Tag Archive: priest masturbates


Guidelines for women!

We’ve been gaining experience for these last 21 years in our marrried priests’ movement! We have come to a point where we can be in a better position to help both the priest and the woman who are in love.

One of the aspects which has been built on, is the number of tips given to women in order to understand better their position. We are not abandoning the priest neither, but this time we’re giving out some practical guidelines to the women out there!

We insist that a relationship starts very early when most probably both persons are not aware of some dynamics going on! It happens in all the world and in all countries, but we’re trying to help the woman notice that the red bulb is lit! The fact that people meet, relationships are formed, with or without our knowledge! Now as the saying goes, it takes two to tango! The starting up might be totally innocent or innocuous, but the continuing needs both sides of the relationship! At one moment they will realise that things have gone too far and a decision is needed. We’re of the opinion that until that moment comes, one could avoid all heart breaking and other damages by being alert to many ‘hidden’ signals.

As usual we’re asking for some help from our readers to add, delete or comment about the coming lines.

Women are guided in order NOT to:

• invite the priest to her house nor go to the priest’s house alone;
• give her personal number unless requested for professional services in the church
• [in that case one has to keep all conversations on a professional basis];
• allow the priest to make a conversation based on his personal life;
• allow any provocative kisses, touching or patting;
• to dream about the priest as the perfect future husband;
• talk about her personal life in a secluded and closed room;
• let any conversation take on the form of a lovers’ chat room;
• let the priest communicate [through social media] on a daily basis and/or too frequently;
• let the priest say or write romantic words;
• let the priest promise that he is on the verge of leaving priesthood [or similar words];
• let the priest openly show that he is at odds with the church;
• accept presents from the priest;
• become his saviour especially when things fail in his parish;

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Many people will ask every now and then….why don’t you priests, who have left the parish, convert to another religion?

Well everybody is free to answer that question according to his concience. There are no right or wrong answers. But surely one of the reasons which keeps us in the Catholic Church is the number of ecclesial documents which make us proud of our church! We studied, prayed and experienced the documents of the Second Vatican Council. Now we have this document by Pope Francis about the unique and rich area of the pan-amazonia.

It’s truly the true church which this pope is trying to make stronger. It is not simply a visit to this region. He wants to learn how they are successful in making the church a strong social element where others have failed (especially in Europe where churches are becoming similar to museums).

It is lead by the common people (women included which lead some to think that he is in favour of women priests). They do discuss many issues (mostly ecological but including justice). They decide which path to take. Finally they go for it! They are enlarging or putting under the religious discussion subjects which at first glance have nothing to do with religion. On the other hand it’s listening to what the people feel the need to discuss, which in the end is illuminated by the bible. It is the people’s church.

Unfortunately most journalists already missed the point by selecting one or two issues. It will be interesting to see how politicians are going to react to this document.

Surprisingly in many countries, nothing is heard of this document. We are referring to Catholic news agencies. As one commentator has commented, it seems that part of the church is boycotting Pope Francis!!

Let’s come to our part where it has given hope to many people that future priests maybe married. Well, it’s not simply that married priests are going to be part of the future and that’s it! The church has to become owned by the common people. The people have to show their fears, hopes, dreams etc… The communities have to become vibrant. Obviously, the communities are lead by couples. In this context, the couple which is animating the community, could be ordained a priest (referring to the man).

Introducing married priests in a church where the community is practically dead won’t bring about the necessary changes! Secondly, simply putting a married couple in a church where they don’t know the community and the community doesn’t know them, would be risking a lot.

We know that many people haven’t been to Amazonia or Latin America. One of the fundamental differences with Western Europe is that the spirit of community is so high! This is not only for the church but rather on every social level. It’s like the old life in our villages where everybody greeted each other and took care of each other.

The second reflection is that the church should be concerned with the environment. One because the environment is truly important (St. Francis had a long vision in this area notwithstanding living in the middle ages). This shows that the church is concerned with what the people experience. It’s not a study about religion with no reference to today! As one had said, one hand on the bible and one hand on the newspaper (referring to today’s concerns).

