very short time. This happens in a school, business company, local council, politics and in any other sphere where human beings interact. We all know the result. Most probably most people reject change and may turn the table onto the younger ones. ‘Too soon’ and ‘too drastic’ are some of the famous sayings heard in everyday life.

Patience is not something which could be taught like in a school. It has be mastered slowly and by inner reflection. The person has to continue struggling to bring about changes, yet it has to pick up the right wave in order to bring about small changes. In other words: “Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is “timing”; it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.” Fulton J. Sheen

We all look for results. We all want positive changes. Yet, most of the people are happy as they are. This is like the saying: everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die!!

How do we achieve our dreams of married priesthood? Well there are no magical formulas. There are no instant results. We have to study how to bring about the best result. But we all need to work hard for it!

Well the Pope, true to his word, made an invitation to Brazil. It’s the country with one of the lowest percentage of priests in comparison with the faithful there. He is very shrewd. Refusing in such a big country (some call it a continent with its big dimensions), would be equal to a suicide. But the Pope started from the country which cannot refuse such a call if it wants to survive and still have Catholics in its own land. The hemorrhage is incredible in such big country. People are leaving the church in large numbers. This is the effect of not having at least a mass once a week.

Now it all depends on our response to such change. Are we going to apply pressure to the Vatican, to the local church? Are we ready to start discussing with the rest of the church? Our big guns are several but we wish to focus on two of them: one is the lack of priests where many parishes are struggling just to offer a mass per week! The other one is the common point with most non-church goers: sexuality. Most people have left because in the Catholic Church we can’t update our sexuality chapter anymore. It has to be re-written from scratch. The married priests are in a comfortable position to tell what’s most important and what could be discarded having children of their own.

We have noticed as well that some Catholic agencies didn’t publish the news that the Pope has invited Brazilian bishops to discuss priesthood for some married people (referring to male ones). This already speaks volumes. Not all the people will agree. But this should not discourage us. Living in a democratic country we should not get discouraged because of different opinions. Yet the good of the church tells us to do something before it’s too late. This should be the base on which to discuss the issue. It’s life or death situation.

Watching a TV program discussing ghosts, dead people, afterlife etc….shows how little do the people know of what the church truly teaches!! There is a lot of confusion, everybody coming out with a new version of what happens after death…….we need more priests, we need more catechists to tell them what the church teaches!

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I’m Annie and my priest’s name is Jack. I’ve been reading your blog for sometime now and I wanted to finally share some of my story (it’s okay to post this). It’s not very detailed but it’s enough. I met a priest in 2013 just before my husband left on a business trip. This trip was to last 5 months abroad. My husband is very kind, and I would say we have a good marriage. This priest was from an other parish filling in for our priest.

After my husband departed for his business trip, I filled my days with daily mass and volunteer work. In those days I would see this priest. There was an instant chemistry that I was very aware of. He was too. There was much eye contact, both catching and looking away and catching again. I felt that his homilies always spoke to me personally. I felt the hot and cold too at first. It would go from one week he’d “see” me and then the following week completely ignoring me. In those moments of being ignored I felt crushed. We didn’t speak much. I would email him occasionally asking for a Mass intention or pray for someone or something but nothing beyond that. 

Eventually, my husband returned home. The hot and cold and eye catching didn’t cease with the priest but seemed to increase. The day came when this priest was to return to his home parish. It was in our goodbye that set everything in motion. He expressed not wanting to leave and saying he wished we’d had more time together. We emailed in earnest after that day. Our correspondences was filled with double meanings…it was frustrating. I met with a few weeks later. It was at this time he expressed his love for me. I was so shocked and pleased all rolled into one.

Over the next several months we would meet and our closeness grew both emotionally and physically. Until he broke his promise of celibacy and I broke my marital vows. We continued this way for a year. We’d meet at different places, it would always end in us being intimate. At first i thought what we experienced in friendship and love was special, unique and true. But as time progressed the illusion of us being “meant to be” as he put it came crashing down.

I felt many times he wanted to know all about me but would share only bits and pieces about himself. He wanted to know and meet my friends and family but I was never to meet his. I would want to plan ahead, he would give me excuses for why he couldn’t. Then he would make palms with other friends and family. Yes, we’d text and call but my communication with him didn’t take priority. There would be days I wouldn’t hear from him. I would take time to ensure he knew I was thinking of him constantly, at the expense of spending that time and effort on my family. He would just say he was too busy or too tired….or just couldn’t. He would be jealous and it would cause arguments between us. He always wanted to advise me on my life and would get upset when I chose not to follow his guidance. It was like he wanted an observer rather than a participant in his life. He never seemed to understand actions speak louder than words. 

