Tag Archive: women in love

When we were young we were submitted to various teachings. Most of the time, we read books. We tried to assimilate as much as we could. Then years passed by and somehow we re-connected to what teachers/parents/guardians had told us. Most probably what we’ve been thought was good. Yet in real life it seems that it is a different kind of fish. It’s what we call the gap between the theory and real life!

We were thought to look up to priests for friendship, counselling, ideas etc…Obviously in theory everything is in order. Yet each every human being is formed not only through teaching, but through personal experience, chemicals present in his genes etc…All this will make it highly improbable to foretell his future life as each person has a different outcome, which is based on millions of variables.

The first step is when one is asking for help. It brings the baptised person close to a priest. This is the work of the priest after all! But what happens when most of the priests feel all alone, neglected, alienated, disappointed and put aside? A normal kind of friendship (obviously there is nothing wrong), could be a tempting one for the priest. Instead of listening and comforting the person, the priest fulfils his needs for friendship, attention, love etc…within the counselling sessions. A counsellor has to listen to the client and not vice-versa, at least he can’t talk for a long period of time. The fact that the priest starts talking about his life means automatically that the sessions are taking a different path!

On the part of the person who is seeking the priest’s help, things start moving differently when they view the priest not as a counsellor but as the one who is fulfilling their dream of the ideal man! Obviously when one meets another person for a few hours weekly, it’s very easy to idolise that person! Remember that most people as viewed at work, might seem to be the ideal person. It’s when one lives with the person that one sees the complete picture! Yet, when one is hungry for love, recognition, attention and self affirmation, all other things will occupy a less important place in their lives! They just want to cling to somebody no matter what! It could be that we’re living in anonymous cities (Western part of the world), hence we desperately need friends!

We’ve been saying for quite some time now that priests who explain the word of God every Sunday (plus maybe other public meetings), are practically revealing their inner self to the general public. He is the one who speaks about a lot of values where no one speaks anymore (or at least not that often!). Speaking about such values will put more fire on a woman’s heart who is burning with desire to have a loving partner.

The priest in most cases, has all the time of the world to meet, listen and talk with parishioners. He is the one who makes his own timetable hence, he is easily available! The priest has no one to report to for his day to day running. Hence he can postpone last minute meetings without giving any real reason or hiding behind superficial reasons!

We don’t wish to give the message that it’s impossible, yet in the present circumstances, it’s getting more difficult to be a good friend to a priest. When a person is not complete (in many senses), it could lead to trouble, whether he is a priest, bishop, Pope, woman etc…In mathematics they used to teach us that a minus ( – ) with a minus ( – ), make a plus!

Our wish to have married priests will help the church to have a better system where priests are living in a relationship which will help them understand better the need for attention, love, affirmation etc…We’re not saying that it’s foolproof. There is nothing perfect. Yet on the human side of the argument, it will help them to be better prepared to work in today’s church.

Second Class Priests!

In the absence of love stories between priests and women, we are sharing our reflections regarding the latest news in the Catholic church.

In a March 2017 interview with German newspaper Die Zeit, Pope Francis used the term viri probati – in this context, religious married men of proven character – in saying he was open to the idea of a married priesthood, as is allowed for deacons, in remote areas where the priest shortage is particularly serious.

We are still not 100% sure of the outcome of married priests as we are still receiving conflicting news! Read this article

In any case it seems that all newspapers are agreeing that married priesthood is again in the news. Mulling all kind of news to look for positive news, we see some troubling ones. In the quoted statement made above, we have one single question: So are married priests just fillers? That is: are they being allowed as if they are necessary evil? Are they being allowed simply to fill in the blanks? Are we sort of second class priests who are allowed to work as priests simply because there is lack of?

Many people point to married priests because they think that will stop sexual abuse of children. People focus on sex because for news agencies it sells a lot of money! We do notice many priests who are living a solitary life. They are practically moving bodies but dead in their minds. Others who travel most of the time. Some who embrace luxuries. Others who are simply walking study books which amply shows the negative effects of forced celibacy. The list goes on and on.