An interesting part is that of questions. I think it’s unheard of that the Vatican publishes questions in order to help all those discussing the theme! It’s another first for Pope Francis.

Readers have every right to access the document published by the vatican here.

Today we wish to welcome the priests who in great secrecy read our blog. We wish to welcome them in a special way. Looking back, our writing may give the impression that it was too harsh on priests.

So we feel the need to clear the air today. We are not judging anybody, neither the priest nor the woman when they fall in love. On the other hand we cannot accept the fact that some priests do play with a woman’s heart, at times they want simply to have the best of both worlds!

We are the first to acknowledge that it’s not easy from the priest’s part to leave everything and marry the woman. What we are looking for (and most of the women readers too), is sincerity and total transparency. Like in all relationships, there is no clear formula to follow but at least if there is total openness, and real communication, at least the women can understand the priest. The most hated action is that of hot and cold response. They can’t satisfy their conscience simply with the thought that no sex has taken place. Any human being has feelings. Now sharing some information which is considered to be confidential will bring the two persons on a deep level (sex or no sex). That kind of intimacy cannot be deleted too quickly. They cannot simply discard the person after such experience.

We are not pushing anybody into any decision. We had counselled priests who have left and priests who have stayed. We are NOT the ones who take decisions. The priest has to take that decision. No rush, no pressure. Yet one cannot leave a person hanging on for too long. A decision either way has to be taken.

In a normal world, one cannot simply disappear into thin air! A priest has to prove his worth not with beautiful words but in real life. We do know that coming close to a woman is an uncharted sea. We know of all the brainwashing the priest has undergone in the early stages of formation. We have experience with priests’ loneliness. The crave to go back home to a loving person where one can show love in a physical way.

Priests should know that the biggest change in the world, recently, was the celebration of the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965) where instead of the traditional method where people have to put on a straight jacket, one needs to find the principles and God’s call in one’s unique life (which in most cases is not according to tradition).

Perhaps the biggest challenge for priests is that they are used to black and white colours (either good or bad). Well, we are trying to intoduce the grey colour! Priests were taught about morality (which is not simply classifying actions as bad or good). They should have the courage to practice what they’ve been taught.

All in all, we are looking for a dialogue. Let’s keep this discussion going. Let’s not judge or be too defensive. We should come together and discuss seriously in a prayerful way. Many readers have continuously written that we need the voice of more men in order to make our dialogue complete. We cannot see things just from the outside. We need the same men to let us in and see what we cannot see up to now.

The future of the church is at stake. Vocations have dwindled. Letting some married men to become priests will bring that number up although we don’t expect too many. Yet each new vocation counts in the world of today where many are bombarded by social media. Yet the biggest change will not be in numbers but in thought. Married priesthood will be the needed change in the church in order to face the world of today. They will start reflecting on all the teaching of the church from a different point of view. They will have a family to cater for. They will have growing up teens with all the challenges. The priest won’t live in a comfort zone. He has to face all the challenges like all normal people. That is what we’re looking for. On the other hand, how can we speak of spirituality, church etc… if there is no choice for priests? Celibacy should not be tied to priesthood but a free and mature choice after a certain age. Not giving choice to priests will give an ugly face to the church.

Dear priests, we’re waiting for your honest opinion…..don’t be afraid! We’ll protect your name, place etc… No one will know who you really are.

Hi, my name is Christina. I have been reading this blog for a very long time, and it is only today that I found the courage to go ahead and tell a little of my story. This is mainly because I refuse to let it go on any longer. It is in some way a kind of closure on my behalf, and a hope that other women won’t allow themselves to go through the same pain and torment as I have.

Around 10 years ago I met my priest and I had just separated with my fiancée at the time with whom I was still friends with. My fiancée had decided that he was being called to the priesthood and no longer felt called to marriage! My priest was aware of this being as we both attended his church. However, my fiancée and I remained friends and he continued to attend Church with me up until he left for seminary.

I think this is how it all started with my priest. I think he was trying to offer some kind of consolation.

