Tag Archive: priests who love women

Churchgoers and the unchurched!

Young people struggle to find their place on earth. They have to get to know themselves really well in order to find what are they going to do with their own lives. Consequently they’ll find the right job and then hopefully, the right partner!

I see something similar in the church. We all know that life has changed drastically. We see things differently for various reasons. What about the church? Well many people have left. Others have stayed. Yet, on what level do they participate? Most of them simply follow the same timetable and principles for ages. Others are contrary to any change. Surveys have shown that most people who are still attending church, are in their majority ‘conservative’ people. It means that they oppose great changes for whatever reason! Some of these people would like to remove Pope Francis just because they think he is taking away the old teaching of the church. Well, they are truly ignorant of the gospel because most of the apostles were married!! See https://www.thedailybeast.com/vatican-may-approve-married-priests-but-conservative-catholics-arent-celebrating

So can one expect great changes? I don’t think so because the most people who are the right agents for change have long left. So who can make changes after all? Sincerely we don’t have an answer!

This is in part the society of today: we wish to make changes yet no one would like to be in the midst of the struggle! When we were young they used to tell us the story of the mice and the big, ferocious cat. The mice had their meeting in order to put a bell around the neck of the cat. After hours of discussion, one old mouse, in a soft voice just asked: Who is going to put the bell around the cat’s neck? Silence fell. It’s useless that we would like changes to take place if we abandon the church!

I know from experience that going for church’s meetings it’s not the most interesting job of the world. Sometimes one has to meet lots of old people (with all due respect to the old ones whom we cherish a lot). Most of them seem to be stuck in the 1900s! We see the usual faces. Very rare to see new ones! Besides, the young ones are not easy to make them attend besides the 1001 appointments that they have to attend to!

To add insult to injury, in the world, in a generic sense, there is a lot of prejudice or ignorance of what the true religion says! So many valid persons who have lots of talents, won’t come to church owing to prejudice, ignorance or outright hate of all that pertains to the religious world! This is one of the most challenging visions of the church. How can we bring back the lost majority? What kind of teaching do we present? What are people looking for?

Again we present the married priest as a one who is living in the world today! He has the right mixture to be an ambassador to many young, adults or non-believers. The fact that they see him struggling with everyday normal timetables, would be a great asset. As Pope Paul the sixth once wrote: the world doesn’t need preachers but rather people who testify with their own lives!

Easter Sunday

The gospels are interesting to read from several points of view. One of them is for contrasts. The people next to Jesus who have witnessed the most astonishing miracles, walked side by side with Him for some years. They are so proud of their master. On Good Friday they are nowhere to be seen. They are terrified of anyone associating them with Jesus. Peter made a solemn oath of not knowing Jesus!

The leader is gone. All the followers run for their lives. They are nowhere to be seen. But they have witnessed the most extraordinary events in their lives??!! This is because fear took over. One of the biggest threats to faith is fear. Fear of what the others might say. Fear of being judged. Fear of being different. Fear of showing your true faith to others. Fear of loosing friends. Fear of being fired. Fear of the future. Fear of others. Fear of the immigrants. Fear of…….The list goes on and on.

Are we afraid? Afraid of what? The fact that I don’t have more stories (for the time being), means that people are afraid of sharing their intimate story with a priest, even though we promised not to reveal real names nor geographical position!

If we wish to see change in the church and yet we are not ready to jump, then maybe we are procrastinating change in the Catholic Church. Maybe like the apostles we are still experiencing Good Friday but not Easter Sunday!

Jesus has won death itself – our greatest enemy. What are we afraid of, exactly? Why is this fear keeping us from transmitting our message? When discussing with others, it’s the others who might be afraid of change, not us!

We have to start the ball rolling as we don’t expect others, especially the priests to speak in our name! On the other hand, it might be interpretated as Pharisaic because whilst we demand the priest to leave everything for the name of love, we are so afraid to touch the hot potato subject of married priests. Myself, I have lost the ‘comfortable’ job of working at the university. Other priests had to emigrate. Others receive a very low pay. Others are still shunned by most of the people, family members included! A few of them have committed suicide. I wish I could reveal the many emails/communication that I receive. Unfortunately, everybody seems to be a victim of fear as they don’t give me permission to publish!

One of the tactics used by most bishops, is that these are very few cases! This is not true. But how can I explain that I have so many cases on my hands if I cannot disclose any information about many stories?

I truly believe that everybody can do something small but with great love and determination. One can send messages through many parts of the world in different ways. I can’t give a general formula for everybody! It’s up to each person to study it’s own personal life and act accordingly.

May the Risen Christ give you enough courage to be bold enough and strengthen the church by suggesting married priesthood.

We are presenting two more cases (love relationships between women and priests), that we’ve just received. We are happy that more people are opening up and writing their stories. They are acknowledging that we’re doing a great spiritual job with our website as more people are coming to our website. It’s a big deal with the number of people visiting our website as we don’t do any kind of advertisements. But people use the internet to look out for information which is not readily available in the other media.

It’s a pleasure that we are not making up things or stories but readers are sending their true stories. The website is slowly becoming the readers’ website as they write and comment on the celibacy of priests. Consequently today we don’t wish to comment on these two stories in order to let readers comment themselves. We are waiting for your comments. We are so happy that we receive your feedback. Please remember we left the stories as they were written by our readers. We just changed names and other personal details.

