Tag Archive: priest masturbates in front of me


A Spanish love story

My name is Cris and I’m from Spain. I will refer to “my” priest as Father A. I have been thinking about sharing my story for a while but, at times it was too painful to keep thinking about it and feeling alienated because falling in love with a priest is not something common, at times, I’ve felt alone and even ridiculous. However, I’m glad there is a safe space where I can share my story with people who’s been there. I’m not going to get into details because there are too many but I will try my best to be as accurate as possible. Thank you in advance for listening.

I met the priest on February last year. I was a college student and I had to take extra credits and through a friend I took a class on Theology, which I love. There I met him. I was 27 and he was 36. I really liked him on the spot because he was very charismatic, goofy, awkward, smart and he seemed a genuinely kind person. I don’t think he paid much attention to me those days. However, in April we met by chance at a college event and we started talking. Everything was fine and normal. Then summer came and we both parted ways. Next semester I went back to college and I texted him because I really wanted to be friends with him and we met. Nice but very formally.

He later told me that we could go someday to have coffee or something and I immediately agreed. For me it was normal having a coffee with a friend. He happened to be a priest and had a right to have friends like any other human being. At the coffee shop we talked about life and stuff and when we were to part ways when he gave me a present: a book he had previously lent me. I admit that I was shocked and glad. I did not know what to think about it. I thought “well he is a priest, he is just being generous because he sees I’m a little alone.” Inside I was falling hard for him. Later that month I had to admit of having loving feelings and I thought to myself: this is shitty, but if there is a possibility of him liking me, I have to try. So months later (yes, I was a very insecure person back then), I asked him for coffee and he said yes. So we finally met and we talked normally and I thought, for how the conversation was going, that he was trying to push me back. I was sad but ok, but before we parted ways we went for a small walk around campus (it was dark) and when we were alone he took my hand and interlocked his fingers with mine. I was, again, shocked and I did not know what to do but i felt so happy that I just went with the flow. We kept talking but we did not talk about what that meant or about feelings. We parted normally, but i was still in hock and, because of all my insecurities, I did not know what to think because he also did not text me or anything.

Since that moment what we call here hot and cold treatment started between us. At points I thought I was over analysing things but one day I was brave enough and, after a day full of flirting, asked what we were doing. At first he denied it and said that it was me that flirted too much but then he had to admit it was also him. He said that yes, that he was attracted to me but he was not going to leave anything, that was his life. I understood but what hurt me the most was that for a long time he tried to justify all his actions, saying things like he was just a man, that he was having a tough time in his life, etc. We finally kissed, he told me to please leave him, that he did not want to fail his vows. He even told me that when we are in Heaven he would look for me to be together. I do not know if he was serious or if he just told me that just to leave him.

I felt that by justifying himself I had only been a scapegoat, that I meant nothing special to him and that I was ridiculed for having falling in love with him. To this day (and after many more things that happened that I’m not going to tell because it will take too long) I still have a hard time believing that he may have been in love with me, but not enough to try to go into real discernment. I do know if he actually had a crisis in his ministry because of us, but it was not important enough to do a real and serious discernment and just give us a try. Deep down I do understand that it’s his life and vocation, but after so many failed relationships I really wanted to feel loved and cared by a man who is kind and gentle and who likes me back…we have not seen each other in three months and we rarely talk.

Last time we talked he told me he had very good memories of us and that I was not the only one who pursued the relationship. I felt a little bit better but still it is not enough for us being together.
I’m sorry for my English. I do not know what else to say.

I say that Cris described her relationship really well. Now the practical part: how can we help her? First and foremost let’s keep her in our prayers. Secondly, can we share our experience in order to help understand better how a woman-priest relationship goes?

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Another hot and cold priest

I’m Wendy. My priest’s name is Craig. Forgive the long story, but I don’t know how to understand my priest. His behaviour is odd, and it’s ripping me up inside.