It was a few days after Mass and the first time my priest saw me with my fiancée, my priest asked me who my fiancée was. I told him the situation but he just said “Ah, ok” and appeared deep in thought as if he wanted to ask more questions. I thought nothing of it and as Mass had finished, I just went home. From then on, the priest would stare at my fiancée and myself during Mass, and he would only ever speak to me and never to my fiancée.

A few months passed and I contacted the priest as I needed to have confession. (My fiancée had now left for seminary.) Once confession had finished, he offered refreshments and we were conversing as would be friends. We are around the same age and found that we had a lot of similar interests. We got chatting and he began to tell me that he also had a partner before he entered seminary. He seemed to be able to relate to what I was going through and it was more like a conversation with a friend. He asked for my number, so we exchanged numbers and he told me that I could contact him at any time. I told him that I wouldn’t want to take up his time but he said that he always has time for me. I felt very comforted and reassured to know this as I was understandably quite upset that my fiancée had left. I remembered how he said that I could contact him at any time and there was a period after my fiancée left that I was feeling very down and lonely.

I sent a message to the priest and told him how I was feeling. Thinking back now, he must have felt sorry for me. He invited me to see a show. I regret sending this message now as I feel I may have tempted him without even realising I was doing so. I only went to him as I found him easy to speak with and he seemed very understanding of what I was going through. (None of my friends or family could understand why my fiancée left me to join the priesthood.) Anyway, my priest and I went to see the show and started to grow what I believed was a friendship. We then met again socially on other occasions.

I started to find it odd that he would be so friendly and we would have such a nice time, then I wouldn’t hear from him for months. I once sent him a message to which he didn’t reply, and after a few weeks I messaged again asking if I had done something wrong. He replied in apology for not responding and we arranged to meet. We then met again and saw another show, but all the time I was naively thinking nothing of it on a romantic level. It was after one of our meetings when we were walking along together, that I became aware something was beginning to develop, a feeling that was almost sensed between us, but nothing was said. I knew at this time that I was beginning to fall in love with him and I had no idea if he felt the same.

After this meeting, I didn’t see or hear from him for 3 years and he moved to a different parish. This was a very difficult time for me as not only did I feel I had lost a friend but also felt guilty for having these feelings of love for a priest. I became depressed and was so confused as there was no contact or no explanation.

After 3 years, I received a message from him asking to meet him. Before we met, I was honest with him and told him that I had fallen in love with him. He said that he liked me also but has had to control his feelings. He told me that he was going through a difficult time and decided to take a leave of absence. Not at any time did he say that he did this because of me, so it was all a little bit confusing. We then met on a few occasions and kissed passionately but never had any sexual relations as we always met in public. Had we not been in public, it would definitely have gone further. Things then started to become strange. Any conversation we started became awkward. I asked him if he felt anything for me and he seemed frustrated by my question and did not answer with a direct yes or no answer, but because of his frustration I didn’t want to push it.

It was after this day that he suddenly decided to stop the contact after having spent a really nice time together, and again with no explanation. I tried to contact him but he wouldn’t respond to any messages. After a period of time, he went back to priesthood to which he is managing more than one parish. I have not heard from him since. I became very depressed and have felt suicidal. He has never told me what changed his mind and this has been the most difficult thing for me to deal with. I don’t think that I will ever be able to even begin to recover from this until I have some kind of explanation, but I don’t think that he will ever do this and I don’t understand why.

It has taken me another 3 years to begin to start accepting that nothing will ever come of this because I haven’t heard from him and he will not respond to any communication that I send him. I am devastated and for obvious reasons can’t tell anyone about this situation. I feel forced into silence and suffering, and I am grieving. I fell in love with him and I don’t think this feeling will ever go away.

I’m not sure if he ever felt anything for me as he never actually told me that he loved me. I don’t think I will ever be able to trust another man again, and I don’t attend Church anymore due to a guilty conscience.