Our main point of view has remained the same. Most of the apostles were married. Are we going to follow the bible or are we going against it? They do quote the bible profusely in other moral matters, yet about this one they are so silent! Why? If the apostles did it, why not the priests of today? Or are we like a supermarket: we pick up what we like in the church?!

Having married priests we hope it will bring the focus of the church on new challenges. One might be the complete overhaul of the relationship teaching (and not sex!). Strong and stable relationship calls for consequences which will help the priest to mature as he faces different challenges in life. One glaring example would be children. Taking care of your own children will bring a new insight in the life of the priest. Married priesthood will help the priest to reconnect with normal life with all its challenges. Consequently, the whole church will change. This is the revolution which we are looking forward to experience. In the end there will be winners all the way. All would feel much nearer to God. Everybody will experience the Emmanuel – God is with us! It would be interesting to visit a priest who has kids crying, eating and dirtying all the house whilst he is trying to communicate with God! It would be a good example of how to keep God in the centre of all activity!

It’s up to our readers to continue our reflection.

We are presenting two more cases (love relationships between women and priests), that we’ve just received. We are happy that more people are opening up and writing their stories. They are acknowledging that we’re doing a great spiritual job with our website as more people are coming to our website. It’s a big deal with the number of people visiting our website as we don’t do any kind of advertisements. But people use the internet to look out for information which is not readily available in the other media.

It’s a pleasure that we are not making up things or stories but readers are sending their true stories. The website is slowly becoming the readers’ website as they write and comment on the celibacy of priests. Consequently today we don’t wish to comment on these two stories in order to let readers comment themselves. We are waiting for your comments. We are so happy that we receive your feedback. Please remember we left the stories as they were written by our readers. We just changed names and other personal details.

Case 1:

I’m Jane. I’m in a relationship with a priest like a husband and wife. We compliment each other because I’m the type of the woman who don’t want to get married. Serious commitment fears me and makes me feel bored. So I don’t mind him being a priest. I enjoyed the privacy of my life single and alone while having intimate discreet relationship with my priest. I rarely like someone. I fall in love only to discreet people or someone that challenge me by his uniqueness. I like him being a priest. I don’t want him to leave his priesthood. I become more in love seeing him serving people and church. I need his love and he needs mine. For me life is too short to complicate things. Accept only what you can embrace. If your not happy and feel troubled with your situation leave it and move on. Me I’m staying. Relationship have different problems. Live each day. Minding too much future will cause you headache. Be happy with what you have now, you’ll never know later your dead. Wear your best dress, be beautiful and enjoy love. So what if he can’t spend time with you everyday? There are many couples out there having a long distance relationship, some working abroad and seeing their wife every 2-3 yrs? Rather than blaming church, priest or yourself from loving why not enjoy life. People have different struggles in life. I’d rather have a good loving priest than a drug addict husband that will force you to work and beat you till death, as what I watched in news everyday. I just embrace that priesthood is his work, his life and passion and I love seeing him following his heart and getting his dream. I have my dream also and he supports me too. I don’t need him to feed me because I have a job and some property. I can feed myself. I’m not afraid of getting pregnant either. I’m not gifted of having kids. He serves God. I serve people. We both enjoy our passion in life and continue loving, understanding and supporting each other.