Let me start by saying that this has been a horrible year for me! In the same month, I had a tumour on my neck, my mother went into kidney failure, and my 67 year old boss was constantly harassing me, and threatening to fire me, so she could afford to keep her 35 year old boyfriend in the company. He just got out of rehab, and hasn’t been employed a year. He went to rehab after working at my company just one week, when he showed up at work drunk. My boss sent him to rehab for three months, then brought him back to the company, where he took my promised promotion. We were in a deficit, and could not afford him, so now all of a sudden, she was finding all kinds of flaws in my work, while he is paid literally just to sit around, and be her boyfriend. On July 4th, she finally got rid of me. My point of all this, is that this year has been misery, and my priest was like a light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

He came to my parish as a parochial vicar in 2014. To be honest, I did not like him. I had a private meeting with him to ask a question about a dilemma I was facing. He was rude, and sarcastic. I thanked him for his time, and left.

After that, he’d say hi to me in church. I’d nod politely. I’m the shy type, so I’m not good with eye contact. In 2015, my mother was hospitalised in ICU. (We live together, because of her many health problems. She rarely goes to church.) Father came to visit her. It was their first time meeting. She told him that I went to his church. When she said my name, he said, “Oh yes. She’s the pretty dark-haired girl who sits in the front row.”

After that, he approached me CONSTANTLY in church. He’d ask me how my mother was. When it was time to give the sign of peace, he’d step off the altar, and shake my hand. During the procession when mass was ending, he’d stop, and ask me how she was. He even knelt beside me during Adoration, and asked. That shocked me, because Adoration is done in silence. He started calling the house a lot, and coming over to the house. He wanted to give my mother Communion. I remember thinking that I misjudged him. He was a nice guy after all.

This behaviour continued until summer of 2016, when I came to church 10 minutes late. He gave me a dirty look, and kept his eyes closed during most of the service. When it came time to give the sign of peace, he never came over, like he usually did. Was he really that mad about me being late for church? The next week, I was on time. He was still cold. He would be all laughter, and smiles towards everyone else, then his face would change when he saw me. He looked at me like he hated me, or would just close his eyes. This went on for a month. Mom told me that it was my imagination. That following Sunday, there were two priests. The pastoral vicar proceeded out the front door, I left out the side door, like I always do. To my surprise, there was Father holding the door open as the parishioners exited. There were just three parishioners in front of me, and no one was behind me. I saw him smile, and shake the parishioners hands. He would joke with them, and ask them questions. This for me, was the moment of truth. How he reacted when I walked out that door, would tell me whether or not I was imagining things. Sure enough, the second he saw me, his face changed. He looked straight ahead as if he didn’t see me. I said goodbye to him, and he didn’t even acknowledge me. Just looked straight ahead.

Months went by, and my church attendance dwindled. It wasn’t really because of him. Things regrettably, got in the way. And yes, my faith was (and still is) on the decline. Last November, a gland that was swollen on my neck since the summer, got bigger, and was throbbing. It turned out to be a tumour. During that period, to my shock there was a knock at the door, and it was Father. I hadn’t seen him in months. Unfortunately, Mom and I were both sick, and improperly dressed so we did not answer the door. It surprised me though.

This January, besides my tumour, my mother went into kidney failure, and my boss started harassing me. I went to another church in town because they were having confession that day. I wanted to return to God. To my surprise, I heard Father’s voice in the confessional. It turns out that during the period when I was missing church, the older priests either retired, or transferred, so Father became the parochial vicar of 5 parishes! During confession, he was so compassionate, and understanding. He visited my mother when she was in the ICU. I decided to ask him for an anointing on my tumour. When I came to the rectory, he was very caring. The only thing I thought was odd was that he was ogling my legs. His eyes went from my feet to my legs, to my thighs, and once there, they widened, and remained transfixed. I was wearing ordinary pants. In fact, I don’t even think that I have nice legs, so that surprised me.

When he saw me in church that following Saturday, it was like old times. He was friendly, and went out of his way to say hi to me. Ten days after the anointing, I called him to tell him that a miracle happened. Out of nowhere, water started pouring out of my neck, and the tumour went down to the size of a mosquito bite. He didn’t call back. A few days later, on Ash Wednesday, I went to church. Before the service began, he came out to talk to me. I showed him the tumour, and he was surprised. He shook my hand, and went to start the service. Because I had just come home from work, I ate on the drive to the church, so I did not receive Communion. When the service ended, I lagged behind, and knelt in prayer.