Thanks Christina for sharing. You have come to the right place. We know that falling in love is NOT a crime, even with a priest. You did nothing wrong. It’s the priest who should know have known better. At least on a human level he should have spoken very clearly and explained his odd behaviour (we have become familiar with such odd behaviour though!). Please do not punish yourself. God understands our human flesh because he was human too. He is not keeping account of what we do wrong. He is so merciful (just read so many messages from the present Pope Francis). In our opinion it’s time to turn to God to receive his understanding, mercy and infinite love. He does not love us if we behave well! He was always in the company of well known and public sinners. The only time that he was really angry was twice: when they turned His temple into an economical activity and when the priests of that time were totally double faced, they played the role of good people when viewed in public, but behaved differently when all alone……….He never treated sinners in a bad way. On the contrary he is prepared to leave the 99 sheep to go and look for the missing one!

We’re putting you on our prayer wheel. May God Bless you!

I’m Abigail. The Reverend Father is Alex. Basically, we met at a small parish in a rural town in Minnesota. I wanted to convert to Catholicism and after meeting with him for 9 months, I was baptized and confirmed by him during Easter Vigil. Our meetings usually lasted around 2-3 hrs.

We never kissed but we’re the same age and had tons of weird stuff in common. He’d tell me things like, “you’re a very beautiful girl” and “nothing is off the table where you and I are concerned”. He was very confusing in the way he phrased things. I’ve been in love with him for months and I think he feels the same. However, I brought a male friend to my baptism and now Fr. Alex won’t look at me and didn’t respond to my message. He announced last Sunday that his last day would be June 20th. His term was supposed to be for 12 years but now he’s mysteriously leaving after just 2 years???

I shook his hand as I was leaving Mass (as is customary) and he wouldn’t even look at me. He didn’t look at me during his announcement, either.

I asked Abigail some direct questions. Here are the answers.

How was he during the those 9 months? Did he act more like a man than a priest?

He openly adjusted/scratched his genitalia in front of me once. He used crude language often, all the swear words, even the F word. He told me that all every man thought about was sex and how good it feels and how much they need it and want it (even though I didn’t ask him that and it had nothing to do with our conversation.) His language was always overtly sexual. He was constantly saying things like ‘screw’, ‘fuck’, etc. He talked about breasts a lot, too and mentioned pornography a lot.

Did he ever sit next to you (touching you) ?

He always wanted me to sit at the end of the table, while he sat on the right of me. The closest we could possibly be at the table. Oftentimes when we were standing, he’d stand so close to me that our shoulders touched. He didn’t pull away.

What other kind of language you think was weird for a priest parishioner relationship? Did he ever use any body language to hint that he wanted more from you?

Besides the overtly sexual language, he told me we could meet ‘informally’ outside of the church anytime I wanted to. One time we were talking and he was trying to remove his coat and he was so engaged with me and staring at me that he couldn’t focus to remove his coat and he said, “Damn, I’m all fucked up today.”

How do you know that you’re in love? Can you prove that he loves you? What signs does he give to you to make you think that he is in love?

We were in the sanctuary and we just stared at each other for over a minute with intense eye contact (‘bedroom eyes’) and he mimicked my body language as if our bodies/torsos were in sync. He described his old girlfriends and their description was the exact same as my description, down to hair and eye color and interests. He’d follow me after our meetings until I turned down a side street. He got noticeably quiet when I’d talk about my past lives and he even chastised me for having a long term boyfriend. I broke up with the guy and anytime he was mentioned Fr would say, “I bet he just wants to have sex with you! That’s what he wants is sex! If you talk to him, he’s going to think that you’ll have sex with him!” Sex, sex, sex!

Was he in competition then with your male friend?

I brought 4 people to my baptism. A married couple, an older lady, and my friend Eric. He made it a point to talk to them and engage them in conversation, all except Paul. He did not even shake his hand but he shook my other guests hands. He wouldn’t even look at Paul and was extremely cold, to the point that my other guests asked me what Fr Alex issue was with Paul. He was baptizing another person on the same night as my baptism and he didn’t even go speak to the other persons guests. He ignored them. He spent 20 minutes after with me & my guests though, totally unsolicited.

