Tag Archive: spanish love


When we were young we were submitted to various teachings. Most of the time, we read books. We tried to assimilate as much as we could. Then years passed by and somehow we re-connected to what teachers/parents/guardians had told us. Most probably what we’ve been thought was good. Yet in real life it seems that it is a different kind of fish. It’s what we call the gap between the theory and real life!

We were thought to look up to priests for friendship, counselling, ideas etc…Obviously in theory everything is in order. Yet each every human being is formed not only through teaching, but through personal experience, chemicals present in his genes etc…All this will make it highly improbable to foretell his future life as each person has a different outcome, which is based on millions of variables.

The first step is when one is asking for help. It brings the baptised person close to a priest. This is the work of the priest after all! But what happens when most of the priests feel all alone, neglected, alienated, disappointed and put aside? A normal kind of friendship (obviously there is nothing wrong), could be a tempting one for the priest. Instead of listening and comforting the person, the priest fulfils his needs for friendship, attention, love etc…within the counselling sessions. A counsellor has to listen to the client and not vice-versa, at least he can’t talk for a long period of time. The fact that the priest starts talking about his life means automatically that the sessions are taking a different path!

On the part of the person who is seeking the priest’s help, things start moving differently when they view the priest not as a counsellor but as the one who is fulfilling their dream of the ideal man! Obviously when one meets another person for a few hours weekly, it’s very easy to idolise that person! Remember that most people as viewed at work, might seem to be the ideal person. It’s when one lives with the person that one sees the complete picture! Yet, when one is hungry for love, recognition, attention and self affirmation, all other things will occupy a less important place in their lives! They just want to cling to somebody no matter what! It could be that we’re living in anonymous cities (Western part of the world), hence we desperately need friends!

We’ve been saying for quite some time now that priests who explain the word of God every Sunday (plus maybe other public meetings), are practically revealing their inner self to the general public. He is the one who speaks about a lot of values where no one speaks anymore (or at least not that often!). Speaking about such values will put more fire on a woman’s heart who is burning with desire to have a loving partner.

The priest in most cases, has all the time of the world to meet, listen and talk with parishioners. He is the one who makes his own timetable hence, he is easily available! The priest has no one to report to for his day to day running. Hence he can postpone last minute meetings without giving any real reason or hiding behind superficial reasons!

We don’t wish to give the message that it’s impossible, yet in the present circumstances, it’s getting more difficult to be a good friend to a priest. When a person is not complete (in many senses), it could lead to trouble, whether he is a priest, bishop, Pope, woman etc…In mathematics they used to teach us that a minus ( – ) with a minus ( – ), make a plus!

Our wish to have married priests will help the church to have a better system where priests are living in a relationship which will help them understand better the need for attention, love, affirmation etc…We’re not saying that it’s foolproof. There is nothing perfect. Yet on the human side of the argument, it will help them to be better prepared to work in today’s church.

Second Class Priests!

In the absence of love stories between priests and women, we are sharing our reflections regarding the latest news in the Catholic church.

In a March 2017 interview with German newspaper Die Zeit, Pope Francis used the term viri probati – in this context, religious married men of proven character – in saying he was open to the idea of a married priesthood, as is allowed for deacons, in remote areas where the priest shortage is particularly serious.

We are still not 100% sure of the outcome of married priests as we are still receiving conflicting news! Read this article

In any case it seems that all newspapers are agreeing that married priesthood is again in the news. Mulling all kind of news to look for positive news, we see some troubling ones. In the quoted statement made above, we have one single question: So are married priests just fillers? That is: are they being allowed as if they are necessary evil? Are they being allowed simply to fill in the blanks? Are we sort of second class priests who are allowed to work as priests simply because there is lack of?

Many people point to married priests because they think that will stop sexual abuse of children. People focus on sex because for news agencies it sells a lot of money! We do notice many priests who are living a solitary life. They are practically moving bodies but dead in their minds. Others who travel most of the time. Some who embrace luxuries. Others who are simply walking study books which amply shows the negative effects of forced celibacy. The list goes on and on.

Our main point of view has remained the same. Most of the apostles were married. Are we going to follow the bible or are we going against it? They do quote the bible profusely in other moral matters, yet about this one they are so silent! Why? If the apostles did it, why not the priests of today? Or are we like a supermarket: we pick up what we like in the church?!