Case 2:

I’m Jennifer. I’m in love with my priest. When i first met him I did not like him because during confession he told me a truth about myself being guilty regarding a certain situation. As time passed I recognized he told me a truth and I began to respect him. One night I was praying for a godly husband and the next day at church he asked my name and I remember laughing to myself saying I know I asked for a godly husband but the priest was the only one who asked my name . Soon after I had a dream about him and I woke up thinking oh God don’t tell me I’m in love with the priest, I’m not supposed to like a priest.The next time I went to confession sitting waiting to confess to him I could see him through the glass and I thought this is good , I don’t feel so strong,until I got up to confess to him and I realized how happy I was to see him. As time passed sometimes I noticed him looking at me or how difficult it was for me to focus during mass cuz my eyes would drift towards him. One day he hugged me and I was more than glad to hug him back. One day he kissed my cheek and my heart felt like it was going to explode with happiness. Every time he comes around I get tongue tied and feel like a teen girl with her first love and I have never gotten speechless with any man I was attracted to before, it’s only with him . Unfortunately I have one of those faces when I’m happy the whole world can see and I can’t help but get the biggest smile when I see him.I worry that others can tell I’m in love with him just by how I glow when he is around and I’m not sure if its guilt for being in love with him or if the deacon can really tell I’m in love with the priest but I feel like the deacon hates me when he sees me. I have never attempted to be alone with my priest or asked for any counseling,i have never offered him my number or invited him out to coffee even though there a lot of times when I wish I could invite him out but I know I do not trust myself to be alone with him because I know with all my heart I would want to kiss in an intimate way and more.I am afraid others will either gossip about him or that I could somehow make him lose grace or cause him scandal . I want to tell him I love him but I feel like that would be self serving and if I really love him that I shouldn’t say anything but sometimes I wish I could just tell him or I feel like I want to see him or talk to him about little things,everything and nothing or like I wish I could go put a big note on his car and some roses and say hey I love you but at the same time I wouldn’t want to burden him with my feelings. At first I thought he may feel the same way because he asked my name first, hugged me first, kissed my cheek and called me beautiful, but then reading about customs from his country it seems a kiss is just a friendly greeting towards a friend where he comes from:( plus I have seen him hug other parishioners) so maybe I was just confused about his feelings for me.I do feel jealous when I see other women by him.I have gone to confession to 2 other churches and one priest told me it was natural to be attracted to a priest because they are good people but to stop going to my church for awhile which made me sad . i normally go on Saturdays so i did not go that particular Saturday but by the next Sunday i went .The other church i confessed at that priest told me it was ok that i was in love with my priest as long as i didn’t tell him or attempt to be alone with him which i have not and that it was ok for me to continue to go to my church. Seems like i have been to confession every week this last month and all at different churches once with my priest.When i did confess to him i tried to be detached for his sake or maybe mine,i thought it would help for growth spiritually if i could still go to him and withhold my feelings for his sake and the good of the church.i just feel so confused though because to me love is a good thing and i don’t see why priests can’t marry.If they could i would say yes to him .One morning there was a big storm and i was thinking about him and how it would feel to kiss him and just at that moment a big crash of thunder sounded and i was like ok God I’m sorry!!! I love God. I was born on Easter, as a little girl i remember being proud i had earned a trophy for learning my prayers and sometimes i had even thought about being a nun but life took me in a different direction and though i was not married through the Church i had 2 children and did not stay with their father so i know what it is like to be in an intimate relationship and i miss the closeness and love and i feel like i want those things with my priest.I also feel like i love him more than just lust or sexually because i want the best for him .Even though i have not said the words i feel he may know just because I look like a Christmas tree all lit up when he is around.I hope the Church changes the policy so priests can marry and i could be free to tell him how i feel and not have to feel guilty for loving him and others could speak of their love too.For awhile i had thought about maybe stop going to Church altogether, I thought it would be best for him if i stopped going and i thought about trying to find anybody just so i could try to erase him from my heart and thoughts but that’s not what i want. I feel God brings people together for a reason and i know i would miss the Church and God if i stopped going and i know on days when my priest is not officiating my particular hour of mass i feel sad and miss him too . I have a heart big enough to love God, the Church, my family and my priest and feel sorry for myself and others whether they are priests who are in love or the person who is in love with priest because we are supposed to deny our love and made to feel guilty for our feelings.

If you are interested in reading a detailed study about the behavior of priests, then visit this website.