After the miracle occurred, my faith reignited, so I stared at the Tabernacle, gave thanks, and asked God to heal my mother, and to help me at my job. Father then approached me from behind, and asked me if I had wanted Communion. I explained to him why I didn’t take it. He told me that an hour had gone by, and it was okay for me to take it. He went to the sacristy behind the altar, and gave me some. It was at that moment that I started to get feelings for him. I thought about him constantly, but I didn’t act on it. He’s 14 years older than I am, but he seemed to be the perfect man. That weekend I was out of town, so I didn’t go to Mass. Monday, when I went to work, my boss brought me into her office, and ordered me to go into therapy, or she would fire me. Her boyfriend said that I was creating a hostile work environment by interrupting his recording sessions by tapping on my watch (I don’t even wear a watch.), and by asking if I could go in there. I told her that I’d hardly call that hostile, and it was in fact him who was doing that to me, and I showed her the email proving it. It was from another coworker telling him not to interrupt me during recording sessions. My boss remained unmoved, and forced me to go into therapy. I was furious! During Lent, the church had Adoration. After work, I went straight to Church, and I cried to the Eucharist. All of a sudden, Father came in. He gave me the warmest smile. Suddenly my pain seemed bearable. That following Tuesday, the church also had evening Mass during Lent. I went. When Mass ended, Father left behind the altar. I stayed, and knelt down begging God to help me with my problems. There was the parochial vicar, and some other people still in church. Suddenly from behind the altar, Father comes out, and says, “Has it been an hour yet?” It was only a 30 minute Mass, and I ate on the car ride over, so I told him no. He laughed. I was sitting in the front pew, and there was a barrier in front of it. He knelt against it, and said that he would give me a blessing, instead. He touched my head. He asked me how my tumor was. He also said that he wanted to see it. I moved my hair from my neck, and showed him. He also asked me when I’d know the results of my MRI. I answered him.

His voice then took on a more seductive tone. He was whispering. “It was wonderful seeing you the other night in Adoration. It’s a great place to meditate, and receive peace.” He started looking at my hands which were folded in prayer. He stared into my eyes, and smiled. He had a dreamy expression on his face. We kept staring at each other smiling. This may seem weird, but it felt like an electrical current had passed from him into me. I had a feeling something was about to happen; like he was going to kiss me, or something. It scared me, so I rapidly turned my head away from him. Still dreamy-eyed, he whispered, “Bless you!” He told me that he had to go. He gave me the most seductive smile,waved goodbye, and went back behind the altar. I went home in a daze. I knew at that moment, that it wasn’t just my imagination, or wishful thinking. Father wanted me. I told Mom about it when I got home. She warned me to be careful.

That Friday, when I went to work, the boss gave me another written warning threatening to fire me, if I did not stop “creating a hostile work environment”. I had been recording notes into my cellphone, and her boyfriend said that it was making him uncomfortable, because he didn’t know why I was doing it. It was notes about recording the news, sports, and weather. She said that if she had to write me up one more time, I’d be fired.

That Sunday evening, I called a coworker while he was at work, to ask him a question. He answered, then told me, “Crazy stuff is going on here at work. There are men sitting downstairs with guns. They said that the boss told them to come. They’ve been here the past three nights!” I worked on an Indian Reservation, and they have their own government agencies, and some of them do carry guns.

This was too much! I hadn’t told the priest about my problems at work, but I called him up, and left a voice mail, asking if I could use the church after hours to just sit, and pray. I told him about what was going on at work. The doors lock automatically, so locking up wouldn’t be an issue. There was no return call, so I decided to pray in the Church parking lot. I just wanted to be as close as I could to the Eucharist. Well, when I got to the parking lot, I saw that the Church was all lit up, and there were cars, everywhere. I felt that God had answered my prayers. Thinking it was a Mass, I rushed inside, and took a seat. It turned out to be a confirmation class. I was embarrassed, but I just continued to kneel, and pray. When class was over, and he greeted everyone as they left the church, I heard him ask the parochial vicar if everyone in the church was gone.

I took that as a sign that he didn’t want me there, so I started to leave, when he stopped me. I told him what was going on at work. To my horror, he was rude, and condescending. He told me I could stay after if I wanted, but I was so embarrassed, I just left. After that, he was mean to me. He’d look at me, and roll his eyes. He’d get angry if I stayed after Mass to pray. He even yelled at me. I would just ignore him, and continue praying. Lots of people come to church when it’s empty to pray. Why did he care so much what I did? He could just sit in the rectory, and ignore me.