Having married priests we hope it will bring the focus of the church on new challenges. One might be the complete overhaul of the relationship teaching (and not sex!). Strong and stable relationship calls for consequences which will help the priest to mature as he faces different challenges in life. One glaring example would be children. Taking care of your own children will bring a new insight in the life of the priest. Married priesthood will help the priest to reconnect with normal life with all its challenges. Consequently, the whole church will change. This is the revolution which we are looking forward to experience. In the end there will be winners all the way. All would feel much nearer to God. Everybody will experience the Emmanuel – God is with us! It would be interesting to visit a priest who has kids crying, eating and dirtying all the house whilst he is trying to communicate with God! It would be a good example of how to keep God in the centre of all activity!

It’s up to our readers to continue our reflection.

A Spanish love story

My name is Cris and I’m from Spain. I will refer to “my” priest as Father A. I have been thinking about sharing my story for a while but, at times it was too painful to keep thinking about it and feeling alienated because falling in love with a priest is not something common, at times, I’ve felt alone and even ridiculous. However, I’m glad there is a safe space where I can share my story with people who’s been there. I’m not going to get into details because there are too many but I will try my best to be as accurate as possible. Thank you in advance for listening.

I met the priest on February last year. I was a college student and I had to take extra credits and through a friend I took a class on Theology, which I love. There I met him. I was 27 and he was 36. I really liked him on the spot because he was very charismatic, goofy, awkward, smart and he seemed a genuinely kind person. I don’t think he paid much attention to me those days. However, in April we met by chance at a college event and we started talking. Everything was fine and normal. Then summer came and we both parted ways. Next semester I went back to college and I texted him because I really wanted to be friends with him and we met. Nice but very formally.

He later told me that we could go someday to have coffee or something and I immediately agreed. For me it was normal having a coffee with a friend. He happened to be a priest and had a right to have friends like any other human being. At the coffee shop we talked about life and stuff and when we were to part ways when he gave me a present: a book he had previously lent me. I admit that I was shocked and glad. I did not know what to think about it. I thought “well he is a priest, he is just being generous because he sees I’m a little alone.” Inside I was falling hard for him. Later that month I had to admit of having loving feelings and I thought to myself: this is shitty, but if there is a possibility of him liking me, I have to try. So months later (yes, I was a very insecure person back then), I asked him for coffee and he said yes. So we finally met and we talked normally and I thought, for how the conversation was going, that he was trying to push me back. I was sad but ok, but before we parted ways we went for a small walk around campus (it was dark) and when we were alone he took my hand and interlocked his fingers with mine. I was, again, shocked and I did not know what to do but i felt so happy that I just went with the flow. We kept talking but we did not talk about what that meant or about feelings. We parted normally, but i was still in hock and, because of all my insecurities, I did not know what to think because he also did not text me or anything.

Since that moment what we call here hot and cold treatment started between us. At points I thought I was over analysing things but one day I was brave enough and, after a day full of flirting, asked what we were doing. At first he denied it and said that it was me that flirted too much but then he had to admit it was also him. He said that yes, that he was attracted to me but he was not going to leave anything, that was his life. I understood but what hurt me the most was that for a long time he tried to justify all his actions, saying things like he was just a man, that he was having a tough time in his life, etc. We finally kissed, he told me to please leave him, that he did not want to fail his vows. He even told me that when we are in Heaven he would look for me to be together. I do not know if he was serious or if he just told me that just to leave him.

I felt that by justifying himself I had only been a scapegoat, that I meant nothing special to him and that I was ridiculed for having falling in love with him. To this day (and after many more things that happened that I’m not going to tell because it will take too long) I still have a hard time believing that he may have been in love with me, but not enough to try to go into real discernment. I do know if he actually had a crisis in his ministry because of us, but it was not important enough to do a real and serious discernment and just give us a try. Deep down I do understand that it’s his life and vocation, but after so many failed relationships I really wanted to feel loved and cared by a man who is kind and gentle and who likes me back…we have not seen each other in three months and we rarely talk.

Last time we talked he told me he had very good memories of us and that I was not the only one who pursued the relationship. I felt a little bit better but still it is not enough for us being together.
I’m sorry for my English. I do not know what else to say.

I say that Cris described her relationship really well. Now the practical part: how can we help her? First and foremost let’s keep her in our prayers. Secondly, can we share our experience in order to help understand better how a woman-priest relationship goes?