Tag Archive: priest touched my breasts


I don’t have in mind to become a doctor or else to give medical advice on what to do or how to prevent the coronavirus! Yet as a married priest I can’t help it, in writing about some parallel lines with our basic idea of married priesthood.

Fear. If languages divide us, yet one common language was seen throughout the whole world these last weeks: FEAR. When people are afraid, one is surprised what they might do. The case of the corona beer which clearly has nothing to do with the sickness has been victimised…just because it has the corona name, many people are not buying it any more!!! It’s incredible, yet when fear takes over, common sense goes out!

What did we do as a Catholic Church for so many years? The fear of death and hell has made many people submissive to our teachings. I do know of cases where at the point of death, some people have left all their possessions to the church in the belief that they would have won heaven!! Alas, their children might have gone hungry or became poor in the meantime!

In this context, now I do see why so many people are afraid to share their stories of love with a priest. Fear takes over. Even though we promise to change any details in order to protect their identity. How can we liberate these people from the slavery of fear?

Now I do understand what a friend of mine used to say: fire does not kill many people. Panic does! In fact many people in a fire die because of panic and not of fire in itself! Who hasn’t seen the crowds in the supermarkets where some people came to blows in order to buy basic items? Some psychologists called it the fear of the unknown.

Some people panic when the priest declares himself to be married. They want to stay but their panic takes control and they go to a ‘normal church’ to get married or to get baptised. There isn’t an adult faith. It’s just convenience! They are not born fighters! A married catholic priest is an unknown entity in their religious background! It’s fear of the unknown!

Look how people invaded some supermarkets and bought more than enough portions of basic needs! Some people rightly say that the longest journey in the world is not a geographical destination but rather the I to become WE! The supermarkets gave enough proof that we need to work more on community feeling and understanding. It’s one of the main missing type of work in many parishes! We still find it too difficult to leave behind the factory of sacraments to start community building as a main issue in parish work.

One of the expressions which is has become fashionable is the internet of things. Well, in some countries they have been locked in. It goes without saying that many people have to revert to the internet to spend their time and/or to communicate and/or to buy some necessities. We are experiencing a social experiment where we are practically living just with our family members. All other people are ‘virtual’.

Well, many parishes and priests have been caught on the wrong foot. How many of them can use the internet in order to proclaim the Good News? Although many of them have social media accounts, yet they have never used the internet as a medium for their work! They still relied on churches to meet people. Yet, people, especially the young ones, are practically 24/7 on the internet. Shall the coronavirus scare teach them a lesson to start using the internet more? Can we use it for the married priesthood? This was one of our thoughts at the beginning and it still is. We weren’t allowed space in a ‘normal parish’. We didn’t find it a problem because we already knew that the internet would have gained more popularity. Consequently we would meet more young people online rather than in a ‘normal church’!! One has to note that the internet is not to be used simply as a space for mass or for other lecture type of work!!

Within the virtual world, how can we enhance the sense of community? This is going to be our next challenge. People meet online, easily. Yet it doesn’t turn them into a community. One of them is the exchange of views or ideas. We do need to respect others especially when we do not agree. We can’t call others names! We cannot judge others. We have to see the frail, human face behind the monitor or the written message.

The work of community building is a never ending job. It’s not always full of roses, although even roses have thorns! We need to have more people who believe that as a community we can achieve more and better. One, on his own, cannot achieve much.

Going alongside the big wave

One of the things which effects our society is that without knowing it we are living as if in separate compartments! How many times we notice people eating at a restaurant, yet they talk very little, all glued to their mobile phones? Others on a train, bus etc… all searching on their mobile phone. What’s happening to our society? In this change of humanity it’s going to be extra difficult to explain to people about any subject. We do remember nostalgically the times when we used to have arguments on a bus or any other public place. Yet, most of us are silent, reading on our mobile phones. Most probably we are just updating ourselves about the latest gossip or non-significant news!

As always, more than crying or reminiscing about the past, we have to live today. How can we turn the internet in our favour? In this sense, we are not without hope. This blog has started being unnoticed for the first few years. Where are we now? We have hundreds of followers without spending one dime in publicity! It’s the quest for information which has brought so many followers. Every women falling in love or meeting the priest who shows more than just some interest, are going to start thinking and looking for other people having similar experience/s. Although the internet was promoted for free views, there are very few spaces on the internet which openly discuss love with a priest!