So Father wouldn’t feel uncomfortable around me, I asked a male coworker to come to church with me. Maybe then Father would feel relief, and stop being so awkward around me. Of course, my coworker saw this as an opportunity to take advantage of the situation. He kept touching me, hugging me, and putting his arm around me. I politely asked him to stop. To my surprise, Father was jealous! He said the Mass with tears in his eyes. He actually sat on the altar, and buried his head in his hands. He was stumbling, and losing his place while he read. When Mass ended, he nodded to my coworker, then hung his head as he left the church. He did not greet anyone. I felt terrible.
He treated me worse after that. Finally, on Good Friday, when the church was empty, I told Father that I wanted the other Priest to perform a blessing on me for the results on my tumor were not as optimistic as I had hoped. They were inconclusive (still are), but the doctor didn’t like the looks of my MRI. He told me that the other priest was at the rectory. I hesitated, then said, “I’d ask you to do it, but you hate me.”

He gave me a look of shock, then said, “I don’t hate you. Why do you think that?”
I then proceeded to tell him everything. He denied doing it. He then changed the subject by saying, “This is the most eye contact I ever made with you! Usually when I talk to you, you look at the floor. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Still looking him in the eye, I shook my head to tell him no. He smiled, and said, “This is nice.” He then gave me a blessing, and I left. I thought everything was good, but the eye rolls continued. A few months ago, one of his employees asked me to volunteer at the church. I told her that I get on Father’s nerves, so I’d rather not. Well, I didn’t know that he’d come walking by right after I said that. She pulled him aside. They both looked at me, and started talking. They talked for quite a while. He then gave me the dirtiest look, and left. It was the other priest’s turn to do Mass that day.

A week later, as I was leaving Mass, he pulled me aside, and told me how it bothered him that I thought he didn’t like me. He said that he felt no ill-will towards me, he liked having me there, and he was sorry. I just stood there, and listened. I was going to argue with him. He then put his hand out for me. I thought he wanted to shake it, but he just held it for a good 30 seconds. He let go, and started to walk away. I stopped him, and told him that on Monday, my mother was going to be tested to see if she qualified to get a kidney transplant, and I wanted to donate one to her. He offered to come over and anoint her. He came over for the first time in a while, and anointed her, and yes, he ogled my legs again. And no I was not dressed seductively.

After coming home from the days of numerous tests which we still don’t have an answer for, I went back to work to discover that I was fired. I didn’t bother to tell my priest. I still don’t know how to take him. In church, he’ll say hi, but part of me wonders if it’s just to save face, because his employee talked to him about what I said about getting on his nerves. He still closes his eyes when he sees me in church. He treats no one else this way, because I look. Everyone thinks he’s nice, warm, and charismatic. I used to think so, too. I’m uncomfortable going to church now. Yesterday, was a holy day, and I almost didn’t go to Mass out of fear of what the priest would think. I then realized that I was putting the priest before God, so I went to church in spite of him. He saw me, rolled his eyes, then kept them closed for the rest of the service. It’s hurtful. He’s the pastor of five churches, so I can’t really get away from him. I believe that love is the most Christian act of all, and if mandatory celibacy is causing you to neglect, and even be mean to your female parishioners, and make them feel too uncomfortable to even go to Mass, then it’s not creating a holy service to God. I fell in love with him, but never acted on it. Never even told him about it. I rarely even look at him. I just leave church every week with a hole in my heart.

Readers: Wendy is asking for guidance. She’s asking other woman what they did in such situation. Please give your feedback as it might help a lot. Thanks.

Pentecost and Married Priests

We have just celebrated Pentecost. In lay terms it’s the birth of the church. The apostles were all behind closed doors and windows afraid of what might happen to them. On Pentecost day, the Holy Spirit descended upon all apostles and they left all their fears, doubts, jealousy and lack of faith behind, went out and started to talk in the name of Jesus. It was a big transformation.