Abigail is one of our readers who have the courage to publish her story. There is no place for judgement on our blog. Let’s see what God is telling us through another love story which involves a priest. In the meantime, being a new comer to the Catholic Faith, let’s pray that Abigail won’t loose her faith in God and the church!

Maltese Identity

Due to a shortage in romantic stories, we are presenting a study about religious behaviour in one single country. Malta (Europe) used to be a bastion for other Catholic Countries. Yet the tide of secularisation has arrived swiftly. Old people can surely feel the great changes which have taken place, the one most noticeable is the attending of the Sunday Mass.

Married priesthood can be an asset in the sense that having teenagers growing up in one’s family, one notices a great difference the way they interact with God, prayer, morality etc……it’s no easy task to talk to your own teenagers!!!! Yet the daddy priest would be in a better place to understand what’s going on with today’s young generation. We insist that the married priest would present a different agenda on how to work with people in the parish. Surely most young people feel alienated from the parish. There is rarely an activity going on the parish which is done in order to attract the young ones.

Before we present the sociological results, we wish to make clear some points which otherwise would not be understood. The study was done during Lent. In Malta Lent has some cultural importance as it is reflected in ways people live their spirituality. One of the most visible signs is the popular Good Friday procession in the street where it’s part and parcel of the local culture. One priest says more people come to church during this day, then Good Friday! Such is the strong pull of Our Lady on the Maltese population.

A quick look at the capital city one notices the tall and strong walls surrounding it. The idea was to keep other people from entering the city. In some sense, it still conveys the same idea. In fact nobody gave the news that the Pope might call married men for priesthood! In Malta shockingly we still keep some news out from circulation. On the same lines, nobody tells the people that once a priest, always a priest. They are still brainwashed that a priest who decides to change job/vocation is considered as ‘ex’ or in other words considered not to be a priest any longer.

Another European issue is getting much attention, that is the issue of legal and illegal migrants, terrorism and the blackmailing of Muslims, all have contributed to the people to return to the church. In other words it’s like in a war: more people would return to church just because they are afraid!

Notwithstanding all this, a very high percentage is in favour of married priests. Though we are just under the 50%, yet those against are mostly over 50s. Consequently the tide in favour of married priests in this conservative Catholic country is gaining momentum too!

https://is.gd/8MGRWW

On a more global vision, an article is mentioning what our present Pope is facing in the church itself. We think it’s worthwhile reading.

https://www.ncronline.org/news/vatican/interim-results-pope-francis-revitalizes-vatican-ii-reforms

We agree to disagree

In publishing a blog, one meets many new people. Some are very sociable and some are not. Some have very clear ideas, others tend to stay on a dividing line never committing themselves to any idea or philosophy. In any case, although sometimes we blame social media for keeping people at home for too long, yet one does meet a lot of people. Meeting other people there is the chance of forming up a community especially when we share our main goal.

We are very happy that we have formed a very large ‘online’ community. We stick to the definition ‘community’ because we are growing up together in a spiritual way. Growing up could create problems though, as terminology, because indirectly it might imply that others are still infants or very young. In one sense, community explains our spiritual welfare but in other cases we prefer the term ‘journey’.

When one travels to another part of the country or a different country, one meets new customs, people, way of life etc….it doesn’t mean that others who are not travelling at the moment are less or more. Maybe they have travelled earlier, or they have travelled to another country. The main meaning is that we are discovering. We are in no position to feel better or worse than others. In fact reading some of the experiences of some readers have helped us to understand what was practically hidden for many years or better centuries!

Once a famous author (of which I have forgotten the name!), has said that relatives are the most people who might hurt us!!! Why? Because when we are close to a person, we get to know that person in a deep way. Now a person is very complex. There are various levels of growth and emotions. Obviously one day or another we are going to disagree. Shall we stop the relationship? Shall we try to convert him/her to our ideas? Shall we tell the person to shut up? Shall we go away? Shall we label her/him? Shall we accept him/her as he/she is?

