Tag Archive: sex with priest

When we were young we were submitted to various teachings. Most of the time, we read books. We tried to assimilate as much as we could. Then years passed by and somehow we re-connected to what teachers/parents/guardians had told us. Most probably what we’ve been thought was good. Yet in real life it seems that it is a different kind of fish. It’s what we call the gap between the theory and real life!

We were thought to look up to priests for friendship, counselling, ideas etc…Obviously in theory everything is in order. Yet each every human being is formed not only through teaching, but through personal experience, chemicals present in his genes etc…All this will make it highly improbable to foretell his future life as each person has a different outcome, which is based on millions of variables.

The first step is when one is asking for help. It brings the baptised person close to a priest. This is the work of the priest after all! But what happens when most of the priests feel all alone, neglected, alienated, disappointed and put aside? A normal kind of friendship (obviously there is nothing wrong), could be a tempting one for the priest. Instead of listening and comforting the person, the priest fulfils his needs for friendship, attention, love etc…within the counselling sessions. A counsellor has to listen to the client and not vice-versa, at least he can’t talk for a long period of time. The fact that the priest starts talking about his life means automatically that the sessions are taking a different path!

On the part of the person who is seeking the priest’s help, things start moving differently when they view the priest not as a counsellor but as the one who is fulfilling their dream of the ideal man! Obviously when one meets another person for a few hours weekly, it’s very easy to idolise that person! Remember that most people as viewed at work, might seem to be the ideal person. It’s when one lives with the person that one sees the complete picture! Yet, when one is hungry for love, recognition, attention and self affirmation, all other things will occupy a less important place in their lives! They just want to cling to somebody no matter what! It could be that we’re living in anonymous cities (Western part of the world), hence we desperately need friends!

We’ve been saying for quite some time now that priests who explain the word of God every Sunday (plus maybe other public meetings), are practically revealing their inner self to the general public. He is the one who speaks about a lot of values where no one speaks anymore (or at least not that often!). Speaking about such values will put more fire on a woman’s heart who is burning with desire to have a loving partner.

The priest in most cases, has all the time of the world to meet, listen and talk with parishioners. He is the one who makes his own timetable hence, he is easily available! The priest has no one to report to for his day to day running. Hence he can postpone last minute meetings without giving any real reason or hiding behind superficial reasons!

We don’t wish to give the message that it’s impossible, yet in the present circumstances, it’s getting more difficult to be a good friend to a priest. When a person is not complete (in many senses), it could lead to trouble, whether he is a priest, bishop, Pope, woman etc…In mathematics they used to teach us that a minus ( – ) with a minus ( – ), make a plus!

Our wish to have married priests will help the church to have a better system where priests are living in a relationship which will help them understand better the need for attention, love, affirmation etc…We’re not saying that it’s foolproof. There is nothing perfect. Yet on the human side of the argument, it will help them to be better prepared to work in today’s church.

Second Class Priests!

In the absence of love stories between priests and women, we are sharing our reflections regarding the latest news in the Catholic church.

In a March 2017 interview with German newspaper Die Zeit, Pope Francis used the term viri probati – in this context, religious married men of proven character – in saying he was open to the idea of a married priesthood, as is allowed for deacons, in remote areas where the priest shortage is particularly serious.

We are still not 100% sure of the outcome of married priests as we are still receiving conflicting news! Read this article

In any case it seems that all newspapers are agreeing that married priesthood is again in the news. Mulling all kind of news to look for positive news, we see some troubling ones. In the quoted statement made above, we have one single question: So are married priests just fillers? That is: are they being allowed as if they are necessary evil? Are they being allowed simply to fill in the blanks? Are we sort of second class priests who are allowed to work as priests simply because there is lack of?

Many people point to married priests because they think that will stop sexual abuse of children. People focus on sex because for news agencies it sells a lot of money! We do notice many priests who are living a solitary life. They are practically moving bodies but dead in their minds. Others who travel most of the time. Some who embrace luxuries. Others who are simply walking study books which amply shows the negative effects of forced celibacy. The list goes on and on.

Our main point of view has remained the same. Most of the apostles were married. Are we going to follow the bible or are we going against it? They do quote the bible profusely in other moral matters, yet about this one they are so silent! Why? If the apostles did it, why not the priests of today? Or are we like a supermarket: we pick up what we like in the church?!

Having married priests we hope it will bring the focus of the church on new challenges. One might be the complete overhaul of the relationship teaching (and not sex!). Strong and stable relationship calls for consequences which will help the priest to mature as he faces different challenges in life. One glaring example would be children. Taking care of your own children will bring a new insight in the life of the priest. Married priesthood will help the priest to reconnect with normal life with all its challenges. Consequently, the whole church will change. This is the revolution which we are looking forward to experience. In the end there will be winners all the way. All would feel much nearer to God. Everybody will experience the Emmanuel – God is with us! It would be interesting to visit a priest who has kids crying, eating and dirtying all the house whilst he is trying to communicate with God! It would be a good example of how to keep God in the centre of all activity!

It’s up to our readers to continue our reflection.

Do you remember when kids of unmarried parents were not baptised ? What was the attitude of the Catholic community then? Do you remember the Galileo case? Do you remember the first time a woman read in church? Do you remember the first time that guitars were used in church? The list goes on and on……it was always an attitude of condemnation…..to be substituted by attitude of let’s turn a blind eye….then finally we can’t do without it!

This has practically been the attitude of the Catholic Church to whatever is new. We had the Second Vatican Council (meeeting for all Catholic Bishops 1962-1965) which should have served as a revolution but instead all the Popes after John twenty-third, tried to limit its effects on the church. Now finally the present Pope is turning the clock to the present times.

How does the present Pope think? Well he said it’s the way that faith is passed on. If they ask for baptism they’re asking to pass on the faith. He knows for sure how important for the church is to pass on the faith. He is being practical in not letting the church take the same road the dinosaurs did! Faith is not passed on automatically to offsprings. Somebody has to speak about God. They have to be witnesses to faith.

For most of the time that passed by, the church has insisted that being married in church is a sure way of witnessing and passing on the faith. Well, experience tells us that those married in church, are not always the best examples of faith. There are others who are living in particular situations (living with divorced partner for example), where although they seem to be living in ‘sin’, yet anybody can see their love and care for each other. We do know of many couples, who are not baptised at all, yet when one sees them how they interact with their children and with others, one sees God in their lives!!!

Life cannot be forced to be in a box, or regular in other words. Some people are called to live outside the box, or irregular life. This does not mean they disregard the laws of the church but rather they have to search and find God in their own particular situation. In a few words this has been the Second Vatican Council: it’s not the application of laws in particular situations but rather examining experience and listen to what God is telling you. Life is something personal and intimate. It’s very difficult and unethetical to expect laws to fit all situations. Besides in the same Second Vatican Council has called for respect to each and every conscience. We are obliged to follow our consciences (it’s our own personal and intimate guide which tells us how to respond to God’s love).

Why did we focus our thinking to such an event done by Pope Francis? Well on the same line of thinking, we are thinking or promising of having a Catholic Church in the future by providing married priests. If the people are to live their faith, they have to find courage and faith in the celebration of  Sunday’s liturgy. But if there aren’t any priests? Not only would married priests add numerically the number of priests, but we think that the time has come to see married priests once the converted Anglican priests are being allowed to live with their wives. Married priests could be of great inspiration and faith to most married people nowadays. Condemning or turning a blind eye won’t solve the problem as in the Western World the church is going to be practically non-existent! Let’s introduce married priests to have a new presentation and witness of faith!