In Europe in these last days, it seems that we are electing several governments. Our mentality is that we elect people to represent us whilst we continue with our lives. Is that a similar attitude in the church? How many people leave the church for one thousand and one reasons? Yet who is going to remain ‘in’ to bring about the change? It is an appropriate reflection on Pentecost’s day. Are we just young children who are happy to play with the toys whilst the other adults take care of us in the church? Pentecost was so transforming because the apostles realised that it was their turn to start speaking in the name of Jesus Christ. Do we have so many lay people available in the church?

Married priesthood is important because married people should be considered as a great asset for the church. It could be the building block for the whole church. It’s up to the people to ask their local bishops for married priesthood. How many of our readers are ready to pester their bishops to call for married priesthood?
This does not mean that it’s going to be that easy. Some bishops (example in the UK), are already too silent about it. But that does mean that we stop doing our part of speaking to them?

In most of our cases, we continued practising priesthood because people did ask us for our services. We saw many local areas where priests do not go. Lay people are left all alone. Who is going to attend to their needs? This is like an emergency. All people who can help are obliged to do so.

Emergency or not, Married priests feel that they have a special charisma for today’s people to bring God’s message. It’s the sign of the times. People who read between the lines should come to the same conclusion: we need married people to bridge the distance between priests and married people. Married people will look upon their priests in order to look for concrete examples on how to live the gospel in today’s world.

Who gives birth? Who is side by side with a new born baby? Who breasts feed the baby? Who answers the child’s questions? Who teaches him about God? The answer is usually (although there are some exceptions) a woman. Women, whether we acknowledge it or not, are the apostles who speak about God to their child. They are the ones who facilitate the relationship between God and the new born child. This continues for several years. Most probably during the teen’s years, existential questions may be asked by the young teenager which leaves some parents with their mouths wide open, in awkward silence.

Women are already acting like priests in their own families because they bring God to their family. What’s missing? It’s their input in the parish. We all know that more priests and bishops are becoming aware of the lack of priests in parishes (in Europe and North America). The first response is being that of amalgamating parishes. This is contrary to what people expect, because today we look for a sense of belonging in our parish. Now if the parish becomes bigger, that sense of community disappears. If that disappears, most probably church attendance will go down too. If that happens, what happens to Christianity if we don’t meet every Sunday? How are people going to learn how to find God in their busy lives?

One German bishop, is proposing a different path (finally). Yes lay people (those who are not priests), can manage a parish! Can you understand the meaning and the implications of it? Yes women too can manage a parish. The Holy Spirit always moves in hidden areas. There are many people out there who think that the Catholic Church will never change (it’s against our faith!!). Yet surprises will never stop in our life. The main problem is always the same. We have our own agenda and we want God to obey our ‘orders’. God will move his church when he deems fit. Obviously some of us who wish to hurry, will feel disappointed. Yet, as Catholics we have to bow to God’s will as we daily pray through our Father.

Now what does this mean? We need to prepare many lay people in order to take over our parishes. Obviously, they need preparation. When it comes to managing people, I do believe that some people are already highly qualified to do such job. The same goes for accounts and other daily running schedules. Yet the most important one (ie implying for married priests), they need to be trained in theological studies. This week I posted a link to a preacher who emphasized the role of women deacons in the early church. Now how many women know about that? Very few. If more lay people go to such courses, we could manage the church much better. Trained people is the best answer for tomorrow’s church because as we have seen in Germany, lay people one day will take over (with or without the consent of some priests!). Statistically this is beyond any doubt as future numbers will force the church to change path. The important thing is that we’ll have a good number of lay people who are prepared to take over as otherwise, unprepared and unqualified people will do more harm than good.

Let’s start thinking about the future, today or right now! May God Bless you all!

When people talk about married priests, it seems as if we are talking about the future such as when aliens will land on earth! Those hearing us discussing about married priesthood might jump into the conclusion that it’s still not being practiced in the Catholic Church. This assumption that we’re talking about future decisions might harm our reputation. Some might nickname us as rebels or people outside the church!

Well there are so many people out there that they don’t know that there are already married priests in the church! If one uses a search engine, one might encounter a lot of such cases. One particular story is found here. So please note that all those people who might start arguing that a married priest might not have enough time for his wife and children, it is already being done!

Obviously, the next question would be: why are Anglican priests allowed to become Catholic priests and bring their wives over whilst Catholic priests have to resign in order to get married?! In our opinion it is pure injustice.