Our aim is not simply to attract women having relationships with priests, but rather the general public. First of all we need the help of all our readers! Everybody nowadays has at least one social account! If one shares our thoughts on social media, we would be making our presence felt. Today we can do publicity without asking big companies to do this job. Personally we don’t like big companies not only because we have to fork out a hefty sum of money but rather because we don’t like large crowds. We need the right people instead. In other words, we need people who are not brainwashed. Experience have taught us that it’s useless to spend time arguing with some people especially in the Catholic Church.

One big asset is the big link people feel about married priests. He is married too. He has kids. He faces the same challenges! The people already feel that this change should be made possible in the church. So what are we afraid of?

Besides another great asset is the consequence of married priests. Just looking at past history in theology we see that most of the time we have discussed issues which were so important for non-married priests, yet they had little relevance in the life of the married people which always formed the biggest group in the church! The married priest does not need any conference or wake up call to investigate the family today. He is facing such challenges on a daily basis!

As we would be conducting dialogue on the internet, we expect the repetition of old ideas. Can the priest have a family and minister to the people? Well it has become a joke lately. If one just looks at churches in the Western part of the world, one cannot ignore the fact that most churches are empty. So why are we continuing this lie of a priest who has a lot of work to do??!! It’s an open secret that the sacrament of reconciliation has practically disappeared for most people! Mass has lost its attraction to so many people. In fact it’s not uncommon to hear people saying that they skip mass regularly. There are many other experiences which prove that the so called traditional work in the church is getting less and less.

The married priest movement has the power to present the teaching of the church [including some significant changes] from the point of view of a married person who is trying to teach his own sons and/or daughters who are growing up and challenging every sign of law, obedience and tradition!

In any case we are firmly convinced that nobody can stop the big wave. We can postpone it for some time, but one day it will take over. Married priesthood is a must for the Catholic Church today.

The concept of a team

When one is watching TV on his/her own, one can watch any station for any reason. Once the person is joined by just one single person, the scenario changes completely. One cannot watch any station in the new situation. There are two people now. They have to discuss what are they going to watch. Most probably two people have different tastes and ideas about what to watch.

In the church we are still individuals. Most people think about themselves and God. Whenever one starts meeting others for faith talks, one starts seeing cracks. The others don’t understand me; they label me; I feel threatened. This is just some of the comments that we priests witness when trying to gather together a flock. I thought that it was only when it comes to face to face meetings. No, it’s online too. When we don’t see eye to eye we start fighting!

Some people might think that they have lost their faith as they see Christians fighting each other. Well, let’s be blunt: fighting between Christians is not a good publicity at all and under certain principles it shouldn’t exist at all. Yet, if one reads the bible regularly and in a prayerful mode, one discovers many instances where fighting becomes the order of the day; whether it’s physical, emotional or on any other level!

There is never a dull moment in the bible. It happened to Christ himself. He wanted to start His church. He could have done it all alone with no mistakes, perfect method and perfect publicity. Maybe it would have progressed with no hiccups! But that’s our human mind who does not want to face any difficulties, sicknesses, challenges and different opinions then the ones held in our grey matter.

Christ himself chose Peter. He was surely not the diplomatic or ideal person at all with no academical qualifications! Sincerely, who would have chosen Peter out of all people? From the practical point of view there were others who were more qualified for the job. Yet Christ chose Peter. We can never comprehend God’s will 100%.

Reflecting on such events one may come to some interesting points. Is the job of Peter so important after all? Who is in command of the church: Peter or God? Who can perform more than humans: Peter or God? If the church were to be based on human beings, it would have already collapsed! Yet it has a unique long history of at least 2000 years. Is this not a miracle in itself?

Some people might have lost faith after the sexual abuse scandal which turned out to be incredibly universal. Yet it’s not the first time that the church has faced such difficult situations. If one mentions the case when the Pope had six illegitimate sons….when we had two Popes at the same time…when the Pope was more similar to a king than a real shepherd and had attacked and conquered other nations…. when the Vatican was going to be attacked during World War II…

In the bible we have one of the earliest quarrels in the church when both Peter and Paul had totally different opinions about the process of joining the church itself!