These are all possible scenarios that we could find ourselves in. We do remember another famous author who once said that before one goes into discussion, one tries to remember that when we start a discussion we try to look for new ideas or for a different aspect which we have not taken into consideration. The main point is that what is so dear for us, for another person might be meaningless!!! We do not hold all the truth in our hands! We do realise that this is a very high goal to achieve because many discussions online turn into anything except the true meaning of the word discussion!

We know that some people online, maybe because their face is hidden, turn into bullies! They try to silence any opposition with their choice of words! Others feel that other people are given them a bad name or judging them. Others feel offended as soon as other people might disagree with their opinion. Some of our readers might feel offended why we did let other people express themselves in such a way. Yes we do acknowledge that some people need to change their choice of words or better, be more diplomatic when they are expressing themselves, but if we start to edit people’s opinion we would be on a dangerous mission because then who is going to decide what to publish and what not to publish? And on what grounds?

Others are really creative when they build up a whole story on a single comment….practically they give us the impression that there is a whole army against them! Unfortunately they don’t realise that it’s their mind who is playing games. Somebody wrote a comment…let’s stop there. Let’s not build a series of comments just on what he/she might imply with his/her comments!!!!

Some people give the impression that everybody has to agree with their ideas! Others think that whatever Mr X or Ms Y writes, is referring to them!! Some people in the USA live with a different mentality: sue people for things shared online. Well in Europe things are different. We do not sue people because we believe in the freedom of expression. To sue people is the same as killing all kind of discussion. In that case it’s better not to participate in any kind of discussion. Stay at home and build a fairy tale castle where everything takes place according to your own wishes!

All this points to an important point: we need to learn what a public forum or discussion on the internet means.

Educating adult people does not mean to teach them by heart some principles (as we used to think!). It’s a journey where they experience life and they form up their own principles. We cannot impose our values and principles. We try to give witness to what we believe. Jesus was the perfect teacher, yet not everybody listened to His message. So we can’t expect a better answer from our listeners!

On the other hand, it doesn’t mean that those who do not abide by our own way of thinking are bad or worse than us!!! The Vatican Council II has written a wonderful document dealing with the church in the world today. We should be in a dialogue with the ‘world’ (=people who believe differently). Condemning is not our option. Actually that is God’s work because He knows everything and sees everything.

One last note: all comments are vetted by me. This is because there is a lot of marketing going on. If we let readers to write directly on the blog, there would hundreds of them promoting any kind of product. So if your comment takes some time to appear it’s because I’m doing something else at the moment (I have to earn my living too because this blog is voluntary and it doesn’t pay my bills).

May God bless you all and thanks for forming up one single community notwithstanding that we might not agree on certain terms/ideas etc…

As we ended our hug, we kissed…

Hello my name is Maria. I’m from Italy. I apologize if my English is not very good.

I bumped into your blog a few days ago and since then I have read a lot of stories that remind me of my own. I always thought I was a one in a million, but I found out that a lot of women know exactly like I feel after all.

I am 44 years old and I met my priest 10 years ago when my girls went to the school where he was the Director. I started to attend mass at that parish where later I became a catechist for 6 years and a member of the church choir (still am).

We began talking more and became friends 6 years ago when I became more and more involved in the activities of the parish. My husband at the time was also a catechist, so we spent a lot of time together. My marriage was having some problems for some time and I looked for him every time I needed to talk, always looking for someone to hear me and advise me. He was the only person I felt comfortable enough to cry and every time we had our conversations I would cry and cry and cry….

My husband and I were driving apart, there were no fights or anything like that between us, but we simply drove apart after having our children. Our kids are everything to us and through the years we forgot about each other, we stopped investing in us as a couple and doing things together like going to a movie or go out for dinner. At that point in my live I felt completely lost….

We used to meet at his office at church and sometimes at his house. We became closer and closer, changing texts throughout the day.

One day we were at his house and after a long conversation we said goodbye and hugged each other (like so many times before), but as we drove away from the hug we kissed and that’s when all started. We didn’t plan it, I never looked at him as a man, only as a priest and a very dear friend until that day. I enjoyed his company very much, loved talking to him because at that time I was in the middle of a depression (still am) and he was the only person I could talk to regarding my marriage problems.