We are of the opinion that people should start asking for married priests now in order that Pope Francis might say yes. He has already shown that he is moving slowly but surely in that direction. But he wants the people to ask for it in their diocese (the geographical place where a bishop and his priests/nuns etc..work together).

We, as a community, we have to understand that we cannot live in the catacombs afraid to mention such subject during our interaction with the rest of the parish! Somebody has to inform the rest of the parish. Somebody has to show the way. This is what it means to be an adult in faith. We cannot rely on others to do this kind of work. Most of the people who would call for married priests are unchurched (not going to church any more). It’s our duty to inform them of the latest changes in the Catholic church. Let’s take it as a challenge or if we wish to, as a lent exercise for this year!

Pope Francis is not a dictator. He wants to move with his flock. People now are experiencing the lack of priests in so many parishes (in the whole wide world except some countries in Africa). Now we either go for married priests or risk of loosing more parishes which would be without the Eucharist. The Eucharist is so central for the Catholic Faith.

    It is the time and place where the community meets (can we have a community if we never meet?).

    During the mass we hear the word of God (can we simply be brainwashed by the media not knowing what God really thinks?).

    We nourish our soul with the body and blood of Christ (can our body grow healthy without eating adequately? Now let’s focus about the food for our soul).

In other words the body and soul of the Catholic Church lies in the Eucharist. Shall we let more parishes die because of lack of priests or shall we move forward and allow more priests (married) to work in the vineyard of the Lord?

Our woman today is Dorothy. She was a former nun who became a policewoman (cop). She fell in love with a handsome and intelligent man (got his PhD), who happened to be a priest too. It seems that he presented himself as a priest who had left…but actually reading official documents, he didn’t leave at all. Like some other priests he wanted to have the best of both worlds: the married life and the celibate life!

This does not mean that all priests are like him. Some of the priests turn out to be wonderful fathers. Yet there is always a slight possibility that a priest is luring a woman for sex and just to have fun. It’s up to the mind of the woman to make sure that the priest is not playing at all. We are all in favour of married priests. Married means to stick to one woman and to take responsibility for one’s actions. We are NOT in favour of priests who just go around and use women for their own egoistic needs.

Where did you meet?

We met in Eldoret in 2005 at a convent where I was was being inculcated into sisterhood. Then based in Spain, Fr Oure had visited the convent on official assignment. The priest, however, showed interest on the first encounter.

What did he tell you when you met?

He lied to me about his exact role in church. Fr Oure would then make frequent visits to the nunnery, where he made sexual advances towards me.

When did you get married?

We married when I was 32 years old and he was 49, in December 2013, but we started experiencing problems barely three months into their marriage. He is a serial womaniser and his constant infidelity is the reason for our constant fights before we parted ways recently. I caught my husband in bed with another woman in our house in Nakuru’s Kasarani estate!

Do you have children?

Yes we have one son but I had miscarriage of our second child as this was caused by physical abuse by Fr Oure. He became so angry when I caught him on our matrimonial bed
with a prostitute!

What do you have in mind now?

I want to sue the church for damages as his order says that he is still ‘in’ the church.

Now for fairness sake, the priest is presenting a different version of facts but he didn’t deny sleeping with other women! So indirectly he had admitted to not being faithful. Like some other priests, he is not interested in marriage but in a concubine, where secretly he can have sex as much as he wants to! One can see the original article at: Article

The news is out…Brazil may soon have married priests. Who said so? It’s a famous theologian with the name of Leonardo Boff. He was once a member of the Franciscan order, as he left the order some years ago. He fits our description of priest really well.

How does he know about all this? Because he knows that the Brazilian bishops have explicitly asked for married priests. The pope wants to introduce married priesthood. Brazil maybe the country to experiment, sort of like a pilot experiment.

Boff boasts of having helped Pope Francis with his environmental encyclical, “Laudato Si’, on Care for Our Common Home.”! So it all shows that Boff is being welcomed once again to the official church.

An important comment was: will he work once again as a priest? Boff answered (as we have been constantly harping), there is no need, because he continued to help with the building of the basic communities, including the administration of the sacraments! In other words, once a priest, always a priest!

What does it mean for all of us? First of all, it shows that we were right from the very first step to insist on married priesthood. It wasn’t a sin or in theological words anathema! We were not outside the biblical basis. Our reasoning has a biblical basis which is a very strong point when dealing with arguments in theology.