When I realized that the relationship would always be one of secrecy, one built on falsities, one that would never progress beyond a rendezvous, I couldn’t continue. I told him I just wanted to be friends. He wanted us to continue as we were…confiding in each other, communication, still seeing each other…everything but the physical contact. I couldn’t agree to that. It would be tempting to just fall back into what we were. So I cut everything off cold turkey. He hasn’t contacted me at all since I said no more to all of it. I sometimes get the urge to text him because it’s hard to stop all contact with someone after a year of constant communication but then I remember that he wasn’t mature enough to tell me goodbye. At first I was upset he didn’t contact me back, but now I am grateful. It has allowed me to make a clean break from him. 

Why do I want to share all this? Because after reading all the posts from women hoping against hope their priest will be different, I had to speak up. Aren’t we more than the little bit of time and attention they give us? Don’t we want more for ourselves? Someone who will fully commit to us? Their time, attention and love? Where when you meet or talk there isn’t an elephant in the room looming over head because of who and what he is? 

I’m mad at myself for listening to the flowery things he said. For not paying attention to his actions towards me. I feel I wasted the last couple of years on him to feel immense guilt and sadness. I remain married to my husband. I am constantly working to better myself and my marriage. 

It’s up to the readers to comment in order to make our blog very lively. Last week we had a record of 273 comments! Thanks to all who participated and made our blog truly unique. Every opinion counts! On the other hand we had some interesting news…The Pope is giving back authority to the local bishops to fix the liturgical translations. He is giving back authority to the local bishops. Remember that we need to pester our local bishops about married priests! Please do your part. Don’t lose faith. Let’s keep going. Don’t be afraid if they don’t answer or they seem to be very cold or indifferent. If we wish to testify about our Lord Jesus Christ, we need adults who are strong enough to withstand any coldness or bitterness! Some positive news (thanks to Maria from Italy)..the Hungarian bishops are asking for married priests!!! In the USA there is a local community who is asking for married priests!!!! Let’s unite and move forward…the future is not very far away!

One who is reading our stories, may get the impression that the only challenge for priests – in view of relationships – is the that of women. Well, after eighteen years living in a monastery we can safely say that most priests are attracted to men! Some readers have already pointed out, that the monasteries is an all men club. So it’s no discovery that most of them like, enjoy and feel secure with other men. This is another reason why married priests is never going to be a priority for whom relationships are equal to men.

We are in favour of relationships. We are never going to condemn anybody who falls in love. We know from many other stories, that nobody selects the person with whom it may fall in love. Yet we want to state clearly that we are not in favour of clandestine relationships, whether it’s with a man or a woman. Secret relationships point to all the negative connotations. It may seem interesting and exciting at the beginning, but one may soon feel all the negative effects, mentioned in several of our readers’ comments.

Today, we have the story of a man who falls in love with a priest. We are happy that men too write to our blog as it reflects the hidden reality which is found in many cases around the world. It maybe that in most cases in the Western World, men find it difficult to put their case in writing. We hope that this example may encourage other men to write too.

My name is Eli. My story is probably not very different although I am a committed man in a relationship with another man. This year, I decided to try return to my previous parish. My first mass there, the priest essentially cornered me and made the excuses giving me confession in his office after mass. Then it proceeded to having drinks and then on another occasion dinner. Following this, we had an exchange via text and email that was exciting, In the excitement of getting to know a new person, and also having flirtations.

Did I mention that this priest is a very good-looking man? In our discussions, he mentioned the things that he could not do as being part of the church. So many things, of course sexual and also do not have favouritism, or exclusivity for anyone person in particular. In our discussions, he mentioned to me that after six years he had prayed to God to be given a companion. Obviously there is an attraction there, and I’m certain that it is mutual. There has been nothing physical, however I feel that six months later I cannot be in this situation in my life of having to take care of the emotional needs of a lonely priest.

It was not more then two months and that I was feeling a very strong emotional connection to him and feelings of love. I mentioned this to him and he hoped that he was not the cost for instigating or starting any of these feelings, And begged me not to make any rash decisions and leave my relationship.