After the kiss we just stared at each other for a couple of minutes not knowing what to say just apologizing to each other. I remember I drove home that night very surprised with what just happened but feeling an immense joy and inner peace.

The next day we talked about it and he said he always had enjoyed my company and he knew he felt different when he was with me, but never understood why. I felt like I never did before with anyone. One of the first things he said to me was that he was never going to leave priesthood because “I love what I am” but that he loved me also in a way he never experienced before.

A few weeks later I decided it was time to end my marriage and so I did. My husband and I had a serious talk and decided it was time to separate although we would still be living together because of the kids.

After three months my priest left the school direction because he was invited by our bishop to be responsible for a bigger school that belonged to the diocese, but he would continue to see me in he parish. It was a very big challenge for him, he started working there over 9 hours a day and then went to say mass everyday. He worked too hard for the first year ending up with a major depression/exhaustion. Soon the doctor made him realize he had to decrease the amount of working hours and medicated him so he could sleep better and rest. In that year we saw each other only on Sundays at mass and texted very little. Sometimes we would have lunch together but he was always very quiet and very depressed.

He began to feel better and text me more often, he was happy, motivated, saying he needed me and never wanted to lose me.

My life was very difficult after all that happened, living in the same house as my husband, falling in love with a priest, seeing him a lot less, all of that broke me. My depression got a lot worse, there were days I couldn’t get out of bed, didn’t want to see any sunlight, be with my kids, work….. All I wanted to do was sleep and cry, I stopped eating and lost a lot of weight at the time. I have to admit that my faith was starting to get weaker and weaker although my priest never left my side, always worried and kept trying to make me get out of the house and see people which I didn’t want to do, see or talk to anyone.

After 3 years of living together I had a huge fight with my husband and decided I wanted to kill myself because I was no good to anyone, I was just making everyone miserable. I texted him that night and told him that I didn’t want to live anymore, that I had enough of pain. He panicked and called my mother and told her to go immediately to my house because I was about to do a crazy thing. When my mother got there I couldn’t stop crying and we decided I would move to her house the day after. So I did, I stayed there for a few weeks before I moved to an apartment where I have been living alone for the past 4 months.

My priest and I have been together for 3 years, with a lot of ups and downs, we broke up a lot of times, but we definitely can’t live without one another. We see each other a few days a week, go out for dinner, sometimes we take a day off and go somewhere nice.

All of the times we broke up, it was always because of me, it always leaves him and me devastated… I respect the fact that he loves what it does, he doesn’t want to leave priesthood and he doesn’t want to loose “us”, he says he feels completed that way and I truly understand, but on the other hand sometimes I feel very lonely, it’s sad not being able to hold hands in public, not being able to be with him in important occasions like his recent 25th anniversary of priesthood or our birthdays. Almost everyday he has meetings at night because he’s responsible for 2 parishes.

I can’t talk to anyone because no one can understand what I’m going through, sometimes not even myself. Women who fall in love with a priest must prepare herself to be most understanding, patient and forgiving. Sometimes it will require more giving than receiving. She must be strong to help, guide and assist him through difficult moments of depression and doubts because a priest, despite his outer austere shell, deep down, is extremely vulnerable and in need of all the support and love he can get. But sometimes I feel like I have no strength to go on, I fear for the future thinking I will end up alone… In all this time we have been together I always felt God was with us, that he is blessing us because he knows that our love is true.

Am I wasting my time with someone that I know loves me and loves priesthood? Why should he be forced to choose? I truly believe my love for him, makes him live his calling on a higher level! I never loved anyone like I love him!

After reading you blog I do think we all have much to learn from one another.  I have so much to learn from each one of your experiences.
I‘m grateful to me given the opportunity to share my story with someone that will understand my joys and my grieves, the extreme emotions that a relationship like this brings.
May God bless you Rev. Daniel.

Dear readers let’s support Maria! Let’s pray for all her needs. Let’s share our thoughts in a kind, non-judgemental way. May God Bless you all!