Case 1:

I’m Jane. I’m in a relationship with a priest like a husband and wife. We compliment each other because I’m the type of the woman who don’t want to get married. Serious commitment fears me and makes me feel bored. So I don’t mind him being a priest. I enjoyed the privacy of my life single and alone while having intimate discreet relationship with my priest. I rarely like someone. I fall in love only to discreet people or someone that challenge me by his uniqueness. I like him being a priest. I don’t want him to leave his priesthood. I become more in love seeing him serving people and church. I need his love and he needs mine. For me life is too short to complicate things. Accept only what you can embrace. If your not happy and feel troubled with your situation leave it and move on. Me I’m staying. Relationship have different problems. Live each day. Minding too much future will cause you headache. Be happy with what you have now, you’ll never know later your dead. Wear your best dress, be beautiful and enjoy love. So what if he can’t spend time with you everyday? There are many couples out there having a long distance relationship, some working abroad and seeing their wife every 2-3 yrs? Rather than blaming church, priest or yourself from loving why not enjoy life. People have different struggles in life. I’d rather have a good loving priest than a drug addict husband that will force you to work and beat you till death, as what I watched in news everyday. I just embrace that priesthood is his work, his life and passion and I love seeing him following his heart and getting his dream. I have my dream also and he supports me too. I don’t need him to feed me because I have a job and some property. I can feed myself. I’m not afraid of getting pregnant either. I’m not gifted of having kids. He serves God. I serve people. We both enjoy our passion in life and continue loving, understanding and supporting each other.

Case 2:

I’m Jennifer. I’m in love with my priest. When i first met him I did not like him because during confession he told me a truth about myself being guilty regarding a certain situation. As time passed I recognized he told me a truth and I began to respect him. One night I was praying for a godly husband and the next day at church he asked my name and I remember laughing to myself saying I know I asked for a godly husband but the priest was the only one who asked my name . Soon after I had a dream about him and I woke up thinking oh God don’t tell me I’m in love with the priest, I’m not supposed to like a priest.The next time I went to confession sitting waiting to confess to him I could see him through the glass and I thought this is good , I don’t feel so strong,until I got up to confess to him and I realized how happy I was to see him. As time passed sometimes I noticed him looking at me or how difficult it was for me to focus during mass cuz my eyes would drift towards him. One day he hugged me and I was more than glad to hug him back. One day he kissed my cheek and my heart felt like it was going to explode with happiness. Every time he comes around I get tongue tied and feel like a teen girl with her first love and I have never gotten speechless with any man I was attracted to before, it’s only with him . Unfortunately I have one of those faces when I’m happy the whole world can see and I can’t help but get the biggest smile when I see him.I worry that others can tell I’m in love with him just by how I glow when he is around and I’m not sure if its guilt for being in love with him or if the deacon can really tell I’m in love with the priest but I feel like the deacon hates me when he sees me. I have never attempted to be alone with my priest or asked for any counseling,i have never offered him my number or invited him out to coffee even though there a lot of times when I wish I could invite him out but I know I do not trust myself to be alone with him because I know with all my heart I would want to kiss in an intimate way and more.I am afraid others will either gossip about him or that I could somehow make him lose grace or cause him scandal . I want to tell him I love him but I feel like that would be self serving and if I really love him that I shouldn’t say anything but sometimes I wish I could just tell him or I feel like I want to see him or talk to him about little things,everything and nothing or like I wish I could go put a big note on his car and some roses and say hey I love you but at the same time I wouldn’t want to burden him with my feelings. At first I thought he may feel the same way because he asked my name first, hugged me first, kissed my cheek and called me beautiful, but then reading about customs from his country it seems a kiss is just a friendly greeting towards a friend where he comes from:( plus I have seen him hug other parishioners) so maybe I was just confused about his feelings for me.I do feel jealous when I see other women by him.I have gone to confession to 2 other churches and one priest told me it was natural to be attracted to a priest because they are good people but to stop going to my church for awhile which made me sad . i normally go on Saturdays so i did not go that particular Saturday but by the next Sunday i went .The other church i confessed at that priest told me it was ok that i was in love with my priest as long as i didn’t tell him or attempt to be alone with him which i have not and that it was ok for me to continue to go to my church. Seems like i have been to confession every week this last month and all at different churches once with my priest.When i did confess to him i tried to be detached for his sake or maybe mine,i thought it would help for growth spiritually if i could still go to him and withhold my feelings for his sake and the good of the church.i just feel so confused though because to me love is a good thing and i don’t see why priests can’t marry.If they could i would say yes to him .One morning there was a big storm and i was thinking about him and how it would feel to kiss him and just at that moment a big crash of thunder sounded and i was like ok God I’m sorry!!! I love God. I was born on Easter, as a little girl i remember being proud i had earned a trophy for learning my prayers and sometimes i had even thought about being a nun but life took me in a different direction and though i was not married through the Church i had 2 children and did not stay with their father so i know what it is like to be in an intimate relationship and i miss the closeness and love and i feel like i want those things with my priest.I also feel like i love him more than just lust or sexually because i want the best for him .Even though i have not said the words i feel he may know just because I look like a Christmas tree all lit up when he is around.I hope the Church changes the policy so priests can marry and i could be free to tell him how i feel and not have to feel guilty for loving him and others could speak of their love too.For awhile i had thought about maybe stop going to Church altogether, I thought it would be best for him if i stopped going and i thought about trying to find anybody just so i could try to erase him from my heart and thoughts but that’s not what i want. I feel God brings people together for a reason and i know i would miss the Church and God if i stopped going and i know on days when my priest is not officiating my particular hour of mass i feel sad and miss him too . I have a heart big enough to love God, the Church, my family and my priest and feel sorry for myself and others whether they are priests who are in love or the person who is in love with priest because we are supposed to deny our love and made to feel guilty for our feelings.

If you are interested in reading a detailed study about the behavior of priests, then visit this website.