We have just seen one aspect: the lack of cohesion and agreement in the ‘crowd’ mentality. How about advantages? Could one have all the ideas of the world in his mind? Could one have all the talents, the spiritual power, the will to help the church? Surely not. That’s why we need the others. Besides there Christ’s words that when two or three people are gathered in his name, He is there, present.

The idea of a team is that a good coach studies each and every member and puts him/her in the right place. It’s useless if we start pointing out the bad side of each person. Jesus is in command of His church. We have to pray more in order to see things from God’s point of view. He knew about his apostles’ weak side, yet He chose those twelve in order to kick start his greatest project on earth – the church. Shall we start dissecting his apostles to look out for defects? Or shall we accept them as God’s messengers?

When facing other people in the church, yes we’re going to meet with sins, fragility, incompetence, hard headed people etc…..yet they are all in God’s wonderful hands who can transform a cemetery into a living group of people! He is God of the impossible and not just of that which is possible!

From our experience, being responsible of a parish, we always tried to find people for particular jobs whilst having a blind eye for their defects. One who talks a lot might be used to transmit quick and urgent messages in the parish! One who was good in projects undertaking was used to conduct projects in the parish. One who was full of peaceful thoughts was brought in when having arguments etc…

If one wants to meet the new baby Jesus in the coming months, why not make a list of positive aspects about your ‘enemy’!!! If you want to dig deeper, why don’t you go for the second step: how can we use your positive side and his/her positive side to the benefit of the church?

Churchgoers and the unchurched!

Young people struggle to find their place on earth. They have to get to know themselves really well in order to find what are they going to do with their own lives. Consequently they’ll find the right job and then hopefully, the right partner!

I see something similar in the church. We all know that life has changed drastically. We see things differently for various reasons. What about the church? Well many people have left. Others have stayed. Yet, on what level do they participate? Most of them simply follow the same timetable and principles for ages. Others are contrary to any change. Surveys have shown that most people who are still attending church, are in their majority ‘conservative’ people. It means that they oppose great changes for whatever reason! Some of these people would like to remove Pope Francis just because they think he is taking away the old teaching of the church. Well, they are truly ignorant of the gospel because most of the apostles were married!! See https://www.thedailybeast.com/vatican-may-approve-married-priests-but-conservative-catholics-arent-celebrating

So can one expect great changes? I don’t think so because the most people who are the right agents for change have long left. So who can make changes after all? Sincerely we don’t have an answer!

This is in part the society of today: we wish to make changes yet no one would like to be in the midst of the struggle! When we were young they used to tell us the story of the mice and the big, ferocious cat. The mice had their meeting in order to put a bell around the neck of the cat. After hours of discussion, one old mouse, in a soft voice just asked: Who is going to put the bell around the cat’s neck? Silence fell. It’s useless that we would like changes to take place if we abandon the church!

I know from experience that going for church’s meetings it’s not the most interesting job of the world. Sometimes one has to meet lots of old people (with all due respect to the old ones whom we cherish a lot). Most of them seem to be stuck in the 1900s! We see the usual faces. Very rare to see new ones! Besides, the young ones are not easy to make them attend besides the 1001 appointments that they have to attend to!

To add insult to injury, in the world, in a generic sense, there is a lot of prejudice or ignorance of what the true religion says! So many valid persons who have lots of talents, won’t come to church owing to prejudice, ignorance or outright hate of all that pertains to the religious world! This is one of the most challenging visions of the church. How can we bring back the lost majority? What kind of teaching do we present? What are people looking for?

Again we present the married priest as a one who is living in the world today! He has the right mixture to be an ambassador to many young, adults or non-believers. The fact that they see him struggling with everyday normal timetables, would be a great asset. As Pope Paul the sixth once wrote: the world doesn’t need preachers but rather people who testify with their own lives!

Easter Sunday

The gospels are interesting to read from several points of view. One of them is for contrasts. The people next to Jesus who have witnessed the most astonishing miracles, walked side by side with Him for some years. They are so proud of their master. On Good Friday they are nowhere to be seen. They are terrified of anyone associating them with Jesus. Peter made a solemn oath of not knowing Jesus!

