Tag Archive: priests with children

I don’t have in mind to become a doctor or else to give medical advice on what to do or how to prevent the coronavirus! Yet as a married priest I can’t help it, in writing about some parallel lines with our basic idea of married priesthood.

Fear. If languages divide us, yet one common language was seen throughout the whole world these last weeks: FEAR. When people are afraid, one is surprised what they might do. The case of the corona beer which clearly has nothing to do with the sickness has been victimised…just because it has the corona name, many people are not buying it any more!!! It’s incredible, yet when fear takes over, common sense goes out!

What did we do as a Catholic Church for so many years? The fear of death and hell has made many people submissive to our teachings. I do know of cases where at the point of death, some people have left all their possessions to the church in the belief that they would have won heaven!! Alas, their children might have gone hungry or became poor in the meantime!

In this context, now I do see why so many people are afraid to share their stories of love with a priest. Fear takes over. Even though we promise to change any details in order to protect their identity. How can we liberate these people from the slavery of fear?

Now I do understand what a friend of mine used to say: fire does not kill many people. Panic does! In fact many people in a fire die because of panic and not of fire in itself! Who hasn’t seen the crowds in the supermarkets where some people came to blows in order to buy basic items? Some psychologists called it the fear of the unknown.

Some people panic when the priest declares himself to be married. They want to stay but their panic takes control and they go to a ‘normal church’ to get married or to get baptised. There isn’t an adult faith. It’s just convenience! They are not born fighters! A married catholic priest is an unknown entity in their religious background! It’s fear of the unknown!

Look how people invaded some supermarkets and bought more than enough portions of basic needs! Some people rightly say that the longest journey in the world is not a geographical destination but rather the I to become WE! The supermarkets gave enough proof that we need to work more on community feeling and understanding. It’s one of the main missing type of work in many parishes! We still find it too difficult to leave behind the factory of sacraments to start community building as a main issue in parish work.

One of the expressions which is has become fashionable is the internet of things. Well, in some countries they have been locked in. It goes without saying that many people have to revert to the internet to spend their time and/or to communicate and/or to buy some necessities. We are experiencing a social experiment where we are practically living just with our family members. All other people are ‘virtual’.

Well, many parishes and priests have been caught on the wrong foot. How many of them can use the internet in order to proclaim the Good News? Although many of them have social media accounts, yet they have never used the internet as a medium for their work! They still relied on churches to meet people. Yet, people, especially the young ones, are practically 24/7 on the internet. Shall the coronavirus scare teach them a lesson to start using the internet more? Can we use it for the married priesthood? This was one of our thoughts at the beginning and it still is. We weren’t allowed space in a ‘normal parish’. We didn’t find it a problem because we already knew that the internet would have gained more popularity. Consequently we would meet more young people online rather than in a ‘normal church’!! One has to note that the internet is not to be used simply as a space for mass or for other lecture type of work!!

Within the virtual world, how can we enhance the sense of community? This is going to be our next challenge. People meet online, easily. Yet it doesn’t turn them into a community. One of them is the exchange of views or ideas. We do need to respect others especially when we do not agree. We can’t call others names! We cannot judge others. We have to see the frail, human face behind the monitor or the written message.

The work of community building is a never ending job. It’s not always full of roses, although even roses have thorns! We need to have more people who believe that as a community we can achieve more and better. One, on his own, cannot achieve much.

People who have access to media or to other important institutions, make a big impact on the rest of the population.  I really belief that this statement is true especially when it comes to the Catholic Church. People have listened to the same message for such a long time, that they believe what they hear. They never question such an authority. Others, even if they wish to walk outside the comfort zone, they feel afraid. Others are afraid of what might their friends say or do, hence even if they feel at odds with the church they still prefer to go there!!  This is all because of brain and cultural washing which has a solid basement in their minds and hearts.

We respect everybody’s walk of faith. But facts are facts and cannot be deleted by one’s wish or will! Here are some facts concerning the married priests and the so called unmarried priests.

We choose not to judge people. There is a group of people who have abandoned the faith. They lost faith in any type of church or are passing through a long period of lack of faith (referred to as atheists).

Others communicate with God without the intervention of any believing community. They feel better if there is a personal and private line with God. They pray in their own unique way and show love to God.

On the other hand there are other people who feel that the time has come to move on in their walk of faith. They cannot feel at home at the way the church is being run. They don’t agree with what the church is saying today. They don’t agree not because they have problems with authority or just because they want to be disobedient. But they’ve come to such a conclusion after a long time of thinking, praying and trying to live the true gospel. In this regard the teaching of the Catholic Church respects the private area called the conscience. So morally, these people are NOT wrong.

Now, they feel the need for the sacraments and a community. They ask for a church which is NOT judgmental. They want to adore the Lord in peace and serenity. They want to feel part of the church which should be looking for truth. A church which calls all sinners to come to adore the Lord. The lord is happy to touch, look and be next to sinners.

In this context, married priests are normally available to give happily a service to such people. The married priest knows a lot about spiritual dilemmas, about listening to both the heart and the soul of a person. Hence they can give a good opinion about one’s feeling in the spiritual world. The married priest builds the believing community around the challenges of today’s world. The community believes the priest because he is a person who is living the same challenges with no privileges whatsoever.

Contrary to what you may hear in other parts of the world or the Church, there are 21 legal reasons to use married priests! So yes, you can make use of married catholic priests. Priests who have resigned from a parish because of various reasons but who are living decently and openly a loving relationship with their wives and who are ready to take responsibility for any new person born out of that love. A married priest is one who is looking for a truly loving relationship and not a clandestine one, simply to serve his egoistic needs. His loving relationship is under the focus of all the community and this could be the biggest message of them all. He does not preach to others how to live a loving relationship because his personal life is the best homily.