Tag Archive: priest touched my breasts


Churchgoers and the unchurched!

Young people struggle to find their place on earth. They have to get to know themselves really well in order to find what are they going to do with their own lives. Consequently they’ll find the right job and then hopefully, the right partner!

I see something similar in the church. We all know that life has changed drastically. We see things differently for various reasons. What about the church? Well many people have left. Others have stayed. Yet, on what level do they participate? Most of them simply follow the same timetable and principles for ages. Others are contrary to any change. Surveys have shown that most people who are still attending church, are in their majority ‘conservative’ people. It means that they oppose great changes for whatever reason! Some of these people would like to remove Pope Francis just because they think he is taking away the old teaching of the church. Well, they are truly ignorant of the gospel because most of the apostles were married!! See https://www.thedailybeast.com/vatican-may-approve-married-priests-but-conservative-catholics-arent-celebrating

So can one expect great changes? I don’t think so because the most people who are the right agents for change have long left. So who can make changes after all? Sincerely we don’t have an answer!

This is in part the society of today: we wish to make changes yet no one would like to be in the midst of the struggle! When we were young they used to tell us the story of the mice and the big, ferocious cat. The mice had their meeting in order to put a bell around the neck of the cat. After hours of discussion, one old mouse, in a soft voice just asked: Who is going to put the bell around the cat’s neck? Silence fell. It’s useless that we would like changes to take place if we abandon the church!

I know from experience that going for church’s meetings it’s not the most interesting job of the world. Sometimes one has to meet lots of old people (with all due respect to the old ones whom we cherish a lot). Most of them seem to be stuck in the 1900s! We see the usual faces. Very rare to see new ones! Besides, the young ones are not easy to make them attend besides the 1001 appointments that they have to attend to!

To add insult to injury, in the world, in a generic sense, there is a lot of prejudice or ignorance of what the true religion says! So many valid persons who have lots of talents, won’t come to church owing to prejudice, ignorance or outright hate of all that pertains to the religious world! This is one of the most challenging visions of the church. How can we bring back the lost majority? What kind of teaching do we present? What are people looking for?

Again we present the married priest as a one who is living in the world today! He has the right mixture to be an ambassador to many young, adults or non-believers. The fact that they see him struggling with everyday normal timetables, would be a great asset. As Pope Paul the sixth once wrote: the world doesn’t need preachers but rather people who testify with their own lives!

Easter Sunday

The gospels are interesting to read from several points of view. One of them is for contrasts. The people next to Jesus who have witnessed the most astonishing miracles, walked side by side with Him for some years. They are so proud of their master. On Good Friday they are nowhere to be seen. They are terrified of anyone associating them with Jesus. Peter made a solemn oath of not knowing Jesus!

The leader is gone. All the followers run for their lives. They are nowhere to be seen. But they have witnessed the most extraordinary events in their lives??!! This is because fear took over. One of the biggest threats to faith is fear. Fear of what the others might say. Fear of being judged. Fear of being different. Fear of showing your true faith to others. Fear of loosing friends. Fear of being fired. Fear of the future. Fear of others. Fear of the immigrants. Fear of…….The list goes on and on.

Are we afraid? Afraid of what? The fact that I don’t have more stories (for the time being), means that people are afraid of sharing their intimate story with a priest, even though we promised not to reveal real names nor geographical position!

If we wish to see change in the church and yet we are not ready to jump, then maybe we are procrastinating change in the Catholic Church. Maybe like the apostles we are still experiencing Good Friday but not Easter Sunday!

Jesus has won death itself – our greatest enemy. What are we afraid of, exactly? Why is this fear keeping us from transmitting our message? When discussing with others, it’s the others who might be afraid of change, not us!

We have to start the ball rolling as we don’t expect others, especially the priests to speak in our name! On the other hand, it might be interpretated as Pharisaic because whilst we demand the priest to leave everything for the name of love, we are so afraid to touch the hot potato subject of married priests. Myself, I have lost the ‘comfortable’ job of working at the university. Other priests had to emigrate. Others receive a very low pay. Others are still shunned by most of the people, family members included! A few of them have committed suicide. I wish I could reveal the many emails/communication that I receive. Unfortunately, everybody seems to be a victim of fear as they don’t give me permission to publish!

One of the tactics used by most bishops, is that these are very few cases! This is not true. But how can I explain that I have so many cases on my hands if I cannot disclose any information about many stories?

I truly believe that everybody can do something small but with great love and determination. One can send messages through many parts of the world in different ways. I can’t give a general formula for everybody! It’s up to each person to study it’s own personal life and act accordingly.

May the Risen Christ give you enough courage to be bold enough and strengthen the church by suggesting married priesthood.

Who gives birth? Who is side by side with a new born baby? Who breasts feed the baby? Who answers the child’s questions? Who teaches him about God? The answer is usually (although there are some exceptions) a woman. Women, whether we acknowledge it or not, are the apostles who speak about God to their child. They are the ones who facilitate the relationship between God and the new born child. This continues for several years. Most probably during the teen’s years, existential questions may be asked by the young teenager which leaves some parents with their mouths wide open, in awkward silence.

Women are already acting like priests in their own families because they bring God to their family. What’s missing? It’s their input in the parish. We all know that more priests and bishops are becoming aware of the lack of priests in parishes (in Europe and North America). The first response is being that of amalgamating parishes. This is contrary to what people expect, because today we look for a sense of belonging in our parish. Now if the parish becomes bigger, that sense of community disappears. If that disappears, most probably church attendance will go down too. If that happens, what happens to Christianity if we don’t meet every Sunday? How are people going to learn how to find God in their busy lives?