The leader is gone. All the followers run for their lives. They are nowhere to be seen. But they have witnessed the most extraordinary events in their lives??!! This is because fear took over. One of the biggest threats to faith is fear. Fear of what the others might say. Fear of being judged. Fear of being different. Fear of showing your true faith to others. Fear of loosing friends. Fear of being fired. Fear of the future. Fear of others. Fear of the immigrants. Fear of…….The list goes on and on.

Are we afraid? Afraid of what? The fact that I don’t have more stories (for the time being), means that people are afraid of sharing their intimate story with a priest, even though we promised not to reveal real names nor geographical position!

If we wish to see change in the church and yet we are not ready to jump, then maybe we are procrastinating change in the Catholic Church. Maybe like the apostles we are still experiencing Good Friday but not Easter Sunday!

Jesus has won death itself – our greatest enemy. What are we afraid of, exactly? Why is this fear keeping us from transmitting our message? When discussing with others, it’s the others who might be afraid of change, not us!

We have to start the ball rolling as we don’t expect others, especially the priests to speak in our name! On the other hand, it might be interpretated as Pharisaic because whilst we demand the priest to leave everything for the name of love, we are so afraid to touch the hot potato subject of married priests. Myself, I have lost the ‘comfortable’ job of working at the university. Other priests had to emigrate. Others receive a very low pay. Others are still shunned by most of the people, family members included! A few of them have committed suicide. I wish I could reveal the many emails/communication that I receive. Unfortunately, everybody seems to be a victim of fear as they don’t give me permission to publish!

One of the tactics used by most bishops, is that these are very few cases! This is not true. But how can I explain that I have so many cases on my hands if I cannot disclose any information about many stories?

I truly believe that everybody can do something small but with great love and determination. One can send messages through many parts of the world in different ways. I can’t give a general formula for everybody! It’s up to each person to study it’s own personal life and act accordingly.

May the Risen Christ give you enough courage to be bold enough and strengthen the church by suggesting married priesthood.

Who gives birth? Who is side by side with a new born baby? Who breasts feed the baby? Who answers the child’s questions? Who teaches him about God? The answer is usually (although there are some exceptions) a woman. Women, whether we acknowledge it or not, are the apostles who speak about God to their child. They are the ones who facilitate the relationship between God and the new born child. This continues for several years. Most probably during the teen’s years, existential questions may be asked by the young teenager which leaves some parents with their mouths wide open, in awkward silence.

Women are already acting like priests in their own families because they bring God to their family. What’s missing? It’s their input in the parish. We all know that more priests and bishops are becoming aware of the lack of priests in parishes (in Europe and North America). The first response is being that of amalgamating parishes. This is contrary to what people expect, because today we look for a sense of belonging in our parish. Now if the parish becomes bigger, that sense of community disappears. If that disappears, most probably church attendance will go down too. If that happens, what happens to Christianity if we don’t meet every Sunday? How are people going to learn how to find God in their busy lives?

One German bishop, is proposing a different path (finally). Yes lay people (those who are not priests), can manage a parish! Can you understand the meaning and the implications of it? Yes women too can manage a parish. The Holy Spirit always moves in hidden areas. There are many people out there who think that the Catholic Church will never change (it’s against our faith!!). Yet surprises will never stop in our life. The main problem is always the same. We have our own agenda and we want God to obey our ‘orders’. God will move his church when he deems fit. Obviously some of us who wish to hurry, will feel disappointed. Yet, as Catholics we have to bow to God’s will as we daily pray through our Father.

Now what does this mean? We need to prepare many lay people in order to take over our parishes. Obviously, they need preparation. When it comes to managing people, I do believe that some people are already highly qualified to do such job. The same goes for accounts and other daily running schedules. Yet the most important one (ie implying for married priests), they need to be trained in theological studies. This week I posted a link to a preacher who emphasized the role of women deacons in the early church. Now how many women know about that? Very few. If more lay people go to such courses, we could manage the church much better. Trained people is the best answer for tomorrow’s church because as we have seen in Germany, lay people one day will take over (with or without the consent of some priests!). Statistically this is beyond any doubt as future numbers will force the church to change path. The important thing is that we’ll have a good number of lay people who are prepared to take over as otherwise, unprepared and unqualified people will do more harm than good.