Now the final practical part. When will it happen in your country? That is the question that we cannot give a definite answer. But instead of rushing, Pope Francis has shown the hand of a true father who does not wish to make his children run. He wants to give some time before it is introduced, so that many Catholics may come to terms with it. Now this is the most interesting part because most church goers have already accepted the idea of married priesthood! So it’s not too far away from making it happen in the whole church.

In the meantime, let’s not stand with our hands still and doing nothing. Let’s start talking, writing, communicating with other members in order to help Pope Francis in bringing over such change. If one does not feel comfortable in his community…there is the internet. It’s so huge and vast. One can go elsewhere to give the news and stimulate discussion. Although the best solution would be to speak with your own community. This means not imposing or shutting up people who do not agree but rather speaking calmly but surely about the beauty of married priesthood.

The Pope cannot do changes all alone. True leaders wait for the people in order to walk together. If we don’t make our move, it might be fatal. Let’s shout from our roofs’, balconies etc…..Let’s have priests like the biblical ones…..married and very close to Jesus!

The original article can be found here.

Women deacons = married priests?

When we were at school, we used a particular expression called the missing link (referring to apes in view of human beings). We are all the time pushing for a married priesthood. Yet maybe we are missing a good link. How can the Catholic Church allow its priests to get married when there is a low appreciation of women? The fact that some women marry a priest and are still regarded as those who tempted the priest to abandon the altar (table where mass is celebrated), may speak volumes! Why are all important decisions taken by men in the church?

The recent decision by the Pope to allow studies to investigate (it’s still a study, please don’t jump into conclusions), the case of women deacons, may finally help our cause. What’s a deacon? Well the deacon is one who celebrates all the sacraments (except mass and the sacrament of reconciliation), and could deliver a homily (explanation of the readings) during mass. But if you want a more detailed and a biblical explanation, go for this link. In any case, together with the married apostles, there is the hidden figures of their wives. What did they do? Surely as married couples, they were aware of Jesus’ call.

Let’s not forget about the Holy mother of God, Mary. She carried baby Jesus in her womb for nine whole months. Now by general criteria of priesthood, she would classify as a priestess: she gave Jesus to the world; She had great intimacy with her son; She suffered and practically took part in the sacrifice on the cross. In many saintly books, she is portrayed as the one who leads to Jesus (priests’ work). How can such a glaring example go unnoticed?

Mary Magdalene was the first person who saw the risen Christ, before the apostles according to the gospel. Does not this give a special message to women’s active participation in the church?

In today’s world, it’s still the woman in many cases who nurtures and keeps a close contact with children. She is the one to pass or not to pass on faith. She is the one who attends most frequently church activities (in some areas, statistics prove this). Lay women and lay men are the ones who share the priest’s vision for their parish. In most priestless parishes, they are the ones who are guarding our treasures. Whether we like it or not, this is going to be the future. Priests are much less and in the Western world they are going to be in such a small number, that they would be completely outnumbered by lay people. Shall we live in denial and still press for celibate priests?

On another level, one main argument which is being unfortunately discarded is that of the signs of the times. God is not enclosed in a book. God can speak to anybody in any time. If all the corporations, companies, schools and the general public, there is rising awareness of the importance of females, how can the church put its head in the sand by ignoring women? How can God speak to the general public in one way and then speak differently to the church?

In David Rice’s book, (Shattered Vows, Exodus from the priesthood), there is ample proof that the priests’ wives have increased the spirituality and enthusiasm of the priest to work for others whether in a sacramental form or another. Instead of writing negative comments about the church, maybe we need to be more positive and write about the miracles which take place in today’s church, through the active participation of women. Let’s hear from our readers, how they sanctify priests!

Falling in love is not just for the young ones. Even falling in love with a priest is not always a story between a young priest and a young woman, as this story illustrates. This is Jacqueline who is sharing her story with all our readers. She is first telling her story. In the second part, I’ll ask her some questions.