The new parish working plan

In soccer, there is an occasion when a player instead of scoring against his opponents, scores against his own team!!! It is called an own goal! Something similar I noticed on our own blog lately. Instead of being happy that somebody takes the initiative, like small children we start stomping our feet until our demands are met!

This is not something simple. After centuries of priest domination in the church, some lay people won’t accept anybody except another priest. The priest has practically given the idea that the church is priest centered. This is because many people have stopped reading the bible. They have never attended any theological discussion or had any theological formation. When the people are not informed they can be easily manipulated! One can easily google the net to find out if the priest dominated model is the truly biblical main point or not! One can debate what is the position of the priest vis-a-vis the parish (local church).

In the first years of the church, we had many communities without priests! In the Latin American continent today, there are so many vibrant communities which are lead by lay people! They have in fact given out a new model for all the world to follow: the base level communities! Please do google this information!

On the other hand, in the so called Western World, we are heading into priestless parishes! Just one impertinent question: how many brave parents transmit their faith to their children? Can we dismiss it just because they are not ‘ordained priests’? How many people take care of the community in which they are living?

We are not alienated. We don’t have one medicine to solve all the church’s woes! The fact that we have been urging the church to let priests marry does not solve all problems! We are still going to face priestless parishes!!!

Our main goal to let priest marry, is, because of such development the whole church stands to benefit, especially when writing the social teaching of the church.

Some people were not happy that a woman had offered her services to our blog. Are we going to protest because there is a woman who is preaching this week in the parish? Are we going to protest because there is a married man who is administering our parish? If yes, then the Holy Spirit has in store a lot of surprises for our spiritual development!!!

In any case, the future is really interesting. We cannot be like old, grumpy people who compare the present with their idyllic past which has long been buried!! We need to face the new spiritual growth which like Abraham, calls us to leave our own methods, our own comfort zones and seek new pastures! Statistics (if not our own spiritual renewal), will tell us that the number of priests is going lower and lower. Now what? What do our readers suggest? For sure we can’t multiply the number of priests (even though we allow some married people to become priests).

Please do write your opinion as this makes our blog more alive and kicking. Hopefully it will lead to our spiritual growth!

An author has announced the year 2019 as the year where married priests will be introduced in the Catholic Church. See the link.

Well, we never get tied to a particular date for various reasons. But on the other hand married priests are already here..look at those coming from the Anglican side. They are accepted with their wives. On the other hand, priesthood is forever. Hence some of the priests who have left officially are still working as priests albeit in different conditions. So strictly speaking, married priests are already here! But if the Pope says it, one knows that it’s so important. Consequently it means that married people (not connected with the Anglican side) will be considered for priesthood. No word was given about those who have left officially or about those priests who wish to marry now!

We are so happy because the number of priests has dwindled immensely. The alternative is to close the parishes and leave Catholics without instruction in faith plus without the sacraments!

On a different level, hopefully it will bring about a new kind of church. The married person is not like the one who is closed in a cloister. He is still living in today’s world. Hence he has first hand information about what really happens outside the building of the church. One advantage would be, that in his work most probably there are people without a religion, of a different faith, or who have left the church a long time ago. He is already in a good condition to listen and to take part in an interesting dialogue! He has his own teens who question everything and don’t obey on purpose…..

Our Louise is presenting a golden opportunity. She is a person who would like to do something in daily life to change things. How I wish that more readers become active in order to break the silence and we all start to present a different view of the church.

She has started a one to one Skype sessions for the women and also for the priests who wish to have support and verbalize what they are going through, live with her. By experience she knows how liberating it is to be able to talk with a real person, and so she thought to offer her time to anyone who wishes to share their experience in a safe and confidential environment, where they won’t be judged and where they will be understood with empathy and compassion. They can contact her via her email, then from there she will give them her personal information on how to reach her on Skype. My email is louise@forbidden-to-love.com
In case they prefer to speak to a priest, I’m available too. They simply need to write a comment and ask so that it won’t be published.

May God Bless you all! I’ll keep all of you in my daily prayers.