Let’s start thinking about the future, today or right now! May God Bless you all!

One of the most important aspects of this blog, is that women are giving a wonderful insight about falling in love with a priest. They are showing a new kind of theology, one that speaks from the heart. One that starts from real experience.

On the other hand, we feel responsible to provide the missing link….how the priest thinks, behaves and decides. What makes a priest decide to stay?

Is it a spiritual reason? In very few cases yes. The priest believes that his love affair was something that brought about a big change in his life but it encouraged him to tune in or invest, in a better relationship with God, the church and in the case of a religious priest, to lighten up his fraternity.

In most cases, though, we believe that other reasons hold the priest on a ‘ransom’.

One of the most common reasons is that of brain washing. The priest has been bombarded with the same message for years. How can he now let go of all of it? It’s still a common culture in seminaries (place where priests are trained), to keep some distance from women; to take extra care; don’t give too much personal attention; don’t show too much interest; some are outright and very explicit against women that they see them as ‘devils’……..

The fact that a priest finds some time to talk to a woman outside the priest-penitent relationship, might already make him feel guilty! The concept of ‘sin’ is carved inside the skin of a priest and it may play havoc with a relationship. Excommunication is another word which has lost meaning for today’s world but NOT for the priest. He might be excommunicated (send off, he won’t be part of the church officially) if he marries a woman without dispensation (permit from the Pope). All this forms part of a legal framework which many women find hard to understand, let alone digest. Now applying for a dispensation may become a nightmare for the priest as they ask so many intimate questions (and against human rights), that makes him feel like an ant…..in other words it’s like a rape.

The hidden message is that if one wants to get out, he has to bare it all, or it’s like putting the soul in the nude. Some people think that God’s judgement won’t be that harsh or that deep!! The worst of all is that the priest has to admit that he has fallen and cannot live the gospel! The official words would be: from priesthood he is to be reduced to the lay (ie means not a priest and neither a religious person who lives in a monastery) state!!!

All of this creates a barrier for the priest to decide. It makes it practically impossible to leave.

He’s used to speak to a crowd but not to a one to one relationship. He’s used to have a ‘platform’ ie to speak with authority. How can he make himself vulnerable to a woman? He is caught unawares falling in love, because he feels so uncomfortable in a relationship. Normally he sees many people but nobody stays with him to get to know him so well.
Another big hurdle is that of the safety net within the church where he receives money plus lots of benefits (including retirement). If he goes out, most of his ecclesiastical certificates count to nothing (unless a good job counsellor teaches him how to translate his skills into a normal job vocabulary).

In most cases he needs a place to live…maybe the present one is in the parish or where people have known him as a priest in a parish…..now the same people look at him differently!!! In other words he needs to move out and most probably he needs help to sell his apartment and buys another one. In the case of the religious priest, in most cases he doesn’t have money at all to buy basic necessities, let alone an apartment!!!! So it makes it 100% impossible to leave.

The priest as an unmarried priest relies heavily on his family. What does his family say? Can he go against them if they don’t agree? Most probably his family understands his decision. They can’t see him suffer anymore…..but what is the problem? They can’t face the people because they are going to be victims too (this could be the major reason why they don’t side with him!!!), which brings us to the gossip problem.

The hear say or the gossip reason, is the one which the priest preached against, now is one of the major reasons why it makes his life so miserable. It’s not only him but her as well. She might be easily slandered and nicknamed unchristian names!!! It’s so hard for a public figure to make that change. Most woman don’t understand the public role a priest has. Everybody looks up to him. Now the column of the town has left…..most people don’t like uncertainty and consequently they make the priest pay heavily for that. Other people have confessed crimes etc….now they see him holding hands…..they might feel vulnerable and crossing unchartered waters.

These are only some of the reasons. We leave the rest to our intelligent and God seeking readers to explain more fully and to write about other reasons too. May God Bless you all! You have given birth to a new theology, one that makes God incarnated (born of flesh) into our unique and personal lives. Happy Christmas to all!