I think I just have to share this story. I am still shocked by it. It goes like this: I met this new priest about four years ago. We clicked instantly. He is now 48 years and I am now fifty. I was never married because I never wanted to, however I was so attracted to this foreign priest who came to our isles. Yes we kissed but there was never any sexual relations because I believed I should not be the one to do that with a priest [old school thinking]. After four years into the friendship he was transferred to another parish. He still visited my home once a week. Eighteen months in this parish he called me to tell me that he was leaving the country because of a situation [a sexual relation with a seventeen years and nine months girl and to please forgive him]. He said he had ignored her several times but eventually one day it happened.

One month afterwards, the girl started calling him and telling him dirty things when he was seen speaking with other women. When he told her about it, the girl told her parents. The result was that the priest had to flee the country like a scared puppy, never to return. All the parents wanted was that he would leave the country. We were in contact every step of his journey and I knew his agony.

Parishioners never knew the true reason why he was leaving. However, from his religions order (eg Franciscans, Jesuits, Carmelites etc…), where I knew some priests, I was able to find out that the young girl took a ready made meal at times to the priest. On that fateful day, realising that the priest was intoxicated, she began stripping and a sexual relationship took place. One priest told me that she was a problem girl and that it was evident in her messages e.g are you f***ing her?

I told him that I loved him as he left. A few days later we spoke and he said that it was a real test for him. The girl sent him a message saying that she hated him because her parents now hated her. That was two days after he left. He never replied and he never heard from her again. As for me I was in shock for days and I realised that if he cannot be faithful to God he cannot be faithful to no one. He is many many miles away from me but we do still communicate.

Where did you meet?
I met him in my parish.

What is his character?
I found he was the humblest man I ever met.

What was happening in his spiritual life?
He was extremely lonely for all his relatives were abroad. He was quite spiritual but very realistic.

What do you really think about his relationship with an under age girl?
I found he drank a bit too much but he never drank alone. After drinking he may have said foolish things. He was from a country where girls marry at sixteen years of age. Like in his country, he thought that a minor was sixteen years and under. I understand the temptation of priests. A priest in his order confided the entire scenario of what happened that dreadful day and the fact that the girl stripped in his presence to me, she was out for him and it was premeditated.

Why do you keep communicating? Is there a future for your relationship?
The incident is still fresh in my mind, I still want to know that he is good. He asked my forgiveness so I bear no grudges and he is miles and miles away from me, so very soon the communication will dwindle and he will be a memory. Definitely there is no future for us but I wish for him to get counselling and stop the drinking and be a good priest again.

Now to our readers to start the discussion. Just to start the ball rolling, does a sexual relationship happen all of a sudden? Is a priest prepared for such situations?

My name is Mary. My priest is Joe. I’m answering questions written by Rev Daniel.

Where did you meet?

l met him at my parish when he came to teach us music. We were preparing to record our album as a youth group, actually he was our producer.

What made him so attractive?

His voice attracted me because when he’s singing he’s so sweet!

How is he as a man?

He’s very good. I can’t even compare him with my boyfriend..he’s too good.

Who was the first to show any signs of affection?

He was the first to show signs of affection. He asked for my number indirectly, not knowingly. Looking back it seems that he had an agenda. In fact he started calling me many times and taking more than an hour for each call. He was telling me sweet things and how beautiful l was.

How did your relationship develop from that point onwards?

The relationship developed to an extent that l couldn’t go a day without talking to him, l felt loved when l was with him.

How many times did you meet?

We used to meet four times per week. l usually went to his place during the day or even spend the whole night with him, but now l have relocated, but l visit him whenever l have the chance.

Are you intimate with your priest?

Oh yes we are!

What makes you mad about this priest?

He’s so romantic and sweet. He’s just too good.

Does he run away or make himself unavailable sometimes?

Yes.

Does your relationship have a future?

I don’t think it has a future because at one point l got pregnant and he asked me to abort. He said that his job doesn’t allow him to have kids!

How does he judge your relationship?

He’s so jealous, he doesn’t want me to have any kind of relationship with any another man.

Aren’t you afraid that one day, somebody will discover your relationship?

Some people know and some they suspect that there is something going on between the two of us. But the most painful thing is that I’m not the only woman for him because I have seen used condoms in his house. Unfortunately l find myself going back to him. He was the first man l slept with…in other words he took my virginity…l do love him but I wish he could marry me.

Dear readers, it’s up to you now to make our blog very lively by your comments, questions and writings!