One German bishop, is proposing a different path (finally). Yes lay people (those who are not priests), can manage a parish! Can you understand the meaning and the implications of it? Yes women too can manage a parish. The Holy Spirit always moves in hidden areas. There are many people out there who think that the Catholic Church will never change (it’s against our faith!!). Yet surprises will never stop in our life. The main problem is always the same. We have our own agenda and we want God to obey our ‘orders’. God will move his church when he deems fit. Obviously some of us who wish to hurry, will feel disappointed. Yet, as Catholics we have to bow to God’s will as we daily pray through our Father.

Now what does this mean? We need to prepare many lay people in order to take over our parishes. Obviously, they need preparation. When it comes to managing people, I do believe that some people are already highly qualified to do such job. The same goes for accounts and other daily running schedules. Yet the most important one (ie implying for married priests), they need to be trained in theological studies. This week I posted a link to a preacher who emphasized the role of women deacons in the early church. Now how many women know about that? Very few. If more lay people go to such courses, we could manage the church much better. Trained people is the best answer for tomorrow’s church because as we have seen in Germany, lay people one day will take over (with or without the consent of some priests!). Statistically this is beyond any doubt as future numbers will force the church to change path. The important thing is that we’ll have a good number of lay people who are prepared to take over as otherwise, unprepared and unqualified people will do more harm than good.

Let’s start thinking about the future, today or right now! May God Bless you all!

One of the most important aspects of this blog, is that women are giving a wonderful insight about falling in love with a priest. They are showing a new kind of theology, one that speaks from the heart. One that starts from real experience.

On the other hand, we feel responsible to provide the missing link….how the priest thinks, behaves and decides. What makes a priest decide to stay?

Is it a spiritual reason? In very few cases yes. The priest believes that his love affair was something that brought about a big change in his life but it encouraged him to tune in or invest, in a better relationship with God, the church and in the case of a religious priest, to lighten up his fraternity.

In most cases, though, we believe that other reasons hold the priest on a ‘ransom’.

One of the most common reasons is that of brain washing. The priest has been bombarded with the same message for years. How can he now let go of all of it? It’s still a common culture in seminaries (place where priests are trained), to keep some distance from women; to take extra care; don’t give too much personal attention; don’t show too much interest; some are outright and very explicit against women that they see them as ‘devils’……..

The fact that a priest finds some time to talk to a woman outside the priest-penitent relationship, might already make him feel guilty! The concept of ‘sin’ is carved inside the skin of a priest and it may play havoc with a relationship. Excommunication is another word which has lost meaning for today’s world but NOT for the priest. He might be excommunicated (send off, he won’t be part of the church officially) if he marries a woman without dispensation (permit from the Pope). All this forms part of a legal framework which many women find hard to understand, let alone digest. Now applying for a dispensation may become a nightmare for the priest as they ask so many intimate questions (and against human rights), that makes him feel like an ant…..in other words it’s like a rape.

The hidden message is that if one wants to get out, he has to bare it all, or it’s like putting the soul in the nude. Some people think that God’s judgement won’t be that harsh or that deep!! The worst of all is that the priest has to admit that he has fallen and cannot live the gospel! The official words would be: from priesthood he is to be reduced to the lay (ie means not a priest and neither a religious person who lives in a monastery) state!!!

All of this creates a barrier for the priest to decide. It makes it practically impossible to leave.

He’s used to speak to a crowd but not to a one to one relationship. He’s used to have a ‘platform’ ie to speak with authority. How can he make himself vulnerable to a woman? He is caught unawares falling in love, because he feels so uncomfortable in a relationship. Normally he sees many people but nobody stays with him to get to know him so well.
Another big hurdle is that of the safety net within the church where he receives money plus lots of benefits (including retirement). If he goes out, most of his ecclesiastical certificates count to nothing (unless a good job counsellor teaches him how to translate his skills into a normal job vocabulary).

In most cases he needs a place to live…maybe the present one is in the parish or where people have known him as a priest in a parish…..now the same people look at him differently!!! In other words he needs to move out and most probably he needs help to sell his apartment and buys another one. In the case of the religious priest, in most cases he doesn’t have money at all to buy basic necessities, let alone an apartment!!!! So it makes it 100% impossible to leave.

The priest as an unmarried priest relies heavily on his family. What does his family say? Can he go against them if they don’t agree? Most probably his family understands his decision. They can’t see him suffer anymore…..but what is the problem? They can’t face the people because they are going to be victims too (this could be the major reason why they don’t side with him!!!), which brings us to the gossip problem.

The hear say or the gossip reason, is the one which the priest preached against, now is one of the major reasons why it makes his life so miserable. It’s not only him but her as well. She might be easily slandered and nicknamed unchristian names!!! It’s so hard for a public figure to make that change. Most woman don’t understand the public role a priest has. Everybody looks up to him. Now the column of the town has left…..most people don’t like uncertainty and consequently they make the priest pay heavily for that. Other people have confessed crimes etc….now they see him holding hands…..they might feel vulnerable and crossing unchartered waters.

These are only some of the reasons. We leave the rest to our intelligent and God seeking readers to explain more fully and to write about other reasons too. May God Bless you all! You have given birth to a new theology, one that makes God incarnated (born of flesh) into our unique and personal lives. Happy Christmas to all!