In this time, he has gotten to know my partner and I, and my children. Currently, my feeling is that he has potentially developed some feelings for me and is running away from them and so can run hot and cold with me. It is in this way that he says: ‘God bless you’, that makes me feel his instead of saying something else. However I might just be the one that is a bit delusional here. I consider myself very intelligent person, and feel that an emotional level I’m dealing with someone who has the intellectual capacity in relationships of an 11-year-old. He can go from being very sweet and caring one day, to ignoring me for four days.

I’ve told my partner about this maddening crush, and have prayed for a long time about it. I no longer want to play guessing games, or be used by anyone else to make them feel better about themselves. I would really like a solution to this situation; Do I continue to harbour a friendship? Or do I close the door on this, and move on. I should also mention that in the meantime this priest has also developed a fondness for my partner and my partner is more interested in continuing with the same parish. I think if I had my way, I would leave. I’m hoping readers can provide me with some insight on the situation.

Let’s push for change

Somebody once said that the biggest sin in the world is when the so called ‘good people’ don’t do anything. On the other hand the so called ‘evil ones’ are doing work 24/7!

We wish to compare this thought to the Catholic Church today. Although we don’t want to use the term ‘good’ or ‘bad’ (referring to people), we wish to point out two different categories of people in the church.

There are those who guard the teaching of the church in jealous way, and they don’t let anyone interfere or change anything. Consequently the church is seen as a museum where change rarely happens. Everybody knows that this is false, yet these individuals continue walking the same road.

On the opposing fence, there are those who would like lots of changes, more frequently and on a bigger scale in the Catholic Church.

Whilst these two opposing groups are found in any church, corporation, business, family etc…in the Catholic Church it seems that the first group has been in power for too long. This has effected in a negative way the side of those who consider themselves ‘progressive’ or who dream of changes. Again we hate labelling but we need to use some terms in order to drive home our point.

In our experience, most people have left the church. This includes many priests as well. They have been waiting for too long to see any changes. In practical life, they have invented a spirituality of their own. They still connect to God. They still hold most of the Catholic principles. Yet they are without a community. In an evangelical way, they are the sheep without a shepherd!

Being responsible of this blog, we have realised, that many people agree on many issues. Yet the lack of community makes their effort useless. One cannot change anything in the world if one is not connected to a community. What will change if I stay in my house rumbling about the church? Most probably I would be having a negative view of the church and slowly but surely I would abandon all faith practice! This in turn would ruin my spirituality!

Running the blog made us realise that there many people out there who need support in order to make them realise that they are not on their own. Their falling in love with a priest is not the only one which happened in the church! Their thoughts are not unique because many others share the same point of view. In real life we feel running a parish! We are happy about this.

We are calling our readers to have a more active role. Some of them are already doing some sterling work by writing their opinion on our blog. We would like to invite them to go out and talk about married priesthood. We do believe in social media as the place where changes occur rapidly.

Why are we pointing to social media? Because the people who would accept these changes are not going to church any more! They are found elsewhere! But this leads to a new concept of the church. We have been used to listen and obey for too many years. We are adults in faith. We feel the need to talk about our faith in particular situations (such as when we fell in love with a priest).

This in turn is not outside religion because in the documents of Vatican II (a meeting for all Catholic bishops which took place between 1963-65), they brought about the biggest change in religion (many don’t know unfortunately). What was the change? It’s not applying rules to everyday life but rather create principles or teaching from everyday life! It’s not the above to down below application but rather from down below to high above! It’s not about obeying laws but seeing, touching, living with God in one’s personal and intimate way of life! God is already there, in one’s life, even though one feels as if living outside the gospel because of various reasons.

Now we do know that this teaching is not just two lines but it needs many more hours of teaching and coaching. But it is so vital so that people get to know that without attending church or any other similar meetings, they have been walking in line with the teaching of the church! One’s life has been the new temple where God loves to stay.

Why has this happened? Because they now longer attend church. There is no one to tell them what is the real teaching of church. They have remained closed in their spirituality with no contact with any believers at all. This has been one of our main objectives: to connect with many people who have left the church.

To come to a conclusion we have left the so called the ‘museum idea of the church’ to stay for too long. We don’t challenge their ideas. We are giving away the match without going on the field and give our very best! The so called ‘conservatives’ are winning because we are not fighting at all!

Let’s push our experience of God and our understanding of the church. We are on the footsteps of the apostles, who most of them were married. We don’t need to feel defeated, in shame, sinful or out of reach of God. We are the apostles of 2016!